Remembering and Celebrating Summer

She blows the whistle with three short puffs to signal the other guards. Then all the lifeguards together blow one loud, long, blow signaling the end of free swim and the beginning of the 10 minute rest break.

The children scamper out of the shallow end and away from the line for the diving board to meet on beach towels and eat small snacks around the perimeter of the local, public pool.

It was 5 o'clock yesterday and somehow that whistle seemed extra lonesome as I found myself wishing that sound somehow wasn't symbolically signaling the end to my summer.

I know that by the calendar, summer has over a month left. Here in Tennessee we can and will have summer type temperatures and weather patterns clear into November. (Or we could trick-or-treat in snow!) Summer, by many standards, is far from over -but according to my rising 10th grader, none of those indicators really matter.

School starts on Monday.

Dance classes for my daughter starts next week too.

Bedtime enforcements, packed lunchboxes, and set alarm clocks return to the norm in the Vinson house.

There's not a pumpkin-spiced anything in the cupboard - but summer is OVER.

I am not one of those moms that wish away summer for school to start and the kids to be out of the house once again. I have loved listening to the play, to the giggles and to the squeals. Yes, in all honesty and complete transparency, the bickering, the fighting, and the crying do get old - but in the grand scheme, they are worth the price of admission to get the time, to make the memories and to relish in the blessings.

We went on trips. We visited with friends and families. We tried new recipes in the kitchen. We had adventures. We did new things.

It has been a great summer and I am honestly sad to see it end.

Yes, I have missed my little friends and co-workers at the church weekday preschool and I am excited to see them all again next week, but for now, I am more than a little blue to turn the calendar page to August.

I understand the need of structure, school and routine. God set up the seasons, but He also instituted holidays to break from the mundane and remember.

In the Old Testament, He set up festivals and times to acknowledge His goodness and provision. Passover is an example of how the Israelites were supposed to commemorate how God had delivered them from the Egyptians and to celebrate their freedom from slavery.

In the New Testament, Jesus calls on His followers to regularly partake of the "Lord's Supper" to remember His ultimate sacrifice for us and to celebrate the end of our slavery to sin.

This summer has held a bit of both remembering and celebrating for me. As I've had a break from the school year routine, I have had the opportunity to do both. I have tried to be intentional to remember God's gracious goodness and thank Him for the bountiful blessings that have filled these summer days with joy. I have also been intentional to stop and to soak up the slower place, leaving something undone and realizing that it really isn't a necessity. I have relished time in Bible Study and relaxing around that same pool with good Christian sisters too.

It is the structure, school and routine that make me appreciate the summer so very much. So, as this season ends, and the next one begins, I want to be intentional this last weekend to remember and celebrate - to let summer linger and last as my family transitions back into the busy.

I don't know when summer ends for you. Maybe you haven't had a whole season, but maybe a week's or weekend's vacation. Maybe your kids have already returned to school Regardless, take the time to remember and celebrate His goodness and His grace.

Who's Teaching Who What?

I am LOVING my Friday Ladies' Bible Study at church. 

I have shared a little about it on here, but in case you didn't catch that post, let me catch you up a little- 

I was asked to lead a monthly gathering for the women of our church. The first, informational meeting came and I gathered a few notes and met with about eight ladies. 

We made a plan. We would study the women of the Bible. We would meet once a month, on a Friday morning. And, we would not have any homework.

After we set the next month's date, the ladies began comparing their ages. I am SO glad they waited until I was through before they determined that exactly half of them were in their 80s and that I was the youngest there by at least 25 years. Had I known all of this beforehand, I would have been completely intimidated and would have gone into our meeting feeling completely inadequate. 

As I took the next month to prep and pray for our next meeting, God helped me set my insecurities aside. Together, we all had a great time, opening God's word and all of us learning new things. 

Last Friday was our most recent meeting. There were 13 of us gathered in the choir room. We had our Bibles open for an hour and a half. No one seemed to mind. God was teaching all of us.

Some of the ladies related more to Naomi, while others stated that Ruth was the one they seemed to have more in common with. The first chapter of an Old Testament story that we were all confident in saying we were familiar with, was what God was using to speak His truth to us in fresh waves. We could see God's providence and sovereignty displayed despite Naomi's blindness brought on through understandable bitterness. 

Every time I am with these ladies, I am inspired by their faith and their insatiable desire to continue growing in it. I am reminded that this race we are running is indeed a marathon and that we will only see its finish line with the return of our Lord. I take hope in how God has grown and sown perseverance into their lives, knowing that He will do the same in mine. 

If our Lord tarries in His second coming and He sees it fit that I live into my 80s on this earth, I want to be like these women in so many ways. I want to be teachable. I want to be encouraging. I want to be growing in my understanding of who God is and how He works. 

He is that big. These ladies prove it. I can follow Him faithfully decade after decade, watching todays melt into yesterdays, trusting His promises and testifying to His faithfulness. 

How are these foundations of faith grown? 

• By daily choosing to increase Him and decrease me . . . 
• By taking rouge, sinful thoughts captives and replacing them with His words of Truth. . . 
• By being obedient even when it's hard and especially when I don't feel like it. . . 
• By resting in the knowledge that He is with me, helping me, recreating me all along the way, not wasting an experience, heartache or tear . . .

These sweet ladies are teaching me so much. I am SO thankful for our sweet time tougher. They may call me the teacher, but I know I am the one being taught!

My Simple, Pink Journal

For Christmas, my assistant at work gifted me a simple, pink journal. The pages are lined with blanks for the day's date in the upper corner. It has an elastic band to hold the faux-leather cover closed. On that cover, the words "Amazing Ideas" are decoratively embossed into the grain. The book size is small enough to slip into my purse but big enough to effectively write some "amazing ideas" within.

The note that accompanied the sweet gift made it all the sweeter. She wrote that she felt I had some "amazing ideas" and that she had thought of me when she saw my simple journal. I decided that I would indeed use my new journal to write "amazing ideas," but what my dear friend may not have known, was that I knew the ideas that could and would fill these blank pages would probably not be exclusively my own.

From social media posts to sermon notes, from my daily scripture reading to more intense Bible study, God impresses His truth upon me all the time - if I would only open my eyes to see and my ears to hear. He does indeed speak to me. He does show me things . . .

My simple, pink journal has become my central point for writing down quotes, phrases and passages that God seems to be pressing on my heart. Organized only by filling in the blanks for the dates, I can thumb through and see evidence of God speaking to me.

You know, the kind of things I'm talking about - those comments that the writer or speaker says that resonates with your current situation and you find yourself mentally saying, "Amen!" or "Ooh! That's good!" or "I need to remember that!" or "I should write that down somewhere!"

I have finally found a place to do just that - write it down somewhere. . .

Just this morning, I found myself near tears from work stress and longing for one more week of summer. I opened my planner and realized that it was my turn to blog. What should I write about? I want to be transparent and honest and honestly, I just wasn't feeling I had anything to say. I was feeling lots though - stressed and overwhelmed with work, sad that summer is ending, longing for more time to spend with my kids, hurting for a couple I know that is hurting. I wasn't feeling I had anything to offer . . .

So, I opened my simple, pink journal - surely there I would find inspiration; I would find something to write. . . .

Instead, I found where I had written words of Truth, spoke to my heart, through scripture and other believers to me . . .

