If you are a Tennessee minister' wife and receive the Baptist Reflector, you already know how today's blog title comes into play. This quote broke many hearts last year at The Good Cup, a new event for ministers wives sponsored by the Tennessee Baptist Convention.
Since I am privilege to work on the TBC team that host The Good Cup, we have taken the statement made by this young pastor's wife and made it our mission. Like her, there are many ladies in Tennessee and across the United States who are lonely. They need a friend and a listening ear.
I want to take this opportunity to personally invite the ministers wives across the state of Tennessee to join us at The Good Cup at the state convention in Jackson. We will meet on November 9 from 1-3:30 p.m. at West Jackson Baptist Church. The event is free (yeah!) and it is held during the pastor's conference. Jennifer Landrith and Rachel Lovingood, both wives of ministers at Long Hollow Baptist Church, Hendersonville, will be our speakers. In addition you will not want to miss the musical talent of Carolyn Reed, a music evangelist and pastor's wife of Scenic View Baptist Church, Nashville.
Also, let me make a plug for the annual TBC Ministers Wives luncheon which will be held on November 10 at Calvary Baptist Church, Jackson. The cost of this event is $15 and you can register through the TBC.
I hope to see you at one or both events! Remember, if you are feeling lonely, there are fellow sisters in the ministry who could use a friend as well.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Other PK Moments
As I promised yesterday I believe God wants me to share another moment in our family where our two PKs entertained the masses. Our PKs are just normal kids with normal parents (my children will question the “normal” parents) who happen to live in a not so normal environment.
At one point in our ministry, a pulpit committee from south Arkansas came to listen to my husband and talk with us as a family. Our sons, Stephen and Bryan, were kindergarten and three years old. We met in a back room of a local restaurant for over two hours. During that time the boys grew restless. Stephen asked to go to the restroom and Bryan wanted to go with him. I had my eye on the door the whole time. Suddenly our youngest son, Bryan, came running out of the restroom and screamed that his brother was “locked in the potty and can’t get out.” Embarrassed my husband had to leave the committee to go rescue the potty prisoner. Once we settled everyone down again we began our conversation with the committee. Our children were playing quietly on the floor with a few toys. Suddenly, I heard our three year barking like a dog from underneath the table at one of the gentlemen. I scrambled to grab my son but before I could reach him two of the committee members reached under table and lifted our son by his feet into the air. Our son, squealing with glee, proceeded to beg the two men to keep swinging him. (At that point I was begging God to rain down on me Hersey’s Kisses!) When the visit was over and we were in our car, my husband said, “Wave good-bye to the nice men because that is the last time we will see them.” Thankfully, the team saw a real family and recommended the church call us as pastor of their church.
Shortly after we were settled at this church, I was sitting in the church auditorium with my children. Services were well underway. When the worship music ended my husband took the pulpit and asked for everyone to pray with him. Suddenly, in the quiet, spiritual moment, a little boy’s voice excitedly yelled, “Hey, Jason!” Laughter rang across the room and I slid under the pew. Yes, my three year old, Bryan, spotted on of his favorite teenagers and wanted to greet him personally.
I know we all have experienced these PK moments with our children. If you haven’t I want to meet you and give you a big hug. Again, I will state that God gave our children to be raised in a Christian home. Sure they get tired of going to church all the time, however, if we are honest, we get a little weary as well.
Let’s just cherish these PK moments. I am using mine moments right now as retaliation for all the moments my children hid in closets and jumped out scaring me. Besides as I said in my last post, if your children do some antics like mind did, chocolate is a great sedative.
I guess I say all this to remind each of us that we should be real with our church family. I do not want to be put on a pedestal. I want the members of our church family to see that we have struggles and joys just like they do. I want them to see that our children can and will cause as much chaos as their children do.
At one point in our ministry, a pulpit committee from south Arkansas came to listen to my husband and talk with us as a family. Our sons, Stephen and Bryan, were kindergarten and three years old. We met in a back room of a local restaurant for over two hours. During that time the boys grew restless. Stephen asked to go to the restroom and Bryan wanted to go with him. I had my eye on the door the whole time. Suddenly our youngest son, Bryan, came running out of the restroom and screamed that his brother was “locked in the potty and can’t get out.” Embarrassed my husband had to leave the committee to go rescue the potty prisoner. Once we settled everyone down again we began our conversation with the committee. Our children were playing quietly on the floor with a few toys. Suddenly, I heard our three year barking like a dog from underneath the table at one of the gentlemen. I scrambled to grab my son but before I could reach him two of the committee members reached under table and lifted our son by his feet into the air. Our son, squealing with glee, proceeded to beg the two men to keep swinging him. (At that point I was begging God to rain down on me Hersey’s Kisses!) When the visit was over and we were in our car, my husband said, “Wave good-bye to the nice men because that is the last time we will see them.” Thankfully, the team saw a real family and recommended the church call us as pastor of their church.
Shortly after we were settled at this church, I was sitting in the church auditorium with my children. Services were well underway. When the worship music ended my husband took the pulpit and asked for everyone to pray with him. Suddenly, in the quiet, spiritual moment, a little boy’s voice excitedly yelled, “Hey, Jason!” Laughter rang across the room and I slid under the pew. Yes, my three year old, Bryan, spotted on of his favorite teenagers and wanted to greet him personally.
I know we all have experienced these PK moments with our children. If you haven’t I want to meet you and give you a big hug. Again, I will state that God gave our children to be raised in a Christian home. Sure they get tired of going to church all the time, however, if we are honest, we get a little weary as well.
Let’s just cherish these PK moments. I am using mine moments right now as retaliation for all the moments my children hid in closets and jumped out scaring me. Besides as I said in my last post, if your children do some antics like mind did, chocolate is a great sedative.
