RAK

Who have you recently done a Random Act of Kindness (RAK) for lately? One of my favorite RAKS recently came from a friend who was going through a struggle herself. What do you think she gave me? Yes, a gift bag overflowing with chocolate! A RAK does not have to be anything major like giving money to a stranger or providing a meal for someone who is sick. It can be a simple gesture.


For example, I was out running errands in our community. I was trying to get things done in a hurry because I had so much to do back at the house. For one thing God had been nudging me to write a note of encouragement to a couple of people in our church, and I did not want to let the day pass without doing so.


I quickly ran in Bed, Bath, and Beyond to grab a couple of items. I am a big coupon person so I was loaded with my discount store coupons. While heading to the cashier, a lady stopped me and asked if I knew if the store would allow the use of more than one discount coupon. When I explained to her that she could use more if needed, she told me she was going to put her items away and go back home for her coupons. Not thinking I gave her two of my coupons and started to walk away. Instead she went on to tell me how kind I was, that I had made her day, and that she was going to bless someone with her coupons too.


As I walked out of the store God seemed to tap my brain and let me see that what I had done without thinking was a simple RAK. It did not cost me anything-no money or time. I was the one who truly received the blessing because God reminded me of all the people who had done RAKS to me.


So again sisters, what kind of RAK have you done for someone lately? Better still, has a RAK been done for you? Share with us.

By Waiting . . .

One way that I continue to be submissive to my husband is through waiting.

I learned in the early years of our marriage that Wally does things on his own timetable. Whether he needs to cut his hair or the grass, he will get it done when he is good and ready. I might need to buy a bigger bottle of shampoo in the meantime, but he will eventually submit to the barber's shears and drop the $15 or so. The backyard may look to everyone else that we've been on vacation for 6 weeks, but I will make the pitcher of sweet tea when he cranks the push mower up and begins to mow.

My husband is a "big boy." He has one momma, and I sure don't want to take her place. The last thing Wally needs is me telling him what I think he ought to do. Yes, mowing the lawn and getting his hair cut are two pretty minor issues. But, he needs to know that I trust him with those small responsibilities. It is through those "petty" concerns that he can take confidence in knowing that I have his back in the bigger ones.

Yes, he seeks my opinions on bigger things, but I really believe it is because I don't nag him on the smaller ones. I respect his capabilities by regarding him as an adult - not another one of the kids. It is through these little, every day interactions I show that respect. I submit to his leadership. I submit to him and, by doing so, I submit to God.

So whether it takes him a month to mow the grass or six month to call the roofers. I will wait on him to take the lead, trusting God to lead and direct him. Afterall, that is God's job, not mine!

Who's the Boss?

When I was a kid, I loved watching Alyssa Milano, Tony Danza and Judith Light in that sitcom, "Who's the Boss?". The show revolved around the antics of a professional single mom and the single dad housekeeper who comes to live under her roof with her and her young son. The show's humor played up the twist on the gender role reversal as she left each day for the office and he stayed home seeing to the children and the chores.

Growing up, my mom ran most everything around our house. Dad was responsible for the lawn being mowed and maintaining the family's two vehicles. As this was my experience, I naively believed that this was how every family functioned. When I married, I learned that was not the case.

You see, my in-laws did a fantastic job raising my husband. Ladies, try not to be jealous! He cooks, he cleans and he takes great care of the kids. Wally doesn't look at the things that need to be done and classify them as his job, or my job, but our jobs. The responsibilities need to be taken care of. In his eyes, what does it matter if I do them or you do, just as long as they get done?

When we first married, I didn't know how to handle this. You may be thinking that I was nuts, but I did have a really hard time. Looking inside I realized that my issue here was one of control. I had to let go of it.

It wasn't that Wally didn't think I could cook, or he didn't appreciate my ironing. It wasn't that he loaded the dishwasher wrong or vacuumed the carpets weird. I wanted to be in charge.

One way that I have learned to submit to Wally, is by letting him do things, not for me, but for us, our family. This is one way that I submit to his leadership. I try to let him be the man around the house that God has called him to be.

Are you letting your man be that man?

Letting Him Lead

Being submissive is not something that comes easy to any woman. In fact, our desire to rule over men (and generally to try to be in control of everything) goes all the way back to the Garden of Eden. Take a look and you will see that all this frustration is apart of the curse!

Yet, we know that the Bible clearly directs us as wives to respect our husbands and be submissive to his leadership (Eph. 5). Our society has some very clear ideas about this being archaic and totally unrealistic or fair. Hopefully, God has shown you how very valuable and worthwhile His instruction is on the matter. We know that our ideals and standards are different for us as Christians than the world's expectations.