This is the first quote my eyes fell on:

"When God seems silent, trust His promises more than your perceptions." - Jon Bloom

And then flipping a few pages back, there was this one:

"Turns out, coming to the end of ourselves (energy, resources, savvy, wisdom, or strength) is great freedom. It's where we exchange our frantic peace-keeping for His perfect peace-giving . . .  In admitting our insufficiency, we find joy and strength in His all sufficiency." -Ruth Chow Simmons

Here's one more:

"The fight of faith is fought with the promises of God. And the fight of faith is the same as the fight to walk by the Spirit. He works when we are resting in his promise." - John Piper

Through these quotes, I have been reminded that God is bigger than and is still with me in the midst of all of these feelings . . . The words that I copied down then, are still speaking to me now. . .

This morning, I now find myself thanking God for these truths and for the simple truth that the Creator of the Universe is the Lover of my soul AND that He speaks to me. My feelings are completely altered. My outlook on this day has changed. My attitude is hopeful. I am feeling better.

If one of your to-do lists tasks this August is like mine - to shop for, buy and organize a gazillion school supplies for some kids and/or teachers you love - add a simple journal to your shopping basket. It doesn't have to be pink, but it could be a valuable tool you use to remind you that God is speaking to you and to record what He is saying . . . You just might find yourself needing that reminder every once in awhile like I did this morning . . .

Waiting Well and Walt Disney

My husband and I told our daughters about our plans to vacation at Disney World this fall.

Talk about waiting with anticipation! When the trip was still 9 months out, our girls were already wearing us out with questions and suggestions. As we're getting closer to our departure date, their excitement only grows.

This is how I feel like I should be waiting when I am waiting on God - imagining, dreaming, asking, seeking...

BUT, what exactly am I waiting for?

Yes, I may find myself in a season of waiting for various news or specific resources. However, ultimately, as a Christ-follower, shouldn't I primarily always be waiting for His return? Am I anticipating the time when I no longer wrestling with my sin? Am I anxiously awaiting the day when the consequences of living in a fallen world have all disappeared?

Most of the time, for me anyway, I do not live waiting like I should. I don't think about eternity. I don't look at my life through the lens of His perspective. I don't wait with anticipation of His return.

For me, it is SO easy to become distracted by lesser things, things that pale in comparison to the unshakable things that Hebrews 12 tells about.

For me, there are the daily demands and routine responsibilities that keep my focus on the temporary trappings of this world.

For me, I settle on selfish goals and seem to forget the reality of Jesus returning.

The tension -or balance- is hard to achieve. Anyone got any ideas on how to be faithful in the mundane everyday AND the desire to just stand on the side of a mountain looking to the skies?

My prayer is that I would be looking toward eternity in the same way we are looking toward our Disney World Vacay . . .

1. We are talking about it. -What we are going to do, going to eat, who we will see, where we will go? Rarely do we gather around the family dinner table and NOT talk about Disney. When we gather with other Christians, we should share the anticipation and talk about the glory days that we have yet to experience.

2. We are seeking help. -We are working with an awesome travel agent. (If you need one, message me and I'll get you her contact 411!) We are asking her questions and listening to her answers. She has been there and done that and has the experience we lack. True, it is not very likely any of us can sit down and have a conversation with any person who's been to heaven. . .  BUT wait! Jesus did give us the ultimate Helper in the Holy Spirit. He can guide us and prepare us for the journey ahead better then any travel planner ever.

3. We are actively planning. -Our daughters are already talking about what they will pack. From clothes for the parks to books for the trip, the preparations at this point are still mainly mental, but they are well underway. I am reading blogs and monitoring Facebook pages to gain fresh perspectives and new insights since our last trip 4 years ago. As Christ-followers, as long as the Lord waits to return, we should be actively "packing" -learning new Biblical truths and growing in our faith, leaving behind the fleshly desires of our old nature and putting on the new.

4. We are intentionally investing. -No doubt, a trip like this for our family is expensive. Any link on Pinterest that has the phrase "Disney on a Dime" will be followed! We are setting aside funds and making payments so when we load the car and begin our trek south, we are not thinking about the financial sacrifice. As Christians, yes we give money to the local church. We tithe and make offerings. We also support other ministries with monetary gifts as the Lord leads - but our investment in the coming Kingdom is much more than financial. We invest in each other -our children, the members of our church and others God brings across our paths. Discipleship done right is downright messy and expensive. It costs us time and emotion. It requires us to sacrifice our own desires to make it happen.

The more our family talks about it, seeks help, actively plans and intentionally invests in our trip, the more focused on it we will be. The same holds true with learning to live with an eternal perspective while we wait on Christ's return. . .

My husband and I do not regret telling the girls about the trip. We are loving watching their anticipation grow. We are getting such enjoyment from seeing their faces light up and hearing the excitement in their voices. This is part of the fun. The waiting is even good . . . As a Christian, my anticipation of the second coming of Christ is a good thing as well. One day, when He does return, the waiting will be over and it will have all been good. The getting there is not just worth the destination, it is part of its ultimate worth. This "waiting" experience will add to the sweetness of what I am waiting for.

Lord, help us to wait for You the way You would have us to . . . Let us talk about it, encouraging each other. Let us look to Your Spirit to help us. Give us an active plan to grow in Your ways. Help us to intentionally invest in our faith and in each other. Be glorified in our waiting . . .  

More on Waiting

How do you know when God is speaking to you?

For me, there seems to be some common "threads" or similar themes that keep popping up as I read scripture, listen to sermons and expose my mind to other Biblical sources.
Since my posting the other day, I read the following excerpt from Desiring God on Instagram:

"As we seek to accept and rejoice in God's handling of our lives, including his timing, we can ask God to work in us two main things, so that our waiting is not in vain: humility and trust.

1. Humility

Sometimes, when I've found myself getting impatient and upset, I will remind myself that God is the one who put me here. My life is not my own. This is humility. It is coming to realize that we are a breath and God owes us nothing (Psalm 39:5, Luke 17:7-10)

2. Trust

Then comes trust, which means believing at least two things about God: he is powerful, and he is loving."

As I thought about this posting, I realized a few things: 

1. God is still teaching me about waiting. 

2. The Holy Spirit is still convicting me about how I wait. (I wrestle with pride and a lack of faith.)

3. I need to pray for the humility and trust that I need to wait well.

Our God most certainly speaks to us, if we would just listen. This is what He is speaking to my heart right now. What is He speaking to yours?

Waiting for Him

I don't like waiting.

Few of us do, I just don't do it well . . .  in the least.

Whether it is on traffic or on my kids, my patience is easily tried, time and time again.

Sometimes we find ourselves waiting for all kinds of things, most minor, others more major. We pray for direction and discernment, confirmation and conviction, help and healing, provision and promises -fulfilled.

Recently, it was my turn to share during our weekly staff devotion time. My name had been by this date on the calendar for several months and as the time approached, this idea of "waiting" kept coming to mind.

"Okay," I thought. "I will do a search on what the Bible has to say about waiting."

I went to Biblegateway.com and to see what verses would pop up.

My findings? Lots of examples of Biblical peeps "waiting" or being warned about those who "lie in wait." The results I found in Psalms, Proverbs and Isaiah seemed to be just the promises I was looking for. I wanted the devotion I was leading to be encouraging and up-beat.

Then a particular reference from Isaiah caught my eye:

"Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you,

    and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you.

Isaiah 30:18a

All the other passages seemed to speak to those of us who "wait on the Lord" - You know, because then He will renew our strength, etc... BUT, this verse was different. The subject was not expected. We are not the ones doing the waiting - God is. 

