What a blessing...

When we moved to Morristown, Tennesee 16 years ago Randy and I had the most unbelievable experience as a new pastor and his wife. We had the joy of meeting a man on the Pulpit Committee that was truly a giant of a man, both physically and spiritually. And he LOVED his Pastors.

All of us as minister's wives have known people who have loved us and we have certainly loved them, but this man was different. He went out of his way to do extraordinary things for us that we never could have experienced without him. Like the Christmas he flew us to Memphis to see Bellevue's Living Christmas Tree. What an incredible experience that was!!! He also served on several different committees, not just in the State, but in the SBC. Through his involvement with these people he introduced us to so many wonderful people

Mr. John Wallace had a remarkable amount of wisdom. When there was a difficult situation in the church we knew we could ask him his opinion and it would be filled with that wisdom. He trusted the Lord with every situation and that spilled out as a blessing on hundreds of people. It truly was a privilege to know this dear man.

Well, just as God had planned, Mr. John went home to Heaven on Thanksgiving morning. How appropriate that seemed. He will surely be missed. Not just by us, but by the church. You don't have many men like that as members. If we did our churches would be radically different. What a difference he made in our lives and in Kingdom work. He made ministry a pleasure!!!

IT IS FINALLY HERE.....

I am so excited!!! It is finally here. I had to wait all year, but at last.... I did think it would come a little earlier than it did though.

We got up today and decided that the whole family would go to Dollywood. This had also been a tradition for years. So we loaded up, got our hats and gloves and mitts and strollers and everything else you could think of and took off. But that meant that I still had to wait....

We went to the shows, rode the rides, enjoyed the lights, laughed and had such a wonderful time. We watched the parade through the eyes of our granddaughter who was intrigued by everything. But still, I had to wait.

The anticipation had been growing all day. I knew it would soon be time and I was getting so excited. The time was drawing near...

We stayed until the park closed, loaded everyone back up and headed to the house. Just a few more minutes!!!!

We got to the house and it was FINALLY time. We took out all the leftovers and arranged them on the counter. And now, THE TIME WAS HERE....

I opened a fresh bag of soft white bread (you know, the unhealthy kind), put the mayonnaise on the bread (not low fat, but the real deal), added a little dressing, cranberry sauce and turkey.
I poured me a great big glass of ice tea and sat down to enjoy one of the greatest moments in life...a "Thanksgiving sandwich". Nothing tastes any better than that.

Thank you God for all the wonderful blessings you give us day in and day out. This time of the year we are so mindful of all You do for us. But tonight, I especially thank you for one of my favorites.....

TRADITIONS

I am sitting at my computer very early this morning and for the first time in a week the house is quiet. Everyone is still asleep and I have a few minutes to myself. Since last Saturday we have had a house full of family and things have been very lively to say the least. Some people may think this would be a nightmare, but I absolutely love it. I wait all year for it.

We moved to Tennessee in 1992 from the coast in Mississippi. All of our family lived an hour away in south Alabama. The families had always gotten together for Thanksgiving there, but that first year everyone thought it would be fun to spend the holiday in the mountains. Well, it has now become a tradition.

There are people literally all over the house. I have single beds set up in our garage that we make into a "dorm" complete with a television for the video games that everyone brings and tables and chairs for games and snacks. Every regular bed is full, of course, along with blow up mattresses put just about anywhere there is floor space.

I have cooked for months and put things in the freezer. I also feel like I have stood at my sink for an eternity washing dishes and preparing more food. You see, 5 of the people are college students and they can literally eat you out of house and home!!!

Last night during our Thanksgiving meal though, I stood back and looked at this family of mine. They were all talking and laughing while they were fixing their plates. You could hear comments about how they couldn't wait for their "favorite" dish. I also heard some of them talking about how they enjoyed the tradition of being here and doing the same thing every year.

Aren't we funny people the way we love our traditions? They are so very important in shaping our lives. There is just something about knowing that certain things remain the same, year after year after year,

My prayer is that we can continue doing this with our family until God takes us home. Then we can enjoy a banquet together like we have never known!!!

Sister, Beware

One last comment on the issue of relationships. Be wise and discerning. You might have heard it said before that "people are like elevators....they will either bring you up or take you down....surround yourself with people who will bring you up."

There are people who might seek us out with impure or ungodly motives and we must seek the Lord's guidance. Many of you have been hurt by such women and know exactly what I am talking about. Seek out those women who will do as Romans 1:12 exhorts...."that is that I might encourage you while among you each by the other's faith, both yours and mine." Oh, that we would be as "iron that sharpens iron" and not get caught up in the trap of talking about people or complaining or judging or gossipping.

