I am writing this blog
a few days early but I just need to share and I also need your prayers.
I do not know why I cannot listen to my own advice and
relax. Maybe it is because God made me
one of those people who desire to take care of everyone else. It is even to the point that I do not even realize
when I am stressed. Also, I can tell you
that even my favorite nerve pills, Peanut M & M’s, did not help me last
weekend when I had to spend several hours in ER due to extremely high blood
pressure.
After the last two and half years of dealing with my
terminal ill parents, I have developed an aversion to hospitals period. Just the thought of having to go to one can make
my heart race. However, last Saturday
night I needed help. My usually normal,
healthy blood pressure suddenly decided to skyrocket. I became light-headed, and it felt like a
butterfly had been set loose in my chest. After being hooked up to a heart
monitor, having an EKG and CAT scan, and blood work, everything looked
good. However, my pressure was
elevated. My greatest fear was that the
doctor was going to tell me “no more chocolate.” Instead, I was sent home with instructions to
see my general practitioner doctor which I did.
Thankfully the blood pressure is in a normal range most of the time.
However, because my dad had heart disease, I will need to wear a Halter Monitor
for twenty-four hours.
Saying all of this, do you know what both the ER doctor and
my family doctor believe my problem to be?
STRESS! I cannot believe that I have any stress in my life. Well, I do try to keep up with the household
chores, serve on our state ministers’ wives team, lead our association
ministers’ wives fellowship, worry over my grown children, and babysit my
two-year grandson. Of course, I have
responsibilities at church from choir to women’s ministry. In addition, I do live with the pastor of the
church. Okay, so maybe I do have some
stress.
God has a way to getting us to listen and He clearly says to
“Be Still” in His word. On Sunday
morning after my night in the ER, I went to Sunday School and our lesson was on
caregivers. As many of you know I helped
care for my ill parents for two years before they both passed away. That morning a woman shared her experience of
caring for her totally paralyzed sister for five years. It has now been about three years since her loved
one died, but stress finally hit her. As
she shared her story, it was like God was speaking directly to me saying, “See,
you haven’t slowed down. You simply buried both your parents and then kept
going on. It is okay to cry, scream,
laugh, feel relief, and take care of yourself.”
As ministers’ wives we are often too busy to truly feel the
stress of our role. If you are a
caregiver as I was, life passes you by.
I feel like I have missed so much of my own personal life that I am
trying to make up for lost time. When
the ER doctor said the word “stress,” I started crying. Even now as I write this blog, tears are
forming in my eyes. Stress is very real
and very harmful to our health. It will
catch up with us.
As I monitor my blood pressure this week and receive the
results from the heart monitor, I covet your prayers. Heart disease and high blood pressure runs in
my family so I want to be sure everything checks out fine. If it is stress as the doctors believe, I ask
that you pray for me to learn to relax daily. Personally, I would really love
for the word “stressed” to be read backwards as “desserts” so I can just have a
party.