And who is He waiting on? Us. 

Why? To be gracious to us. 

Here I am in my arrogance, self-righteousness and pride thinking I am the one waiting on God. I am praying for His timing and His provision and His will without acknowledging that in the waiting He is graciously giving me all three. 

The devotion I thought would be encouraging to others, turned out to be convicting to me.

As He waits, He is revealing His exalted place as my Creator, Savior and Lord. By comparison, especially without Him, I am lowly and insignificant. 

Like an unbelievably patient parent waiting for their toddler's temper tantrum to pass, He is responding to my impatience with mercy.

The last part of verse carries just as much weight: 

For the Lord is a God of justice;

    blessed are all those who wait for him.

Isaiah 30:18b

He is indeed a God of justice. He is not making us wait unfairly or without gain. When we find ourselves waiting for Him, He sees us. He knows and we are blessed. 

He always does immeasurably more than we ask or imagine. He doesn't waste time in our waiting. He is working on us and for us and in us in ways that are higher than our understanding. 

My eyes seemed to be opened by this new-to-me perspective on waiting . . . If God is patiently waiting on me, then who am I to not wait patiently on Him?!

Let's face it, whether it is for test results, a committee decision, or a returned phone call, when our perspective is where it oughta be, we are all ultimately waiting on Him anyway. 

And in that waiting, let's wait like we know we are being blessed for it. As He graciously waits for me, so I will wait for Him. 

Ladies' Bible Study

This week I have been sharing insights from a Bible study I had been preparing to teach to the ladies at our church.

This morning I met with them. We opened God's word and discussed what we read. We wondered at it and savored our time in it. It was a sweet time.

I am amazed that God has given me this opportunity to lead these saints in a study of His Word.

The church we serve is mostly comprised of the generation of my grandparents and I find myself in awe of their faithfulness not just over years, but over decades and decades.

I love to sit at our potlucks -and not just to eat the yummy, homemade deliciousness that is contributed, but to ask questions and listen to a new-to-me tale of God's faithfulness to a believer that has been walking in faith since before I was born.

The first time we met to study, I was glad that the ladies waited until after we'd finished to begin talking about their ages. (You just think that women won't share exactly how old they are, but some of these sweet ladies proudly wear their ages like badges.) I found myself starting to feel intimidated when I realized that a high percentage of these ladies were at least double my age of 41 years.

What could I say that they hadn't heard before?
I should be attending a study that they were leading!
What must they think of me?
What can I offer them?
I am used to teaching teenagers and preschoolers!
How can I connect with these ladies whose life experiences seem so far from my own?

Some of the ladies are widows. Some of them have buried children. All of them have things that they could be teaching me . . .

As I prepared for our next study - the one we had this morning. I sensed the Lord just encouraging me to study His Word, to look into it to learn it myself. I didn't spend much time polishing my presentation, but felt led instead to just read and discuss the passage verse-by-verse. Then at the close of our time together, I shared the insights that the Holy Spirit had laid on my heart as I had been studying the passage.

The ladies asked questions. They shared their insights. They nodded in agreement. They thanked me for teaching.

As I drove away from the church building, I prayed thanking God for answering my prayers.

His Word was our common denominator. We all came with a desire to know it better to dig into it deeper. Our ages and backgrounds and life-experiences didn't matter as we opened the pages of our Bibles.

I want to be more like these ladies than I can express. To be walking with the Lord in such a way at such an age -to be still seeking and learning and growing in Him. After all, no matter our ages we are still on our own sanctification journey with our Lord. Until He calls each of us home or returns to take us there, He wants us to make these individual journeys together.

We will meet again next month and I can't wait!

Dear Sister Minister's Wife - I don't know the dynamics of the church you serve. But, by God's grace I pray you have the opportunity to really know the ladies of this generation in your congregation. I am thankful for these relationships I am making. I am thankful too that I can see God equipping me for serving this church family He has called us to. . .

I SO wanted to be a blessing to these ladies, but they are the ones who ended up blessing me!

The Prostitute and You

God went to great lengths to redeem one prostitute.

In my last post, I wrote about Rahab the Prostitute and how she never seemed to shed that title despite years of faithfully following her God, the God of the Israelites.

Chapter 2 of the book of Joshua contains the account of her interaction with spies. She confesses with her mouth her faith in the God of Jacob, Abraham and Moses. She helps and hides the spies. She ensures their safe return to their camp and then the chapter ends with her waiting with a scarlet chord tied in her window - the window of her home - oh yeah, that is located within the famous wall of Jericho.

Three chapters pass before we hear of Rahab again. Joshua had not forgotten her. Neither had the spies forgotten the oath they had made with her. But there was Someone else who hadn't forgotten her either. When the battle plans were laid out, special instructions were given -but that was before the wall fell . . .

There is no question how the wall fell. God knocked it down. In chapter 6, it says that the wall "fell down flat." Wait, what? But Rahab's house, the one with the window and the chord, was a part of the wall. Somehow, that section of the wall was not flat. The spies went back in and came out with not just Rahab but her whole family too. How? Idk . . . God.

The spies didn't save Rahab. God did. And by His instruction, Joshua saw to it that Jericho's only survivors were sparred.

I've studied her before and find myself researching her again as I prepare to lead a ladies' study at church on Friday morning. Despite my prior familiarity, God never ceases to show me new things in His Word when I study. This time has been no different.

The spies that Rahab hid on her roof were not crucial to the taking of the city of Jericho. They did not gain some intelligence that led to the falling of that crazy wall.

When he sent the two spies, maybe Joshua was remembering his own spy mission. In his youth when he and Caleb came back triumphantly ready to enter the Promised Land a generation before, their report was disregarded for the pessimistic account of their peers. Then the people were punished for their lack of faith. Now their children were ready to take possession of the same territory. Maybe Joshua was looking for a little validation and sent the spies to Jericho for his own reasons.

OR 

Maybe God Himself had prompted Joshua to send the spies because He knew of Rahab's faith and He knew He was going to miraculously redeem the pagan prostitute.

Maybe the spies, the hiding, the intrigue were all part of God's plan, not to take Jericho but to ensure that the life of a prostitute was spared.

His instructions to have them all, (women, children and even the old people), killed can seem unfair and harsh. Yet, God knew the heart of all of Jericho's citizens. He chose Rahab to spare. He wanted her.

In God's big plan, He had already picked Rahab to mother Boaz. He wanted HER influence on Boaz's boy, Obed, and all of Obed's sons, including a shepherd named David who would one day be King of all Israel.

In fact, God's big plan for Rahab was so big that this particular prostitute from Jericho would be in the very lineage of His own Son, Jesus.

It was her faithfulness in the everyday things that built and left this kind of legacy- not from the one time act of hiding a couple spies under the flax on her roof.

I'd say He redeemed Rahab in a big way. I'd say it was worth all the time and trouble for Him. He wanted her and He did what He had to so that she could be His . . .

I am thankful that He is still in the redeeming business today. He went to great lengths to make me His child too. Jesus tells us that the Good Shepherd will leave the 99 to get the 1.

Rahab and I have more common than one would think. I have part in God's bigger plan too. I hope my faithfulness in my every days leave a legacy that will point my children, grandchildren, my great-grandchildren and even beyond to walk in faith as well. . .

Dear Sister, dig into His Word. Let Him speak to you in it no matter how familiar you are with it. Rejoice in His redemption of you and thank Him for all He has done to complete it. Walk with Him faithfully all your days.