That said, it is of the utmost important that our marriages (and our role as wives) model what Paul is talking about when he gives instructions to wives. Please note that I am singling us out as Christian wives not as ministers' wives.

So, what does submission look like in your marriage relationship? What are some ways that you are submissive to your husband? How do you do what you know you need to, even when your heart isn't in it?

Please take a moment and post an idea or two. It may be just what one of your sisters need to read!

The Rest of the Story

OK, Lana....you asked....here is the rest of the story!!

The morning after the wedding where the bride was "bared by the breeze", my maid of honor and some of my other friends were at the same store where I purchased my dress (and who was the guilty party responsible for the "switch"). The girls were trying on bridesmaids dresses for another upcoming wedding. While they were in the dressing room they overheard the employees talking about the terrible, horrible, no good catastrophe that happened the night before....the wrong dress was delivered to a wedding and now they must find a way to quickly get it to the photo shoot scheduled for later that day and retrieve the wrong dress that was delivered there. My friends commented to each other how tragic that was....having no idea they were referring to my dress!!

Later that day I arrive to get my bridal portrait done and wondered why it seemed to be a little out of shape?? And somewhat dirty?? Not knowing what to do, I went forward with the shoot not knowing that my dress was "used". My maid of honor, Carol, and my mom were with me and Carol reflected back on the conversation at the store that morning. After putting two and two together and conferring with my mother, they realized what could have happened. We confronted the store and asked what happened. Initially, they denied any wrong doing but later admitted their mistake.

Since my portrait did not turn out very well....what with a stretched out, dirty gown and all, the store paid for me to get new ones done and ordered me a new dress to wear in my wedding!! So, I wore a beautiful, new wedding dress.

All that to say....ladies, no matter if you wore a new wedding dress or a "used" dress, or one that did not fit, or never had one at all....whether you are single or widowed...if you are a Christ follower you ARE the bride of Christ and you will stand before the King of Kings as His bride dressed in beautiful robes of His righteousness!!! He claims you as His bride!! Rejoice!!! You are beautiful!! You are the bride, the wife of the Lamb...be loved.

Bride Bared By Breeze

I have been reflecting not only on the past 35 years of our marriage, but also of the wedding and the festivities around it. My beautiful wedding dress appeared on the cover of Bride Magazine that summer of 1975 and I purchased it at a well renowned store in Dallas who offered the service of storing the dress and delivering it to both the bridal portrait session and the wedding so we did not have to worry about where to hang it, cart it around, etc. Bad idea!!

The Dallas Morning News’ article was entitled, “Bride Bared by Breeze”. This highly reputable store accidently delivered my size 4 (yes, I used to be little) wedding dress to the wedding location of a size 12 bride instead of to where I was to get my wedding portrait done!!!

The article went on to say that the mistake was discovered too late for the bride to do anything but to wear the dress. She was able to get it on….but she was not able to zip it up. No worries though because her veil covered up what the dress did not. That is….until….as she walked down the aisle, the Dallas summer weather stirred up a breeze which “bared” the bride!

It is hard for me to imagine how that bride must have felt, but….you know….if you and I are not careful, we will try to fit into someone else’s mold or expectations or even someone we want to be…and it just does not fit!! You know scripture teaches that we have been created by the Potter for His purposes…why in the world do we want to squeeze into something that never was intended to fit us? Stop doing or being what you know God did not design you to do or be!!

Be You and Love It!

Thirty five years ago this month I walked down the aisle and married the man of my dreams!! I had no idea what I was getting in to….all I knew was that I loved this Godly, silly man and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I wish I had a picture from that day to show you....they are all boxed up waiting for us to sell our house and move our stuff....so instead I am putting this silly picture Lana Rose took at the Secretaries Conference!!

Certainly I did not know he would one day be a pastor….which would mean one day I would be a pastor’s wife!! If that were the case…..I am pretty I would have had to think twice about marrying him!!! You see, I did not know any pastor’s wives at that time….I had never gone to church growing up and I did not know the wife of the pastor at the church I was going to. But what little I did know….I knew there would be NO way I’d ever be a pastor’s wife!! Never!

Ernie told me about five or six years into our marriage that he thought God was calling him to pastor….which would make me a pastor's wife!! I had major conversations with God telling Him He could NOT let this happen!!! By that time I actually knew two pastor’s wives….but I was nothing like either one of them!! Nothing! There was NO way I could be them!

I will never forget how God sweetly came to me and said, “Dana, I am not asking you to be like them….I am asking you to be you!” Oh, how freeing that was!! All God was asking me to be is me???

I don’t know if you are struggling with the “role” of being the pastor’s wife….or if you are fulfilling a dream you have had ever since you were a little girl, but let me tell you my friend….all God is asking is that you be you!! Not be like the other staff wives or other pastor's wives you know. Be you and love it!!