No Christmas Presents

Perhaps, like me, you have heard over the years about the many families who won’t “have Christmas” because finances won’t permit the purchasing of gifts.  My heart fills up with compassion and a deep desire to help out motivates me to buy a toy, wrap it up and make it pretty….so that a child can “have Christmas”.

Really?  We can’t “have Christmas” without gifts?  Yes!  Really!!  Isn’t that what Christmas is all about?  (Read with a bit of sarcasm in my tone)  After all, even as Believers we know the kings brought gifts to Jesus….so, it is Biblical to give the people we love and people who are in need—gifts.   So…..every year there were piles of gifts under our tree!  Lots of them!  Not expensive ones—lots of items on sale—we never would go in debt for Christmas--but there were gifts under the tree.  I remember the first Christmases our son-in-law and a few years later, our daughter-in-law had with us—they were amazed at the gifts.  I love giving gifts!!  (By the way, and this may be a major shocker, we did not "do" Santa!!  We can talk about that another time....I am getting off track!)

Our family has grown so much over the past few years and I started noticing that the joy of shopping was slowly turning into a burden.  Even though we did not purchase expensive gifts, the number of people made it more expensive….so there were less and less gifts per person.  It was exhausting trying to be sure to be fair—did we spend the same amount (or close to the same amount) for each family?  Does everyone have the same amount of gifts to open?  Will they even like it?  Will it end up in the bottom of a closet or stuffed in a drawer somewhere?  Would it end up at Goodwill?  The hustle and bustle of finding the time and just the right thing had begun to overshadow the joy of giving.

Not too long after Christmas 2011 I was reflecting on all of this….Christmas was over.  Everyone had gone home.  I was second guessing what I had bought….did they like it….blah, blah, blah.  I was visiting my dad in Carlsbad, CA at the time—a place our children would visit every year to see their grandparents and two of my brothers also live in CA.  They LOVED going….so much to do….beautiful weather.  Fun times spent with family we rarely got to see.

After they married and began to have families of their own, their trips to CA had diminished.  Ernie and I still went but our kids and grandkids could not.  My dad has never met two of his great-grandchildren!!  None of my three brothers have met any of them!!  This is not right and we are doing something about it!!

Thus back to Christmas gifts.  Last February I asked the kids what they thought about not getting any gifts in 2012—no birthday gifts, no Christmas gifts, no anniversary gifts and, instead, Ernie and I would save that money to purchase airline tickets for a trip to California instead!!  They were super excited and all on board!!  So….that is what we are doing!!  In a month or so we are flying all 11 of us to CA for a time with my family.  All three of my brothers will be there with most of their families too.  My dad is soooo excited and my mom would be elated if she were still alive.

You might wonder if the kids (big and little) have been sad about not getting to open gifts—and I can honestly say—NO!  We will be making memories that will last a lot longer than any toy or new jeans would.  Maybe you might want to rethink how you “do” gifts….I can honestly say it has been so freeing and am wondering how I can pull it off again this year!!  Making memories instead of clutter!

Now….I must confess!!  I lied when I said we gave no gifts!!  Christmas Eve, Eve I could not stand it any longer!!!  I ran out and bought a California tee shirt for each adult and a book for each child!!  After all….it wouldn’t be Christmas without gifts under the tree, Right??!

Is God Done With Me?

For those of you who have been “following” this blog for a while know that the five of us who contribute/write do so weekly on a rotating basis according to a predetermined schedule written out a year in advance.  The week of Christmas 2012 was my “turn” but I did not “post” anything…..and trust me….it was not because I had forgotten—I remembered.  It was not because I didn’t try to write— I tried.  I really did try.

It was not because I didn’t have anything to say—I had lots to say! 

I wanted to share with you that I just didn’t have it “in me” this year to drag all of the Christmas decorations out of our attic--yet our home looked beautifully Christmassy—using greenery and candles instead.  I was even going to be OK with not putting up the Christmas tree—but my husband brought it in from the garage—assembled it—lights were already attached and so we had a beautiful, mostly naked tree!  No ornaments from the attic—only ones that were given to us this year or ones the kids made or things that never made it to the attic last year--you know--the after Christmas sale items :).  Simple.  Beautiful.  Easy.  Crazy if you knew me and how I love to decorate for Christmas!

I wanted to tell you that my husband and I purchased no Christmas presents this year for any member of our family.  Not for our kids, not for our grandchildren, not for each other.  In fact, we did not give any birthday presents this year either.  Crazy if you knew me and how I love to give gifts!!  (More about this later!!)