You might find you have a lot in common with a prostitute too . . .

Labels We Wear

Rahab, the Prostitute.

She is included in the Hebrews 11, "Hall of Faith," listed and commended for her faith. Yet, even there she is still labeled by her sin.

This has always bothered me. By her own words, she confesses that the God of Israel is THE God. She is included in the very lineage of Christ, yet, she almost always is remembered for her biggest sin.

Talk about a reputation to overcome.

Even though her faith had shown vividly where her loyalties were, I am sure she probably was still shunned by the Israelite community she joined. As far as the ratings of sins go, hers ranked pretty high. True, God sees all sin the same, but somehow, respectable folks are definitely more forgiving of some sins over others.

The Bible doesn't tell us about how Rahab felt about her label. It does tells us that she joined the Israelites and made her home with them. She converted. She left her pagan gods and sinful ways and followed the God she knew to be the One True God.

Maybe she resented being forever known as "the prostitute," or maybe she embraced it . . .

Through our weaknesses, our faults and our failures He is made strong. God shows off more of Himself in the places we would find least likely.

Think about it this way . . .

Every time Rahab was remembered as "the prostitute" her story was remembered as well.  She would not be mistaken for another woman of the same name - not confused for another woman named Rahab.

And what was exactly her story? God rescued the worst of the worst heathens from a pagan land, Jericho. He redeemed a foreign woman of no worth or morality and grafted her into the very ancestry of His own Son.

Rahab knew that the city and the land were the Lord's. She knew her past and her unworthiness. She knew she could do nothing to save herself - yet God did just that. He saved her life physically and spiritually.

The walls of Jericho, where she made her home, fell- yet she walked away unharmed.
Her son would marry Ruth and her great-grandson would be King David. Her legacy of faith would serve as evidence of her spiritual rebirth as well.

Every time Rahab is referred to as "the prostitute" God is glorified. What He did for her is remembered and we can't help but marvel at the goodness of our God.

We all have labels. We all have jobs and relationships and things we are known by. Some we may be pretty proud of. Others . . .  not so much. But each is an opportunity to allow others to see God's redemptive work in us.

How we mother our kids, speaks to the parent that God is to us.
How we support our spouse, displays the symbolic relationship Christ has with His Bride, The Church.
How we minister as a Sunday school teacher, small group leader, pastor's wife or simply a friend echos of how God has ministered to us as well.

Perhaps there are those in our lives that remember us from a harsh word, or a bitter exchange. Maybe there are those in our past that still define us by sins we struggled with a long time ago.

Regardless of our labels and all their connotations, let's live in a way that the mention of our name gives glory to God.

If I am to be Tara the Liar or Tara the Gossip - so be it, because the way I am now speaks to the redeeming nature of our God. That He would take one such as I to make His precious child. That He would pay the enormous price of His own Son's innocent blood to make me clean again. That He would somehow use my story and my labels to make Him famous and infamous at the same time.

While I do not share in Rahab's specific sin, my sin is as dark as hers nonetheless. I pray that I could leave a legacy like hers that my children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren would be known for their faith as well.

Whether the labels we wear are chosen by us or given to us, may we live in such a way that God is ultimately glorified no matter where or when or how we are mentioned or remembered.

Good Out of the Hard

Watching my grandmother wince with pain whenever she has the slightest cough is hard.

Seeing my family reconcile her mortality is heavy.

Facing the loss of someone very much loved just plain hurts.

There are seasons of life that are just plain hard, heavy and hurtful.

I don't know how people without Christ make it through.

Again, in my quiet time last weekend, God spoke to me through a writer for Desiring God on Instagram: "One day all the things that have caused you tears will seem as light and momentary afflictions" - Calley Sivils

The tears were still fresh on my face. The uncertainty of the past 24 hours was still stinging. I was still struggling with the load of all that could happen and will eventually happen -knowing that I needed to lay it at His feet. . . Nothing about what I was experiencing or feeling at that moment seemed "light" or "momentary."

Yet I was drawn to the Scripture passage referenced by her quote:

"For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison." 2 Corinthians 4:17

The image of a set of scales filled my mind with my current situation on one side and my future reality on the other. This side feels eternal and weighty now, but the passage says that it is light and momentary because it cannot be compared to the glory that is to come.

Besides, the affliction of today has a purpose. What we are facing today prepares FOR us the weight of glory that we are waiting for. I don't quite understand how all of that works, but I know it does.

How do I know that this verse is true? As I read this promise from 2 Corinthians and pictured the scales in my mind, the Holy Spirit comforted me with a wave of hope. It washed over me. The scales break under the weight of God's glory. I was reminded that the hope my grandmother has, and my family embraces cannot be measured against our current turmoil.

No matter how heavy or dark our current situation is, no matter how far away that light at the end of the tunnel may seem, no matter the bleakness of the diagnosis of the circumstances  - none of it can compare to what is come. Our faith will be made sight.

As I returned to Tennessee and my husband and daughters on Sunday, I sang through part of my collection of old Steven Curtis Chapman CDs. I remembered the circumstances surrounding the times of my life that those tunes were the soundtrack of my days. The truths of his lyrics still hold true today.

And I worshiped. When I called my mom to let her know I was back in the Volunteer State, my voice was even a little raspy.

The weekend was hard. It was draining and difficult. But . . . as I pressed into my God, as I turned my focus onto Him - He upheld me. He answered my prayers and I felt His presence.

Someone might say that I can only type these things because my grandmother lives and God answered my prayers the way I wanted.

Those things are true, but God also showed me that next time He may not, and that's okay.

He is with me when things are hard, heavy and hurtful.

He will not leave me alone. He keeps His promises.

He showed me that these things are also true.

I can trust that the suffocating things of today are light and momentary and incomparable to the eternity that is coming . . . .

Yes, my weekend changed with a phone call. It was not what I had planned or expected. It was hard.

But because my God is good. . .  It was too.

Good doesn't mean easy. Sometimes there is only a good that can be realized in the hard.

New Memories

As I drove the six hours over various interstates and highways, I was not sure if I'd make it in time. I did not know what I would find when my journey ended.

So many questions flooded my thoughts - none of which I could possibly know the answers to and each of which could lead my imagination to places I didn't want to go.

The word "Remember" came to mind from my devotion that morning as I struggled to take captive the thoughts that could so easily influence my weight on the gas pedal and my ability to adhere to other important traffic laws. (See my previous post.)

I was forced to accept my limitations. My eyes were fully opened to the MANY things of which I have no control over. My prayers confessed those truths as I pleaded for His will to be done and for His peace to abound, covering us all.

As I entered the hospital room to find my grandmother laying there with a barrage of monitors with all their wiring and tubes, once again I found my Heavenly Father faithful.

Into the night and over the next day, I learned of how God had indeed answered my prayers for peace. She told me of her near death experience and how she said "the Lord" had comforted her. She was no longer so afraid of the process of dying - that she knew that when her time did in fact come He had assured her that she wouldn't be alone.

I will treasure those conversations and moments of just sitting by her hospital bed. I will pass on the stories she told- not just of her youthful days but also of God's provision for her 89 years so far. I will also share how God showed me His presence in my uncertainty and how He is so much more than adequate and sufficient when I am completely powerless and incapable.

Yes, it's true that we learn much more about God in our dark places. When we are faced with our limitations and inadequacies, we are more likely to depend upon Him.

For me it was my inability to heal my grandmother or ease my mother's anxieties or to get there faster - For my grandmother it was facing full on her fear of dying (not of death, she's secure in her eternal salvation but the process of getting to her final destination is a real fear for all of us if we're honest.)

