Last weekend I assisted with a “Young in the Ministry” Retreat for pastors and their wives who have been in the ministry for three years or less. This is the second retreat of this kind that the Tennessee Baptist Convention has hosted. I cannot tell you how needed these retreats are for these young in the ministry couples.
At the retreat the couples receive beneficial information from retirement to help in managing a church. Our team allows the couples to ask questions which a panel of “seasoned” ministers answers. Our goal is to encourage these couples as they begin the journey in ministry.
However, I notice the wives. I wonder how they are truly managing the new church. Some of the couples are fresh on the field. They left behind the secular jobs to follow God’s calling. Some are fresh out of school and in their first ministry position. Either way, the wives have major adjustments and a range of emotions. I will be the first to say that after 31 years of marriage to a minister I still do not have it all figured out and still have questions.
Girlfriends, we do not have to suffer in silence. We can find people who can answer some of the questions. This website is meant to provide encouragement as well as answer questions. If we do not have the answers, we can certainly share our experience or find someone who can answer them. I love being a minister’s wife because of the great adventures God takes us on, however, I find at times I just want to quit.
The bible tells us to share one another’s burdens and to encourage one another. Girls, grab a piece of dark chocolate and please take a moment to share with our team of blog writers your burdens, joys, frustrations, and celebrations. You do not have to sign your name or church. Your experience may even help or encourage another minister’s wife out there in cyberspace.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
God Hugged Me
Sometimes life presents challenges for all ministers wives. We have to deal with crisis at church, family issues, workplace stress, and criticism of all forms. I do not know about you but sometimes I just want to go away to a safe, quiet place with no people (oh, there will be a good book and some chocolate).
I have had a few weeks of “issues” that kept growing. Stress was piling up. I could not pray because I did not know what to pray. I really did not have anyone I could talk to because I did not want to burden someone else with my problems. Everyone thinks the minister’s wife should always have a smile on her face, however, sometimes it is just plain hard to even fake it.
Well, God must have realized that I had reached a breaking point. Honestly, girlfriends, I was just so weary and battle worn. The truth is the “issues” were just silly, stupid church stuff but as you know things can pile up on us.
Anyway, God hugged me in a big way. What was special about this hug is that it came in an unexpected way. He let me know everything was okay. I was not a failure. He assured me of His presence and brought comfort and peace. Ladies, if you have ever experienced a hug from God then you understand what I am talking about. It was just awesome.
So girlfriends, if life is happening around you and you are reaching a breaking point, ask God to come down and give you a hug.
By the way, if you have been hugged by the Father, let me hear about your experience. These times shared make us grow stronger. Be blessed!
I have had a few weeks of “issues” that kept growing. Stress was piling up. I could not pray because I did not know what to pray. I really did not have anyone I could talk to because I did not want to burden someone else with my problems. Everyone thinks the minister’s wife should always have a smile on her face, however, sometimes it is just plain hard to even fake it.
Well, God must have realized that I had reached a breaking point. Honestly, girlfriends, I was just so weary and battle worn. The truth is the “issues” were just silly, stupid church stuff but as you know things can pile up on us.
Anyway, God hugged me in a big way. What was special about this hug is that it came in an unexpected way. He let me know everything was okay. I was not a failure. He assured me of His presence and brought comfort and peace. Ladies, if you have ever experienced a hug from God then you understand what I am talking about. It was just awesome.
So girlfriends, if life is happening around you and you are reaching a breaking point, ask God to come down and give you a hug.
By the way, if you have been hugged by the Father, let me hear about your experience. These times shared make us grow stronger. Be blessed!
Monday, January 18, 2010
Thanking God Before Hand
Well, I learned something new this week. While doing my quiet time, I read, “If you keep stating your concerns to Me, you will live in a state of tension” (Jesus Speaks by Sarah Young). All I could do when I read that statement was say “wow.” Maybe you girls are not as simple minded as I am. Sometimes my blonde roots really hinder my comprehension or maybe it is my chocolate induced state of bliss. However, I can read the same Bible passage a million times. Then suddenly, it finally sinks in.
Here is what I feel this statement is saying to me. I have been praying earnestly for a particular prayer request. I keep bringing that need before God everyday and every night. I am quite sure He is growing very weary of my repetition and pleading. In addition, I keep finding myself wondering when the answer will come.
