My husband has been gone 51 days.
- Yes, I am counting!!
- No, I did not get to go with him.
- Yes, I will eventually get to go.
I have been “left behind” because of commitments I needed to fulfill here before I could make the move. This separation has provided many challenges, vacancies and opportunities.
For instance:
- A typical week of laundry consists of a handful of panties instead of several loads.
- The remote control is always where I left it and never lost in the cushion of the recliner.
- I never wake up to the sweet sound of snoring.
And I miss all of it! I miss my husband. We have been married over 33 years and we are best friends. He has begun his new ministry in our new church and God is using him. He is meeting people and talks about names I am not familiar with. He goes places I cannot envision.
Another challenge that I struggle with is, where do I go to church? Many weekends I am not able to travel the eight hours to be with my husband and our new church because of speaking engagements and I have been told it would be best if I did not go back to our church here. So, what am I to do? Do I drive for 45 minutes to an hour to go to church in another town? Do I go to another church in our small town? Do I stay home and go to the church on the TV? Others have told me I should return to our church. So I am open to suggestions. What has worked for you? What am I to do? (So far I have done all of the above!!)
What a strange place to be. A pastor’s wife visiting other churches!! Honestly, at times, it has been freeing! To be anonymous.! To be able to worship and not know anyone, talk to anyone! To be able to focus on the Lord and not on anyone else. What freedom!!
I am so ready to be reunited with my husband….and in the meantime, I long to use this time to get to know my God. To sit at His feet. To not waste a second of this “season”. To do as Paul says in Philippians, to “Know Him and the Power of his resurrection…”. To learn how to love and serve my husband from a distance. To pray and seek wisdom as to how God might use me at our new church. To understand that this sense of loneliness and feeling disconnected from the old church and the new church will be used for His glory and my good.
The truth is….I have not been "left behind"!! Jeremiah 20:11 says “the Lord stands beside my like a great warrior!!”
1 comment:
Dana,
Thank you for your insightful posts. I was so thankful that you dealt with the issue of where to go to church. Our 24 year old daughter moved 5.5 hours from home 3 months ago. All her life her Daddy has been her pastor. She has visited several churches and just can't seem to find the perfect fit. In one church the worship is what she is looking for but she can't seem to find a SS class that she "fits" into. Another she likes the SS but does not feel she has been to worship. Of course, as parents, we want her somewhere where she can be involved and active as she has always been. We don't want her to become weary in the search and just give up. She was home last weekend and talked about how much she enjoyed worship and how she had missed that and being able to sing. When all you have ever known is being the pastors family and worshipping where he is, it is truly difficult to find somewhere to fit. I am praying for you during this transition, please pray for Shari as she seeks God's place for her.
Prayerfully,
Becky
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