Friday, God brushed aside the distractions and demands of every day life to reveal the place He has always been to remind me that He will always be there.

As the sun set to my left on I-75 North in southwestern Ohio, I sang hymns and choruses to the One who wasn't answering my questions but was reminding me that He was with me. I wasn't alone in that car.

My grandmother isn't facing her mortality alone.

My mother and my aunt have His supernatural, raising-Jesus-from-the dead, strength to press on.

She is still with us and not physically with her Lord yet. We all know the grief of losing our matriarch is still creeping ever closer, more now than ever, and the awareness is keen. When that time does indeed come - I want to embrace those feelings knowing that God is with me in them.

When the pain pierces and interrupts the flow of my ordinary, mundane life I will remember when God gave me this past weekend - my time with her, yes of course,  but also how it all led to sweet time with Him. I learned more of His character, His faithfulness and His goodness.

Yes, I knew of those truths before the phone call came but by the end of the day I had first-hand experience of them.

All of us are either facing something now, or will be soon enough. None of us is immune to hard seasons. God is just teaching me to accept them through His grace, not to ignore them or wish them away. God is allowing them to grow me and make me long expectantly for the day when my faith has truly become sight.

I don't know what you may be facing, but I hope these words have brought reminders to you of His faithfulness and purposeful reliability. Our prayers confessing our short-comings and pleading for His presence will NOT be ignored. These are the cries He rushes to our side to answer. These are the moments in time where He gives us new memories of His goodness to us.

"Remember"

My weekend plans changed drastically with a phone call Friday morning.

In the middle of the discussion time I was leading for a MOPs group, it came.

The next hour or two became a blur of making contacts to cancel plans and packing clothes to accommodate several potential outcomes.

Hot tears fueled by "what-if" fears made concentrating hard, but as the odometer surely ticked the miles passing by, the still small voice of the One who knew what the day would hold long before I did,  simply seemed to say, "Remember."

Remember what? I knew instantly. In my quiet time that morning, I had been extolled to "Remember." That one word whispered to my soul was all I needed to put things into perspective.

I follow Desiring God on Instagram and that morning this is what I had read:

We complain because we forger. Take a moment and look back on God's fingerprints all over your life. . . 

• Remember how God has protected you from making shipwreck of your life. 
• Remember how God graciously let you grow up in a godly family. 
• Remember how God awakened you to the ugliness of your sin. 
• Remember how you walked away from that terrible car crash. 
• Remember hour your wife, sister or mom survived breast cancer. 
• Remember how you had mentors and key friends guide you in your faith.
• Remember how God sustained you during that season of unemployment.
• Remember how God miraculously healed you.
• Remember that impossible prayer request that God answered. 
• Remember how you had no money and an envelope just showed up in the mail with exactly the amount you needed. 
• Remember how the gospel cam alive as it never had before. 
• Remember God. 

The antidote to spiritual amnesia is making every effort to recall and remember God's gracious deliverance. The fact that you -a sinner who was an enemy of God- are now a beloved child is miracle. Don't let that wonder ever fade. Remember.

Let this act of remembering awaken in you joy in God and a deep sense of gratitude that God loves you, knows you, and keeps you."  -Steven Lee

Dear Sister, I don't know what you are facing, but I know you are either facing something, OR soon enough you will be. I don't have the answers for you, but I know the God who does. He has always been faithful - just as He was to me Friday -awakening me to this truth in the planned quiet of that particular morning and then again in the unforeseen chaos of that afternoon.

Make your own list and remember. Remember today. Remember later.

Remember.

My "How-To" for Intimacy With God

I am learning how to cook.

Don't get me wrong, I can follow a recipe. I can measure our ingredients and set timers. I have a subscription to "Southern Living" and at least three Pinterest boards dedicated to organizing my culinary dreams. I peruse my collection of Pioneer Woman cookbooks to find something new to try.

Yet, I often find myself intimidated to alter a published, proven recipe to make it my own. I appreciate the step-by-step instructions that "should" lead to proven success.

My husband is a great cook. As we watch the Food Network and the Cooking Chanel, he gleans ideas and methods to try and experiment with. He will see flavor combinations and want to try new things. He might consult a recipe or two, but he will concoct something on his own adding a dash of this with a bit of that. It is usually delicious.

I am afraid of messing it up. I don't want to waste the ingredients or the money spent on them. Plus, if the dish is a success, how will I ever know how to repeat it? The fear is real, but I am gaining confidence and and faith in myself as I am learning to overcome it.

Not only am I a recipe follower, I am also a list maker and a rule follower. I appreciate being able to cross things off my to-do list and to know exactly what is expected of me in any given situation. Whether it is a recipe, a list or a rule - I can respect the planning, the preparation and the procedure prescribed to bring about the desired result . . .

Intersect that with what God has been showing me this week - a calling to be intimate with Him.

I long for a method described in a book that will lead me to simply embrace being with Him, or at least accurately describes what that looks like for me. I know that these resources exist and I trust that by His good graces, He is already showing me points to start at and places to continue from.

However, intimacy with God is a deeply personal and individual journey - with a clear beginning and definite end. For all of us Christ-followers, our origin stories will have definitive similarities and our eventual destination is all the same. Yet, this middle part we are in now is as unique as our Creator-given DNA.

There is no proven recipe to follow.

There is no list that will produce the desired outcome.

There is no set of rules that will not preclude into legalism.

So, how do we learn to be with God instead of just doing things for Him?

I can't speak for you and your journey, but I can try to share what God is showing me for mine. .  .

First, He has impressed upon me a need to embrace quiet. I wrote about that in my first blog post of the week.

Then in the silences this week, He has impressed upon me a need to listen and to learn. When my attention is on Him, He shows me scriptures in a new light. He reveals ways to apply His truth. He allows me to experience more of who He is.

Specifically, as He has led me into a deeper intimacy with Him and I have loved it! It has been literally soul-gratifying and freeing.

What has this intimacy produced?

When I dump the distraction of lesser things and deny the demands of my hectic, fast passed life:  He has revealed to me my dependence on recipes for success. He has shown me my addiction to that feeling of accomplishment when I cross items off my to-do list. He has allowed me to see areas of my life where I have been striving to meet my own expectations of the rules I have set up for myself.

It is unsettling for me to not have a plan to pursue a deeper intimacy with God. Yes, I can put myself in places to hear from Him. I can practice spiritual disciplines, but I realize that it is only by His grace that these things I do will bring about the closeness that I desire.

It is honestly a little scary for me to forsake list making. However, I realize that in order to just "be" or "live" in the moment, I have to sacrifice my perceived need of getting the next thing done -because, let's face it, there is always a "next thing."

That small adrenaline rush of crossing off that item comes with a sense of personal accomplishment that can easily and temporarily replace that God-given thirst I have for Christ.

Only He can finish what He began in me. I can't follow the rules enough. I can't do enough good in His name. I can't be what I require of myself to serve Him. My attempts only fuel the dreaded to-do list. It is a vicious cycle ---

In the silence, God calls me to rest and to realize my identity in Him. It is in this intimacy, this realization that I can simply  -  be. with. God.

So, enough with the recipe. So much for the list. Goodbye rules - for now I am learning to trust, not in me, or what I do, but in Him and in Him alone.

I am learning how to be intimate with my God.

Dwelling in Intimacy

You really come to know and understand someone when you live with them.