It is much better to have no friendships than the wrong ones....I know....I have been in both places....where I had no one....which is painful....but not nearly as painful as having the wrong ones. Please do not misunderstand me, God might have us befriend someone who is deep in sin and who is difficult to be around....but we are not to become like them or to share our most intimate issues with them. Share with those who are trustworthy....and only share what is happening in your life and in your heart....not the lives or hearts of anyone else. More minister's wives get into more sin (and trouble) with our mouths!!

Father, I want to lift up my sister who is struggling in the area of loneliness and who is in need of a Godly friend. Would You provide her, in your timing, just the woman You want her to have....women who she can encourage and who will encourage her? In the meantime, draw her close to You....may You be her dearest Friend. May she be content in her relationship with You and during this season may she get to know You in a way she has never known You before. Thank you, In Jesus' name, amen.

Not Just Like Me

I posed the question last time “what are we to do if we are in a ‘season’ or in a church where we do not have friends?” Let’s address that question.

For many years I would look for friends who were just like me. Growing up all my friends were my age, we all went to the same school, lived in the same area, we looked alike, acted alike, even talked alike. I have moved many states away from those Dallas roots, but I continue close friendships with those six special girlfriends.

As an adult, I still long for friends. Desperate for someone I can hang out with. A friend I could call or drop by for no reason. And for years I would continue to look for friends who were just like me. I wasted a lot of time and was quite lonely until I finally went before the Lord and asked Him to bring to me friends. And, in His timing, He has. He is Faithful. He is Provider. He knows what we need when we need it. And He is full of surprises!!

What I discovered is I did have friends but that they were NOT just like me. In fact, the Lord has brought me ladies who are:
· 20 to 30 years older than me.
· 20 to 30 years younger than me.
· Have a different color skin than mine.
· Homeless.
· Divorced.
· In other denominations.
· Single.
· Dying.
· Frumpy
· In style
· Lost

Let me encourage you to ask God to bring you to the ladies He wants in your life. Let Him surprise you!! Perhaps you will find you really do have friends….only they are not just like you.

Do You Have Friends?

As I have said before, my husband has begun a new ministry in another church in another state and I remain in Tennessee to finish out the semester at the college where I teach.

Last weekend I was at our new church and had the privilege of speaking to the ladies at the yearly “Once Upon a Holiday” women’s event. I have spoken many times to groups of women that I did not know….and I have spoken many times to women in my own church….but I had never spoken to women I did not know who were my own church!!

I was quite apprehensive and fearful and would have backed out of it if I could have! Speaking has never been easy for me and I have a tendency to get diarrhea whenever I speak!! These ladies were so gracious and teachable and open as I shared my heart with them. I so look forward to serving our God alongside them.

A sweet lady came up to me after it was over and told me that after their previous pastor left, she felt compelled to be a friend to the new pastor’s wife. Wow!! She wants to be my friend? I am in awe that God began working behind the scenes months ago to provide someone for me! This woman did not have a name or a face but she had been given instructions—befriend your new pastor’s wife. I look forward to getting to know her and to seeing what all God is up to.

This has never happened to me before. Many times it has been a struggle finding women who want to be my friend.

Do you find that some churches are more “relational” than others? My husband has been invited out to eat and/or over to people’s homes more times in the last three months than in the last 15 years. Why is that?

At some churches where we have served we have had couples who both my husband and I loved being around. We could be ourselves with them, drop in anytime, share meals, and share our hearts with them. On the other hand, we were also in a church where not one couple fit that description.

There have been seasons where I had lots of friends and seasons where there was not one. Why is that? Why are some churches full of people who want to befriend us and others who act as if we have the plague? And what are we to do about it?

Share Sister, Share!!

I want to hear all about it!!

Since my husband no longer serves a church in Tennessee, I did not get to attend the TBC last week and the two minister’s wives events…so, I would LOVE for lots of you who were at the luncheon or The Good Cup to let us know all about it!! Please take a few minutes of your time to share some of the amazing things that God did….let’s make the event last longer than just a day.

What was special to you?
What encouraged you?
What ministered to you?
What enlightened you?
What made you laugh?
What made you cry?
What have you pondered?


Our advocate, Lana Rose, works tirelessly and courageously and purposely to build up our ministries, our homes and our lives. I know she would welcome any feedback or suggestions or attaboys you might want to pass on!!

A Disciplined Woman

Yesterday I shared with you the importance of being a wise woman. We all need to check the heart of our home and make sure that we are building it, not tearing it down.

Today I would like to briefly talk about being a disciplined woman. Of course, you know who our example is when we think of discipline in the life of a woman. The Proverbs 31 woman - Super Woman - The Impossible Dream !

The thing we have to remember is that if God put it in His Word, it is not impossible. He will help us accomplish all He has for us to do. Our problem tends to be that we want to accomplish all everyone else has for us to do. It is at times a definite conflict of interests.