 

 

I wanted to tell you our kids made the best snowman ever!!  His name was Tom and he looked in at us every day through our window with a silly carrot grin on his face!!  His cucumber eyes smiled at us and he stood tall and strong for days in his snowy wonderland.  (More about this later).

I wanted to tell you that I stepped away from teaching the ladies Sunday school class and am now helping with first graders.  Crazy if you knew how much I love those ladies and how much I love teaching them!!  (More about this later)

Yet I could not write and I felt so guilty.  I was not following through with my responsibility.  Did I need to step away and let someone else do it?  Then I wondered….was the reason I couldn’t write because God was done with me?  Was God finished with me? 

There are a lot of things I don’t know!!  Lots!  And it is hard for me to always know when I need to step away from something and do something else….but one thing I do know....and He had to gently remind me....God is not finished with me!  I will know He is finished with me when I breathe my last breath!! 

 

You too, my friend!!  If you are discouraged, feeling defeated or if God seems far away or silent….He is not done with you!!  Don’t be like me and forget that!!  He is not done with us!

Friendship Part 4

A good friend is one soul in two bodies.  Aristotle

Ah! Good ole Aristotle and his wisdom.  I recall reading (and falling asleep) several writings of Aristotle but it is only recently I came across this quote.  Now, I cannot tell you one idea of my past readings of Aristotle, but this quote struck a chord with me.

I do have a friend who has a kindred spirit to mine.  We have been separated by hundreds of miles yet our friendship still remains strong.  Our husbands laugh when we do get together because often we will show up in a similar outfit.  A few times it has been the same outfit down to the accessories!  She is my road trip/mission trip buddy.  We love chocolate covered raisins and peanut M & Ms.  The only difference between us is that she is a tall, slender brunette who loves the mountains and I am a short, stocky, blonde who loves the beach.  Yet we are one soul in two bodies.  The best thing about our friendship is that not only do we share it here but our friendship will last for eternity because we are both Christ followers.

I firmly believe God create a special friend for all of us-even ministers’ wives.  Maybe you do not have that special friendship with another lady.  Well, have you prayed for a friend?  If you have not done so, maybe you should try it. 

Every time God moves my husband and me to a new location I begin praying for a true friend.  I ask specifically for a godly woman who will encourage me, be honest, and who loves to have fun.  Of course, she must love chocolate too.  So far God has not let me down.  I have had some beautiful women as friends over the years.  They are still dear friends even though miles keep us apart and the years have passed.

Each friend blessed my life for the better.  From one I learned the art of stripping wallpaper and painting.  Another friend taught me how to cook and to pray for people when they are brought to your mind.  One friend is my encourager.  Several friends taught me that there is power in praying God’s word.  All my girlfriends love to laugh, have fun, and they are prayer warriors.  However, there are a couple who I consider my closest friends because we tend to know what the other is thinking before it is said.  That is when you know you have a friendship that does not require words.  They can simply “be there” for you.

Ladies, I would love to hear about that special friend with whom you share a special bond.  Please tell me how you met and how you have managed to develop your friendship.  Also, share if she is a minister’s wife as well. 

 

Friendship Part 3

A friend hears the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory
fails.

I cannot find who made this statement but isn’t this a beautiful quote?  When I read it my heart just sighed.  How many ministers’ wives need a friend who understands her heart and can lift her up when ministry life or life in general slaps them in the face? 

I know in our ministry we have gone through some tough times.  Some have been church related and others have been anything from children to financial issues.  I hate to admit it but at times my faith has been shaky.  Okay, I will be brutally honest.  At times I wondered where God was.

I am one stubborn girl and at times God has to really to resort to drastic measures to keep me in line.  When I finally hit rock bottom and I am bruised, God always hugs me.  It amazes me that God usually sends a dear friend to do His hugging.  These ladies will pick me up, brush me off, and wipe my tears.  They don’t reprimand but instead they point me to His word and sing to me His promises.  They know me heart and remind me over and over of the blessings I have.

One sweet friend I have did this last year for me.  Ms. Emma is an older, wiser, African American woman who is truly a servant of the Lord.  She is a prayer warrior and encourager.  She is my prayer partner.  Last year was difficult with moving, losing my mom, and dealing with my father’s failing health.  There were many times that I felt alone and wondered if God really did care about everything going on.  When things got really dark I always received a note from Ms. Emma reminding me of God’s goodness, mercy, and love.  I firmly believe God allowed her insight into what I was struggling with and prompted her to send these notes.  In a sense Ms. Emma was singing to my weary soul.