Ask my college roommates. I promise there was a legitimate reason I had 4 roomies in my first 2 years of school.

Ask my husband. That first year of marriage is a real eye-opener to many couples.  I know it was for us.

Think about it, when someone comes to visit, we break out our best behavior, we fuss over the menu and we pull out all the stops to make sure everything looks the best.

But, when someone comes to stay, to move in and to live with you, you make some initial accommodations at first. Soon however the formalities fade and frictions arise as life falls into routines and normalcy. In the living together we really get to know each other. In the living together we can easily become complacent. In the living together the intimacy that drew us together at first can slowly slip away.

In John 1, we're told the Word became flesh to dwell among us. How better for us to learn and to know our God than for Him to live with us. The original language here gives the imagery of Christ pitching a tent in order to stay awhile. All this so we could do life together that we might have an unimaginable intimacy with our Creator.

In Romans 8, the same word is used by Paul to describe our relationship with God's Spirit. He dwells in us. We are His tent. . .

With God's Spirit dwelling within us, we have the best, the most incredible opportunity to know God. He is living in us, with us. We can pursue our relationship with God through the indwelling of the Spirit and grow in intimacy with God.

Yet, in the mundane, everyday tasks of life, I can easily become complacent. I take for granted that the Spirit of the Most High dwells within me. I relegate aspects of my life to Him and exclude Him from others. The first one I should go to with my problems and frustrations becomes the last.

In my efforts to be obedient and live out what I say I believe, I find myself doing things for God instead of living every aspect of my life with Him. Living like this, in my own effort, I become weary and tired. From outside appearances I seem to have it altogether, but inside I am overwhelmed and scared that someone will learn how weak and defeated I feel.

The relationship of my faith can quickly, easily slip into disfunction and it is all my own doing:

• It's so hard to believe and accept that Jesus loves me the way that I am. 
• I feel like I need to prove to be worthy of my salvation. 
• I want to be in control and determine what is best for me. 

The list of ways I continue to try to sabotage my relationship with my Lord could go on and on - yet when I stop striving and simply just start to be with Him - allowing Him dominion over every aspect of my life -no matter how ordinary and inconsequential that it may seem- intimacy can once again be restored. It is in these everyday, common place moments He teaches me the most, grows my faith and prepares me for whatever lies ahead. Through this intimacy I can learn more about my amazing God and accept who I am in relation to Him...

For me it is all about learning to dwell with God as He dwells within me. I want the intimacy that comes with the familiarity of living with Him. But, I don't want to take Him for granted.

Just like I want to have a growing, vibrant married relationship with the man I share a house with - I want that kind of intimacy with the Savior I gave my life to because He gave His life for me.

As I live with Him I will truly come to know God. As I dwell with my Lord in this life I will get a taste of the life to come (the restoration of when He dwelt with the first man and woman of His creation in the Garden) and to experience full life now as He promised (the realization of His incredible faithfulness to keep every singe one of His promises to me).

This is the intimacy I want -no I NEED, to dwell in...

Quiet Intimacy

Living in a house with three kids, there is rarely a moment's silence.

Even after bedtimes, the television drones, the washing machine moans and the dishwasher whirls. (I am thankful it doesn't whine! I hear enough of that without the inanimate objects joining in!)

I have found even in the rare moments that I find myself alone in the car, I struggle with the quiet. I turn the radio on -even if just to zone out to the sports talk station that my husband left on the dial.

When doing housework or even writing I appreciate some sort of background noise. It's true, at times it helps me focus on the task at hand. But, other times I must confess it serves as more of a distraction from a greater task that God may be impressing upon me.

What is that impression? I am learning it demands the ultimate focus and a willingness to delve into hard things- rolling up my sleeves, shedding some tears and facing fears.  In the quiet I find Him gently impressing me to press into Him.

I heard a great devotion this morning from a man serving as a biblical counselor with over 40 years experience as a pastor. He expanded for us the definition of the word "intimacy." In his counseling of married couples, he was finding many of them had intimacy issues that were far more challenging then what was transpiring in their bedrooms. In his research and study he had learned that real intimacy is knowing and being fully known by someone else. He said he was surprised to learn the lack of true intimacy within these marital relationships.

In Ephesians, Paul equates the martial relationship as a metaphor of Christ's relationship with us, His church. He calls this relationship a great mystery and so it is. This type of intimacy is the same type of relationship that God wants to establish with us, His children. - with me, His child.

Here's the thing that gets me - that is simply beyond my understanding. He already knows me. Psalm 139 says that in the first verse: He has searched me and He knows me. Before a word is even on my tongue, He knows it completely.

So where does this intimacy between God and I fall short? Where is the weak link?

The devotion this morning also included this thought - we are as close to God as we chose to be.

He doesn't fail to be intimate. I do.

Yes, I am busy. I would even say most of the time I am busy doing things for Him - but am I doing them with Him?

Far to easily my Bible study becomes merely one more thing on my to-do list. I breeze over the pages of my Bible without really comprehending what I read, much less stopping to try to apply it. My prayers become one-way conversations at best, but could probably be better described as a laundry list of wishes.

It is in the quiet - when I allow the quiet to invade my busy - that God gently calls me deeper. He is beckoning me to seek Him, to know Him more, to know Him more intimately. Honestly, many times I don't like the quiet. I don't really want to hear what He will tell me in His still small voice.

I know that if I accept that invitation to become more intimate with Him, His Spirit will expose more of me to me. Sins, failures, shames, insecurities, will be exposed in the Light of His Righteousness. Those things He wants to free me from, those things He already knows about -but in my distracted, noisy, busy lifestyle I try to push aside and gloss over and pretend that they don't exist.

It is SO much easier to be busy, to be distracted, to zone out - yet when I give into those temptations, I sacrifice the intimacy I was made to crave and that can only truly satisfy me.

He tells us to take up our cross and follow Him. An intimate relationship with Him is costly.

He tells us to seek Him first. An intimate relationship with Him cannot be realized without being willing to be vulnerable with our Creator.

He tells us that we are a new creation in Him. An intimate relationship with Him is how He is renewing us with His new mercies every morning.

For me, I striving to turn off the background noise -even the praise music that's on repeat, so I can hear the quiet. I am trying to really listen to what He is saying to me. I am confessing that I have resembled my teenaged daughter's tendency to be physically in a room but completely tuned out in every other capacity. I am praying to seek the intimacy that can only be found in my embracing the literal quiet.

Being still and knowing He is God is taking on a new meaning to me this week. I am hoping to share more of this journey with you as write . . . Please pray for me to embrace the quiet and grow intimacy with God. Please know that this is my prayer for you too. . .

Weird Love / Love Weird

No joke - I have tried to write this post no less than 3 times.

Each time I felt like I was getting somewhere and then I would stop and reread it and it just hasn't felt "right."

So I will try again to get my words to somehow convey all these thoughts and feelings pinging around my head . . .

If I am going to "Redeem Valentine's" and "Love Like Jesus in the Real World" (titles of my last 2 blog posts), I am going to have to "Love Weird."

After I posted on Wednesday morning, I went to a meeting where I was encouraged to really connect with the ladies in my small group and to love them in a way that may be new or strange or, yes, even weird to them. (God used the discussion and devotion to confirm what HE has already seemed to be speaking to my heart through those last two posts.)

We cannot expect the world around us to "get" Jesus' type of love unless we demonstrate it for them -in how we treat each other and in how we treat them. This self-sacrificing, putting others first with no pretense or desire for reciprocation, is NOT found anywhere else.