After reading this simple truth, I decided that I will thank God for the answer He is going to provide. Now, it has been three days since I have started this process and no answer has come. However, I will keep on thanking Him because He does know what is best in this particular situation.
Girlfriends, have you thanked the Father for the answer He will provide for your prayer concern?
Here is what I feel this statement is saying to me. I have been praying earnestly for a particular prayer request. I keep bringing that need before God everyday and every night. I am quite sure He is growing very weary of my repetition and pleading. In addition, I keep finding myself wondering when the answer will come.
After reading this simple truth, I decided that I will thank God for the answer He is going to provide. Now, it has been three days since I have started this process and no answer has come. However, I will keep on thanking Him because He does know what is best in this particular situation.
Girlfriends, have you thanked the Father for the answer He will provide for your prayer concern?
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Resentment Builders
As I travel and share with many of you, I have found that there is often a common thread among the wives of minsters. At one time or another we enter a time of resentment. It can be a very short time or it can last a lifetime. A minister's wife has plenty to give, but saying one thing and feeling another will get you in emotional trouble.
I am going to share with you a few suggestions that will help you avoid those energy draining resentment builders. I gleaned these from a book called, "The Private Life of the Minister's Wife". My sweet husband gave it to me our first year of marriage.
Resentment Builders to Avoid
1. Being a message deliverer, thinking you are responsible for seeing that your husband does what is asked of him.
2. Always explaining your husband's or your own point of view as if it needed defending.
3. Being apologetic for your use of time or money.
4. Trying to fit into a mold others have made and always seeming not to measure up.
5. Listening to people who do not have or have not had your particular problem.
6. Expecting you to do (perform) before there has been time to find God's place for you.
7. Not making time for yourself.
These ideas are not a cure all, but they will help as you walk through your day. Take time to evaluate where you are. Allow God to teach and guide you. He has the perfect plan for you.
I am going to share with you a few suggestions that will help you avoid those energy draining resentment builders. I gleaned these from a book called, "The Private Life of the Minister's Wife". My sweet husband gave it to me our first year of marriage.
Resentment Builders to Avoid
1. Being a message deliverer, thinking you are responsible for seeing that your husband does what is asked of him.
2. Always explaining your husband's or your own point of view as if it needed defending.
3. Being apologetic for your use of time or money.
4. Trying to fit into a mold others have made and always seeming not to measure up.
5. Listening to people who do not have or have not had your particular problem.
6. Expecting you to do (perform) before there has been time to find God's place for you.
7. Not making time for yourself.
These ideas are not a cure all, but they will help as you walk through your day. Take time to evaluate where you are. Allow God to teach and guide you. He has the perfect plan for you.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
God's Grace
I am sure that as a minister's wife you know your salvation is a grace gift. You probably have the scripture in Ephesians 2:8 memorized. "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast."
I wonder if you are aware that God's grace is also available for your service to Him? In the middle of every challenge and difficult circumstance God gifts us with what we need to be bold, love and have self discipline.
Jesus continually taught the disciples the importance of loving those He came to save. Each person matters to our God and we have the privilege allowing Him to love them through us. In fact, we fall in love with our God and prove our love to our God as we love those He places in our lives. Not always easy, but always, worth it!
As those difficult people show up in your day, remember they need God's grace. You are the vessel that can show that grace. Are you thinking, it is too hard? Maybe, I haven't met that person that continues to criticize you or trip you up.
Remember what we are taught in II Corinthians 12:9-10 "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in your weakness."
Look for ways to show God's grace to those around you today.
I wonder if you are aware that God's grace is also available for your service to Him? In the middle of every challenge and difficult circumstance God gifts us with what we need to be bold, love and have self discipline.
Jesus continually taught the disciples the importance of loving those He came to save. Each person matters to our God and we have the privilege allowing Him to love them through us. In fact, we fall in love with our God and prove our love to our God as we love those He places in our lives. Not always easy, but always, worth it!
As those difficult people show up in your day, remember they need God's grace. You are the vessel that can show that grace. Are you thinking, it is too hard? Maybe, I haven't met that person that continues to criticize you or trip you up.
Remember what we are taught in II Corinthians 12:9-10 "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in your weakness."
Look for ways to show God's grace to those around you today.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Being Aaron for My Moses
What is it that you want to be different this year? Are you ready to start fresh and new? Are you excited or already defeated?