Sisters, it is my prayer that you have a friend who knows your heart and can sing to you when you memory of God’s goodness fails.  

 

Friendship Part 2

Friends Are Treasures
-- Horace Bruns

I have lots of treasures.  I have a cute M & M jar that never runs empty. I have seashells from the different beaches I have been to.  I have three pieces of my mom’s doll china.  I have tons of photos of my family and friends.  I have costly jewelry.  There are precious books and a comfy blanket.  I have several items that belonged to my grandmothers.  I even have several handmade quilts that belong to my great-great grandmothers.  However, I have learned over the years that my most treasured possessions besides my salvation in Jesus are my friends.

I do try to take care of each friendship like I would any of my earthly treasures.  I do not just claim my friendship and then sit them on the shelf to collect dust.  I like to spend time with my friends and catch up on their lives.  Oh, we may only see each other on rare occasions and sometimes years, but we still visit through email, phone calls, letters, and now Facebook. 

I have even been known to share a girlfriend with another girlfriend.  Isn’t that what you are supposed to do with treasured family heirlooms?  Pass them on or share them?  It has been funny to watch when two of my treasured friends meet for the first time and a brand new friendship begins.   I love it!  I secretly have a desire to one day have all my girlfriends in one big room and introduce them all to each other and see what happens.  I firmly believe there would be a mass of treasure discovered in that room.

Friendships are a treasure.  Even God’s word tells us the story of David and Jonathan.  Their friendship was special.  These two godly men were more like brothers.  They knew each other’s hearts and protected one another.  Even our Lord surrounded himself with a few close friends.

So ladies, do you have a special friend that is a treasure?  Tell her/him.  If you do not have a special connection to a friend, I encourage you to make the effort to develop, nurture, and then treasure a friend.   If it was good enough for a young shepherd boy, the son of a king, and Jesus, then it should be good enough for us.

 

 

Friendship Part 1

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one. ~ C.S. Lewis

 

When I ran across this statement by C. S. Lewis, I immediately loved it.  I cannot tell you how many times the start of a friendship for me has begun with me jokingly saying, “M & Ms are my nerve pills” or “chocolate is a major food group for me.”  Inevitably, the comment back is “Me too!”  That’s when I know I have a true soul sister who shares my love of chocolate.

However, there are times as a minister’s wife that the comment of “I thought I was the only one” arises.  For ministers’ wives we are often isolated from our church congregations.  Oh, we have friends but sometimes they are “arm-length” friends.  Very seldom can we fully open ourselves up to a friend in our congregation. 

Friendships are truly born.  They have a life of their own.  They develop over time as long as we nurture them.  I have found that sometimes a friend does not have to say anything.  All she has to do is sit beside you and hold your hand.  That is true friendship.

When we are able to share openly with a sister in ministry we can get rid of stress.   We can learn that we are not “the only one” who struggles with certain issues like loneliness, jealously, sharing our husbands, criticism, etc.  Having a friend to share with can allow us some peace and freedom.  While one sister is struggling the other sister can encourage and be understanding.  However, never ever let the struggling sister stay rooted in her misery.  Show her the positive.

I am only beginning to form friendships with the staff wives at my new church.  We are beginning to connect as we learn things about each other.  There have been several “What!  You too?” moments followed with laughter.  I find great comfort in knowing that I am not alone in this thing called ministry.

 

New Life

It will be a few months before we can welcome new life in nature, flowers blooming, trees budding, and grass growing, especially since we are smack in the middle of winter with its cold temperatures, ice, and snow.

But we can celebrate new life in Christ every time a person gives his or her life to the Lord for the forgiveness of sin.  Our church recently had this type of celebration: on the very first Sunday of this wonderful new year, six young souls were baptized, signifying that they now are children in God’s kingdom!

I am always excited when people come to Christ, and the fact that these new saints were children, all the more brought extra joy to my heart since I teach little ones at my church. I don’t know about you, but I never want to become apathetic about what it truly means when a person gives their life to Christ, and are now and forever in a loving relationship with our Savior.

God’s word says that there is even rejoicing in heaven among the angels over sinners who repent. (Luke 15:7,10)   So, rejoice and celebrate with me as we welcome these precious children into our Father’s family!