The role model in Proverbs was a woman who was disciplined with her time and energy. I believe the discipline was her strength, but her success was her obedience to God's plan as a wife, mother, homemaker, business woman.

Personal discipline is a must, but will only be fruitful when we are spiritually disciplined. We cannot become so busy in God's work that we work without God. Each step is ordered by Him, don't you want to know which direction to go?

Time listening to God, through His Word, is a must. As we look at this remarkable woman in Proverbs we need not be defeated, but encouraged. It is possible to be this wonderful, disciplined woman. The secret is in verse 30 of the chapter. "Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised."

The fear of the Lord comes from time in His presence. It is prioritizing your life around His plan. Stop - Listen - He is ready to give you every ability you need to serve Him, your church and family.

A Wise Woman

What do you think of when you hear the words, 'a wise woman'? My thought is usually - I want that - I want to be wise.

Proverbs 14:1 tells us, The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands."

To be wise, I believe we must learn obedience to God. We must be students of the word and actively apply that Word to our own life. As we grow in the knowledge of God through His Word, we begin to learn how to build our homes.

As a pastor, my husband, Doug spent long hours at church. I am sure you can relate to that as you serve with your husband in ministry. Even though we loved our call by God, it could at times be stressful, time consuming and exhausting. Satan loved those times. He was always waiting for us to let our guard down in our home.

When Doug came home, I looked for ways to make a place of peace, joy and rest for him. I knew he would have lots on his mind and needed a place he could let go for awhile.

The boys and I played a game called "king of the castle". About 15 minutes before it was time for dad to arrive, we began to prepare. We first got ourselves ready - clean faces, hands and clothes. I freshened my makeup and combed my hair. Preparation for our 'earthly king'.

As Doug entered the door we would all greet him. The boys and I would clap and yell, "Yea, the king is home - welcome home dad!" We would each hug him, tell him he was missed and give him our best smiles.

This was fun for the boys and a joy for me to see my husband's tired face turn into smiles. It was really a simple thing, but had great rewards. Doug loved to come home! He looked forward to his time with us.

There were many times that my day had been a disaster and I could easily have met him with all my problems. Taking those first few moments to celebrate Doug being home, set the tone for the evening. As a result, he was ready and willing to help each of us with any problem we were facing, later in the evening.

Greet your husband today with love and joy. Be a Wise Woman.

God's Grace is Sufficient

I am asking God each month to show me what He wants to teach us. Each of the women writing for this blog feel a sense of responsibility to you. We have a love for that special woman known as "our minister's wife."

I know we each travel similar paths, yet at the same time, we have very individual and specific needs. How is it possible to touch each of those places in your individual hearts?

God tells us in II Corinthians 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness."

If you are like me, the thought just crossed your mind, "I should be the Incredible Hulk by now, if power is perfected in weakness!

What we learn from those words is that our God is completely adequate. There is nothing that you or I experience outside of God's hand. God's grace is truly sufficient. He will walk with us through difficult decisions, impossible relationships, physical distress, heart disappointments and family hurts. He tells us each of those situations can give us power to serve Him more completely, more perfectly.

I Corinthians 10:13 promises us "No temptation (trial or testing) has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it."

As we serve our Lord, we are able to claim God's grace for every situation. We are never alone. We are not the first to have a particular problem or painful hurt.

Our God is ABLE. He promises us His grace for everyday, every moment, everything that comes our way.

Take time today to thank Him. Give God that special struggle and trust Him for grace to walk through to victory. His power will be perfected in you.

Special Announcement

Don’t forget to make reservations to attend the Ministers Wives Luncheon on November 11 at Long Hollow Baptist Church in Hendersonville. The event begins at noon. The featured speaker will be Kay DeKalb Smith who will make you laugh yourself silly. The cool thing is that there will be plenty of door prizes (girlfriend, they’re giving away a cruise!) and everyone receives a goody bag full of girly stuff. The cost is $15 and you can register online at www.tnministerswives.org.



In addition I’d like to make a plug for a brand new event-The Good Cup. This event will be held on Monday, November 10 from 1:00-3:30 p.m. in the Youth Pit at First Baptist Church Henderson. The cost is FREE and you do not even have to register! All you have to do is just show up! You can come enjoy a cup of coffee and munch on delicious treats. (I know for a fact that there will be some type of chocolate there because I serve on the team putting this special event together). Among the special guest are Holly Thompson, anchorwoman from Channel 4; Kay DeKalb Smith, comedian; and Bill Choate, Collegiate Specialist.