I thought about the many resolutions I have made through the years. Believe it or not, there were some successes and of course, many do-overs!
As minister wives you have many things to consider as you begin another year of service with your husband. There are things you can do to bring joy and delight into your home and ministry and things that we all do that make it more difficult.
I would like to challenge you this year with a goal of Godly support for your husband. In Exodus 17:12 we see Moses needing the support of Aaron and Hur. In fact, without their support the entire nation would be defeated.
"When Moses' hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up-one on one side, one on the other-so that his hands remained steady till sunset."
I do not have to tell you that along with the rewards of ministry there are also many difficulties. Sometimes these struggles just wear us out! Our husbands are no exceptions and in fact, they often hear many more criticisms than encouraging words.
I want to challenge you to "hold up their arms" this year. Let them know that you are there for them. Let me give you a couple Aaron suggestions.
1. Pray for him. Be his intercessor.
2. Listen to him. Let him express himself without interruption.
3. Compliment him. Tell him what you love about him. Point out strengths.
4. Respect him. This is your husband's #1 need.
5. Meet his physical needs. Good meals, exercise with him and love him up!
6. Give him some alone time. Allow him to relax at home.
7. Again ... PRAY! PRAY! PRAY!
These are just a few. Ask God to show you what your husband needs in order to further God's kingdom's work and then jump in and join him.
I thought about the many resolutions I have made through the years. Believe it or not, there were some successes and of course, many do-overs!
As minister wives you have many things to consider as you begin another year of service with your husband. There are things you can do to bring joy and delight into your home and ministry and things that we all do that make it more difficult.
I would like to challenge you this year with a goal of Godly support for your husband. In Exodus 17:12 we see Moses needing the support of Aaron and Hur. In fact, without their support the entire nation would be defeated.
"When Moses' hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up-one on one side, one on the other-so that his hands remained steady till sunset."
I do not have to tell you that along with the rewards of ministry there are also many difficulties. Sometimes these struggles just wear us out! Our husbands are no exceptions and in fact, they often hear many more criticisms than encouraging words.
I want to challenge you to "hold up their arms" this year. Let them know that you are there for them. Let me give you a couple Aaron suggestions.
1. Pray for him. Be his intercessor.
2. Listen to him. Let him express himself without interruption.
3. Compliment him. Tell him what you love about him. Point out strengths.
4. Respect him. This is your husband's #1 need.
5. Meet his physical needs. Good meals, exercise with him and love him up!
6. Give him some alone time. Allow him to relax at home.
7. Again ... PRAY! PRAY! PRAY!
These are just a few. Ask God to show you what your husband needs in order to further God's kingdom's work and then jump in and join him.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Starting Over . . . Again
Okay, it is New Years Day again. It is a brand new year-2010. It is time for brand new resolutions once again. I think it is great that we get to start all over . . . again.
Here are a few of my resolutions:
*Be a better friend, daughter, mother, wife
*Look for the best in people
*Remember God’s promises
*Try to eat healthier . . .again
*Try to cut down on caffeine and chocolate . . .again
*Exercise more
Just think about it a minute. Starting over . . . again. I put emphasis on the word again because I look at it as a promise. Sure we all fail but we have a God who wipes the slate clean when we come before him and confess our sins. He allows us the privilege to start over with a fresh beginning again.
Isn’t that an awesome thought! The Father gives me a channe to start each day with renewed strength. He never fails to love me when I fail Him. He never leaves me alone for He is always with me. He always lifts me up and encourages me. I think the Father lovingly says, “Let’s start over today . . .again.”
Here are a few of my resolutions:
*Be a better friend, daughter, mother, wife
*Look for the best in people
*Remember God’s promises
*Try to eat healthier . . .again
*Try to cut down on caffeine and chocolate . . .again
*Exercise more
Just think about it a minute. Starting over . . . again. I put emphasis on the word again because I look at it as a promise. Sure we all fail but we have a God who wipes the slate clean when we come before him and confess our sins. He allows us the privilege to start over with a fresh beginning again.
Isn’t that an awesome thought! The Father gives me a channe to start each day with renewed strength. He never fails to love me when I fail Him. He never leaves me alone for He is always with me. He always lifts me up and encourages me. I think the Father lovingly says, “Let’s start over today . . .again.”
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)