Weird Love / Love Weird

No joke - I have tried to write this post no less than 3 times.

Each time I felt like I was getting somewhere and then I would stop and reread it and it just hasn't felt "right."

So I will try again to get my words to somehow convey all these thoughts and feelings pinging around my head . . .

If I am going to "Redeem Valentine's" and "Love Like Jesus in the Real World" (titles of my last 2 blog posts), I am going to have to "Love Weird."

After I posted on Wednesday morning, I went to a meeting where I was encouraged to really connect with the ladies in my small group and to love them in a way that may be new or strange or, yes, even weird to them. (God used the discussion and devotion to confirm what HE has already seemed to be speaking to my heart through those last two posts.)

We cannot expect the world around us to "get" Jesus' type of love unless we demonstrate it for them -in how we treat each other and in how we treat them. This self-sacrificing, putting others first with no pretense or desire for reciprocation, is NOT found anywhere else.

This type of love compels us to forgive when condemnation is expected. It is rare and it is weird.

This "weird love" is far from blind. It is not weak or pushed around. It doesn't excuse wrong but rather exposes it. It produces restoration and pursues renovation.

It is NOT what comes naturally to any of us as it is strictly supernatural in its basic, beautiful and most intricate characteristics. There is nothing to compare it to in an effort to explain or define it. It is weird.

God has given us relationships that even in their best, purest forms fail to consistently and accurately mimic this love. Paul called the marriage relationship "a great mystery" because of the way it strives to symbolize the love relationship between Christ and her bride, the church.

"Weird Love" is "all in." Doing the hard things. Risking the heartache. Being vulnerable. Exposing our own weaknesses. Crying and laughing and doing life together in a way the world cannot understand and can only describe with the word "weird."

Over this week, the Holy Spirit has been showing me places and areas of my life where I am only "half-in." It has been convicting and humbling. I find myself asking Him questions like: "How can I step it up?" and "Should I even really be serving in this capacity?" and "What would You have me to do in this situation?"

While He hasn't answered all my questions yet, He does have me seeking Him. I rejoice in the "weird love" He has given and is so lavishly giving me. I am learning about how He is transforming me with it and how, in turn, to give it to others - how to both accept "weird love" and to give "love weird" to others.

I don't want to be normal. I want to be "weird" and I am okay to be judged that way. Peter tells us we are to be aliens and strangers . . . I think I can handle being described as weird, especially if it is the result of loving weird...

So . . . here I am this morning, wanting and trying to write this post, and yet feeling like I am still lacking a clear direction or purpose for it. . . Maybe I should just scrap it altogether and wait until my next turn to blog . . . Maybe you can relate - not to my inability to organize my thoughts, but rather to this tension of how to respond to what God is impressing on your heart or maybe you can relate to this specific calling to love weird . . . .

Yet, I still feel like I should hit the "Publish" button and put at least some of my mishmash of thoughts, reflections and feelings out there into the world of the internet...