This type of love compels us to forgive when condemnation is expected. It is rare and it is weird.

This "weird love" is far from blind. It is not weak or pushed around. It doesn't excuse wrong but rather exposes it. It produces restoration and pursues renovation.

It is NOT what comes naturally to any of us as it is strictly supernatural in its basic, beautiful and most intricate characteristics. There is nothing to compare it to in an effort to explain or define it. It is weird.

God has given us relationships that even in their best, purest forms fail to consistently and accurately mimic this love. Paul called the marriage relationship "a great mystery" because of the way it strives to symbolize the love relationship between Christ and her bride, the church.

"Weird Love" is "all in." Doing the hard things. Risking the heartache. Being vulnerable. Exposing our own weaknesses. Crying and laughing and doing life together in a way the world cannot understand and can only describe with the word "weird."

Over this week, the Holy Spirit has been showing me places and areas of my life where I am only "half-in." It has been convicting and humbling. I find myself asking Him questions like: "How can I step it up?" and "Should I even really be serving in this capacity?" and "What would You have me to do in this situation?"

While He hasn't answered all my questions yet, He does have me seeking Him. I rejoice in the "weird love" He has given and is so lavishly giving me. I am learning about how He is transforming me with it and how, in turn, to give it to others - how to both accept "weird love" and to give "love weird" to others.

I don't want to be normal. I want to be "weird" and I am okay to be judged that way. Peter tells us we are to be aliens and strangers . . . I think I can handle being described as weird, especially if it is the result of loving weird...

So . . . here I am this morning, wanting and trying to write this post, and yet feeling like I am still lacking a clear direction or purpose for it. . . Maybe I should just scrap it altogether and wait until my next turn to blog . . . Maybe you can relate - not to my inability to organize my thoughts, but rather to this tension of how to respond to what God is impressing on your heart or maybe you can relate to this specific calling to love weird . . . .

Yet, I still feel like I should hit the "Publish" button and put at least some of my mishmash of thoughts, reflections and feelings out there into the world of the internet...

Loving Like Jesus in Real Life

I love carbs. 

I love dark chocolate and salted caramel. 

I love a good book and a strong cup of coffee.

I love my daughters. 

I love my husband. 

I love Jesus. 

The English verb "love" really has a variety of meanings. Obviously, I do not love pasta and bread the same way that I love my husband. I am thankful for the graces of being able to enjoy good candy and a good book, but those things pale in comparison to delighting in my Savior. 

When I list and look at the things I love I am filled with thanksgiving and appreciation to the Giver of all those gifts. And I find myself praying to love the Giver more than the gifts that He gives. He has pursued my heart and He deserves the praise and the obedience of it. 

What has He asked me to do? Who has He asked me to love? How am I supposed to fulfill that command?

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34-35

This is a pretty tall order. God isn't asking us, but rather telling us that if we are to be identified as His disciples we have to love one another like He does - self-sacrificing, forgiving, 1 Corinthians 13 - loving...

I am selfish. I hold grudges and my love is far from patient - and that is toward the "one anothers" I "love" the most. 

Then there are "one anothers" in my life who have hurt me. There are those that frustrate me. There are those that get under my skin and irritate me. I can't understand them. I disagree with them. I judge them and their actions.

(Notice just how self-centered I am?!)

So, how do we do it? How do we do what Jesus tells us to?

• POWER - We have the power of the Holy Spirit, living and working within us. Not of our own will, but by His might. What is impossible with man is possible with God. (Matthew 19:26)

• PRAYER - We have not because we've not asked for it. (John 16:24) Asking for God to intervene and love through us- that is the very kind of request He always answers with a resounding, "YES." It may not be easy, but He will enable us to do what He has told us to. 

• PERSPECTIVE -  Generalizations and stereotypes. Lack of faith and un-forgiveness. There are plenty of excuses we might acknowledge, or be innocently ignorant of, that we try to pass off as reasons for disobeying this command to love like Christ. Through the power of the Holy Spirit as we pray, God will soften our hearts and open our eyes to give us His perspective that we might see the individual as He does. Every "one another" we are called to love has a past, has present circumstances that we can't fully comprehend, and is valued by God in the same way we are. 

So, how does this play out in my life?

Prayerfully . . . 

I will seek my teen daughter's perspective as we discuss her grades and cell phone use. I will pray for God's direction to guide our decisions regarding our relationship with her. I will trust that the Holy Spirit will empower us to make hard decisions and to stick with the boundaries we have set for her. I will love her like Jesus does. 

I will try to understand "that" group within the church that seems to always be making waves. I will pray for them and for the church. I will pray seeking forgiveness and that no root of bitterness will be allowed to grow. I will trust that God's word is true and that He is somehow working all things for our good and His glory. I will love them like Jesus does. 

I will acknowledge that I do not truly know my fellow driver on the road, nor do I know their destination or departure point. I cannot know what kind of day they are having. I will pray for patience and grace to extend to them from within the confines of my seatbelt. I will trust that God is using His power within this opportunity to make me more like Jesus. I will love them like Jesus does.

These are just a few examples of how Jesus-type love can be enacted within my life. What about yours? What does it look like to love like Jesus in your real life? 

Redeeming Valentine's

I know I am a little early to post this, but maybe early is good . . .

Valentine's Day is next week.

Our local Walmart has AISLES of stuffed animals (some bigger than my 4 year old!), chocolates in various sized heart shaped boxes and tons of cartoon character themed cards.

The holiday has become very commercialized and it is SO easy to become cynical about all the hype. But before we write off St Valentine and all that goes with him, let's take a look at the holiday as God-sent opportunity.

Like all holidays, Valentine's Day gives us an opportunity to reflect.

Our culture chooses to use this holiday to highlight one specific definition of love, a romantic love. Yet, as Christians we are called to be counter-culture. 

• As Christians we have a deeper definition of love. 
• As Christians we have experienced a love that is deeper, richer, greater than any other kind of love that could be celebrated. 
• As Christians we are the recipients of God's most amazing love - and that is something that is definitely worth celebrating.

The preschool where I work hosts "Jesus Loves Me" parties on the program day closest to the 14th. We are intentional to use this holiday to teach the children that Jesus loves them and that He loves them more than anything they can imagine. I tell these little ones that God loves them much more than I do and even much more than their parents. 

As a parent, when I am loving my kids the way the Bible tells me I should, I get a glimpse into how much my Heavenly Father loves me. Yes, I am modeling for them how God loves them and takes care of them, but I find that He is also patiently, lovingly teaching me. He shows me how He feels toward me, how He loves me. I can understand a little more of this love for me because of the love He has given me for my children. 

As a mother of daughters, I want my girls to know that their worth will never be found in any man or his opinion of her. However, I want them to celebrate and appreciate that God has and does and will continue to love them with an amazing love that provides all the fulfillment that they will ever need. 

Valentine's Day gives us the opportunity to remember.

Maybe this would be a good weekend to observe the sacrament of the Lord's Supper, reflecting on that great love that God has for us and how He demonstrated that love for us through the gift and death of His Son, Jesus.

Maybe this would be a good time to study 1 Corinthians 13 and/or the book of 1 John. 

Maybe we should dust off an old concordance or set aside time to explore that new Bible app to do some searching for more information on God's love for His people.

Maybe we could google St. Valentine and learn the actual history of the holiday. 

Maybe it is a good thing that we are looking at "love" the week before the holiday so we can be intentional to use it to grow spiritually and to glorify God in the process. 