Both events will give you a chance to meet and fellowship other ministers wives from across our state. Who knows . . . you might just walk away with a brand new friend who is part of our unique sisterhood. I know I am looking for a buddy who loves to laugh, loves the beach, and loves chocolate! Oh, by the way, if you come to one or both of the events, give Lana Rose, from the TBC, a big hug and thank you for her hard work. She is the convention person who ministers to our sisterhood. Love ya, Lana.



Okay girlfriends, I’ll see you there. Just look for me. I’ll be the one with a piece of chocolate stuffed in my mouth!

Kindergarten Education

When we first started our blog several months ago, I gave a brief overview of myself. One of the issues I touched on was the fact that preschoolers give me hives. Now do not get me wrong. These little people are precious and adorable; however, I just do not understand them. Give me a roomful of teenagers and I can play all day but lock me in a roomful of preschoolers and I will just cry. On that note I must mention that for next three days I will be subbing in kindergarten with older four year olds and young five year olds.

Now these children are not quite preschoolers who can not potty by themselves. Also, unlike true preschoolers, I do not make me cry. However, these precious ones still stress me out. If you do not have total control of the room, chaos will erupt. Most cannot tie their shoes or zip their coats. Of course, there is the issue of standard school attire and having to tuck shirts in and manipulate belts. Then you have those kindergarteners who know their ABCs and 123s and who love to learn. But there are always those few who lag behind and cry because they do not understand. By noon, I am ready for a hunk of chocolate and a nap!

However, with all the stress of handling preschoolers/kindergarteners, the Lord is teaching me a few things. First, these little ones love you unconditionally. One minute you may have to pull their behavior card for something they did and the next minute they are running to hug you. Second, all of the children want the safety of their teacher within eye shot. Third, they are learning to help one another if the other classmate does not understand.

If you think about it each of the points relate to our relationship to our Heavenly Father. First, He loves us unconditionally. He may have to get our attention when we sin but we can always go running back into His loving arms. Second, true believers know that they are nothing without the safety of the Father. We should keep our focus on our Heavenly Father at all times. Third, as we grow in Christ we should share that knowledge with others who do not understand.

I guess subbing in the kindergarten area is okay. At least they are teaching me a few things about our Father. The Bible tells us that Jesus asked the disciples to allow the children to come to him and that we should learn from these little ones. Oh yeah, I guess they are making me look forward to the day when I have a grandbaby. Maybe by then I will have gotten over my fear of preschoolers and no longer break out in hives

Sergeant Sally

A few weeks ago friends from Texas came to stay overnight with us. It was a wonderful time to catch up on what had been going on in our lives and remember the good times we shared. Our home was filled with laughter as we recalled some of the fun times we had.

As our husbands played golf on Saturday, I treated my friend to lunch and a short sightseeing trip. Later, we enjoyed a leisurely walk through my neighborhood. It was a sweet time. It gave me a chance to tell my friend just how much she meant to me. It was a time for me just to say thank you for rescuing me at a point of need.

You see several years ago in our ministry I was at a very low point. I was not only a pastor's wife and raising two sons but I was also finishing my college degree. To make matters worse there were a few families in our church who were fighting among themselves. This dispute was spilling out into the life of the church and hampering God's work. As a result, I was stressed out and did not want to leave the safety of my home.

Well, my dear friend, who is a pastor's daughter and has the gift of discernment and prayer, saw me spiraling into the abyss. One morning after I had returned from dropping my boys off at school I heard a knock at my back door. Now I had not showered, had no makeup on, my hair was a mess, my teeth were unbrushed, and I was wearing an old pair of sweat pants and a stained sweat shirt. I think you get the picture. I started not to answer the door but I heard my friend calling to me so I opened the door.

In bounced my sweet friend and laughingly commanded, "Get your purse and come with me!" I argued and said I could not go. I had housework and homework to do plus I was not dressed for going out in public. However, my friend would not take no for an answer. (By the way, that is why we call her Sergeant Sally). With her literally pullling me out the door, I grabbed my purse and prayed I would not see anyone I knew. However, I did take come comfort in the fact that Sergeant Sally looked as bad as me!

We drove an hour to another town and spent time in a coffee shop. She made me talk through some of the issues on my heart. She even let me cry which is normally not in her nature. After I arrived home, I felt renewed and loved. I knew that God was in control of the whole situation-from church to my education. For the first time in a long time, I actually could think past the next crisis. I believe that is the first time I realized God sends people into our lives to be His physical touch on earth.

Dear sisters, maybe you are in a downward spiral right now. I pray that you will experience God's touch today. Look around you. You might see His touch through a friend or the miracle of His creation. Perhaps you know someone who is going through a difficult time. Take time to touch that person's life today through a card, phone call, or even dragging them out of the house for a diet coke and a piece of chocolate. Trust me, if Sergeant Sally had not been there for me years ago I probably would not be where God has me today.