Share Valentines. Eat special or fancy dinners. Decorate the house or front door. Do something kind for a neighbor - do whatever you do, but do it in a way that you talk about and remember God's definition of love. 

How I Am Celebrating This Year

Every year, during the Christmas season, I attempt to experience the "old" story of Christ's birth in a "new" way.

During Decembers that I was pregnant, I easily identified and marveled at Mary's role in the unfolding of God's plan. In some years, the shepherds seemed to stand out a little more, while in others the whole, sleepy, unsuspecting town of Bethlehem seemed to speak to how God could be (and is) working all around me and I would be missing it - completely unaware of what amazing things He is doing.

Every December, as a family we gather in our living room around a small advent wreath each Sunday evening leading up to and including Christmas morning. Our girls call this time "Candlelight Christmas" as we light a corresponding candle for our themed focus. We've done this over the years to try and keep the girls' focus on Jesus instead of gifts, Santa or parties.

As I mentioned in my prior post, knowing that my personal Christmases of the past few years have just grown so overwhelmingly busy and even chaotic, I wanted to make sure that this year I was able to meaningfully experience and celebrate a joyful, Christ-centered Christmas season.

Little did I realize the spiritual battle I was entering into . . .

Of course Satan IS trying to distract me with all the familiar temptations - expectation, worry, stress, busyness. . .

I am attempting to battle back with prayer, worship and scripture.

In my prayers, I am confessing that I am not able to do this. I am asking that God will help me to discern and accomplish what is really important. I am thanking Him that He is growing me and teaching me more about Him in and through all this craziness.

My worship has been enriched with some new-to-me Christmas WORSHIP songs this season. Don't get me wrong, there is a TON of solid, worship-filled, rich-in-meaning classics out there that I cherish - but this year, He is speaking to me by teaching me some new ones. I downloaded Chris Tomlin's "Adore: Christmas Song of Worship (Live)" and I cannot get enough of this album. Tomlin did not include "Jingle Bells" or "White Christmas" so a trip to the mall or the grocery has transformed into impromptu worship services on my way to wherever I am headed.

If God has taught me anything in 2017, it truly has been the overwhelming truth that His Word is powerful, transforming and needed. The 10-15 minute devotional time I am spending in the mornings has been encouraging and essential for combating and resisting the very real temptations of giving in to the whole idea of wishing this entire month away.

I just "happened" to stumble upon the advent devotional book I am using: "Unwrapping the Names of Jesus" by Asheritah Ciuciu. It is not wordy or long but it is solid. Not only has she provided the basis for our "Candlelight Christmas" devotionals, but the daily readings have given intentionality for my spiritual focus this December. Each day I am taking a look at a different name Jesus was either given or gave when He was telling us who He is.

As a result of the prayers, the praise and the powerful Word of God, this Christmas season I am learning and realizing more and more the amazing gift God has given us in His Son. The worship songs urge me to "Adore" the newborn king. My focus this advent has become Jesus Himself - not the people or the prophecies around His birth story - but He, Himself.

Last night on my drive between my local Walmart and my daughter's dance lesson, I found myself wiping tears of joy off my cheeks. The Holy Spirit was answering my prayers. God was giving me more of Himself to experience and my heart was overwhelmed - not by stress or worry- but by the amazing gift He gave of Himself.

There, on Madison Street, He broke through the noise and the busy. He met me where I was and I am not the same, neither is the rest of my holiday season. I am not saying that everything is done and I have it all completely under control or together or tied up with a bright, red bow...  But I have been given the gift of His presence, here with me, and I claim His joy through it all.

What ARE We Celebrating?

"What are we celebrating?"

I ask this question over and over again to my daughters, to my preschoolers and teenagers at church AND to myself . . .

The struggle is real and the spiritual battle is on. . . . .

The weekend after Thanksgiving I watched a couple Christmas specials with my kiddos. Neither mentioned Jesus, but both were centered around the idea of celebrating something.

The first was a VERY familiar, "older' cartoon where a certain green goblin attempts to rob the town of their Christmas by stealing all the things the people would use to acknowledge the holiday. He even nabs the "roast-beast!"

The people, without all the trappings, still gather and sing proclaiming that the reason of their holiday can be found within as they stand "heart-to-heart and hand-in-hand." They celebrate the love they have for each other and the "higher" ideals beyond the gift giving and receiving. The Grinch is SO touched that his heart "grows," his crimes against the townspeople are forgotten, and he is given a position of honor as he carves the before mentioned roast beast.

The second "Christmas" cartoon special was this particular franchise's holiday premier. It had some funny moments, but overall, I was not too impressed. The plot consisted of one group of characters trying to invent a holiday for the other group of characters to celebrate. Most of their ideas were pretty frivolous and downright cheesy when the second group realizes that they should celebrate their friendship with the first group. What could be better to celebrate than good friends?

As a Christian, I sat there almost dumbfounded at how confused and blinded the world is. If they take Christ out of Christmas then the holiday celebrates friends or family or tradition or good deeds. Our culture talks of the Christmas spirit, but they mean anything but the Spirit of Christ. Since they don't know the true Spirit of Christmas, then how can they celebrate it?

So I began to think about how I celebrate the coming of the Christ child. Before too long, I began to feel convicted. If someone followed me around or, worse yet, could hear the dialogue within my mind, could they tell any significant difference in how I acknowledge the season than someone who doesn't profess Christ?

My to-do list is seemingly endless. My calendar overwhelmed. My mind fried from trying to remember who is supposed to be where bringing what with them when. Confused? Yeah, me too!

Here, we have the BEST reason ever to celebrate - God has come to live among His creation, but even the most faithful among us can get easily swept into all the festivities that we can become separated from what we were intending to commemorate in the first place.

Like a parent that becomes separated from her child in a large crowd, assuming that he was with her all along, she turns to find him missing but has no idea how long he's been gone. Despite my best efforts - including buying and reading a daily advent devotional along with planning ahead as much as I can- this mother's desperation to hold on to and find her child could pretty accurately describe me at some various points on any given day this December.

Should I make our celebrations more simple? Should I practice saying "no" over and over again? Should I delegate some responsibilities to others?

Yes, probably . . . but I don't want to disappoint anyone. What if I let someone down?

Then it dawned on me. This struggle is not merely an internal one, but I am in a very real spiritual battle. If Satan can hide the true reason we are celebrating among all the tinsel and all the trappings -of course he would. If he can conceal the real reasons Christ's birth was SO spectacular to even those who tout the slogan "Keep Christ in Christmas!," why wouldn't he? Like a "Where's Waldo?" illustration, even the "good" Christmas sentiments pale in comparison and others are revealed for the folly they contain.

I don't have any step-by-step advice or even practical tips for keeping the "main thing the main thing." Honestly, I don't think I can add any more to my plate right now. I am definitely not looking for a quick fix - but.... how do you remind yourself what you are celebrating?

This Christmas I am learning and leaning... I am learning to stop and be in awe of Christmas by trying to really look for Christ AND I am leaning on Christ to keep up with this frantic pace, trusting Him with the dawn of each new day to be in the details and provide like only He can.

I wanted to grow spiritually this holy season. I just never imagined the lessons that God would teach me would begin with two secular, animated, 30 minute shows on TV. I guess it just goes to show that God can use all this frivolous stuff to still point us to Him. . . Like Waldo on the page, we can still find and acknowledge exactly what we should be celebrating this Christmas.