I guess I say all this to remind each of us that we should be real with our church family. I do not want to be put on a pedestal. I want the members of our church family to see that we have struggles and joys just like they do. I want them to see that our children can and will cause as much chaos as their children do.
Monday, October 26, 2009
PK Moments
I think my fellow blogger, Karen, and I are being prompted by God to write about preacher’s kids (PK). I had already been seeking what direction God might take me in my blog thoughts and He took me back to some precious memories of our children growing up in the “Glass House.”
Last week my husband and I were able to travel back to Texas and attend worship at our first full-time church out of seminary. I hate to admit it but I could hardly focus on the young pastor and his message as my mind was doing some wandering down memory lane.
As the pastor called the children down for children’s sermon, I vividly recalled my husband doing the same thing. Our son, Stephen, was about two years old. However, Stephen was very use to the church and he had other things on his mind. He climbed under the Remembrance table and began playing. Well, two of his little playmate saw that their buddy was having fun so they decided to join him. The threesome was having a high old time pretending to be in a train. You could hear them making train whistles and chugging sounds. I, along with two other mothers, was dying of complete embarrassment while the church members laughed. When it came time for the pray, my husband asked the children to bow their heads and then he said, “Stephen, that means you and your buddies must pray too.” I watched amazed as three little heads bowed in unison.
Again another memory flashed before my mind. I was expecting our second son, Bryan, and was doing good to be at church. I had to sit on the very back row so that if I had a bout of morning sickness I could make a run for the restroom. Now, as any pastor’s wife knows, if your children sit in church with you, you must keep a bag of “quiet, fun activities” on hand. I had a bag full of items: colors, paper, books, and scotch tape (ladies, tape is a great entertainment for a 2 year old!). Stephen was not interested in any of the items. He was searching the congregation for one of his favorite people, Papa Klein. Papa was a big man of a cowboy with a huge heart who loved kids. (He won Stephen over the first day we were there by giving my ten month old his first sucker!) Once Stephen spotted Papa coming out of the choir loft, he slipped out of my reach and I watched horrified as he proceeded to crawl soldier style under all the pews until he reach the front row. When he reached his destination, Papa picked him up and sat him on the pew beside him. All I could do was sigh and thank the Lord that these people loved my family regardless of my son’s actions.
Ladies, if these couple of stories horrified you, just wait. I plan to share a couple more this week if the Lord prompts me. I think you can understand why chocolate is my sedative at times. However, let me remind you that whatever staff position you hold, our children are God’s gift to us. They get an abundant of love and unfortunately, sometimes grief from our church families. We must train our children to love the Lord first and to see the good in all people.
Last week my husband and I were able to travel back to Texas and attend worship at our first full-time church out of seminary. I hate to admit it but I could hardly focus on the young pastor and his message as my mind was doing some wandering down memory lane.
As the pastor called the children down for children’s sermon, I vividly recalled my husband doing the same thing. Our son, Stephen, was about two years old. However, Stephen was very use to the church and he had other things on his mind. He climbed under the Remembrance table and began playing. Well, two of his little playmate saw that their buddy was having fun so they decided to join him. The threesome was having a high old time pretending to be in a train. You could hear them making train whistles and chugging sounds. I, along with two other mothers, was dying of complete embarrassment while the church members laughed. When it came time for the pray, my husband asked the children to bow their heads and then he said, “Stephen, that means you and your buddies must pray too.” I watched amazed as three little heads bowed in unison.
Again another memory flashed before my mind. I was expecting our second son, Bryan, and was doing good to be at church. I had to sit on the very back row so that if I had a bout of morning sickness I could make a run for the restroom. Now, as any pastor’s wife knows, if your children sit in church with you, you must keep a bag of “quiet, fun activities” on hand. I had a bag full of items: colors, paper, books, and scotch tape (ladies, tape is a great entertainment for a 2 year old!). Stephen was not interested in any of the items. He was searching the congregation for one of his favorite people, Papa Klein. Papa was a big man of a cowboy with a huge heart who loved kids. (He won Stephen over the first day we were there by giving my ten month old his first sucker!) Once Stephen spotted Papa coming out of the choir loft, he slipped out of my reach and I watched horrified as he proceeded to crawl soldier style under all the pews until he reach the front row. When he reached his destination, Papa picked him up and sat him on the pew beside him. All I could do was sigh and thank the Lord that these people loved my family regardless of my son’s actions.
Ladies, if these couple of stories horrified you, just wait. I plan to share a couple more this week if the Lord prompts me. I think you can understand why chocolate is my sedative at times. However, let me remind you that whatever staff position you hold, our children are God’s gift to us. They get an abundant of love and unfortunately, sometimes grief from our church families. We must train our children to love the Lord first and to see the good in all people.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Preacher's Kids Are the Worst!
Early in our marriage many people gave us advice. One of the most often quoted things we heard was, "Preacher's kids are the worst kids." They often laughed when they said it, but we knew it had some truth in it.
When I discovered I was expecting our first child, I immediately went to the Lord, lifted my Bible in the air and said, "Lord, I am going to start on page 1 of this Book and do my very best to do everything in it you teach about children. Please do not let me have the worst kids!"
I began to study, research and obey. It is amazing how clearly God gives instructions for raising our children. I quickly discovered it was going to be work, take time and everything would start with my own relationship with Christ. God began to work in my heart, so He could then work in the heart of my children.
Ministry is full of blessings and full of demands. God clearly showed me that in order for my husband to be able to fulfill the demands of ministry in our church, I had to pick up the ministry at home. Don't misunderstand, Doug was very involved with our children and we did not feel like we were competing with his ministry, but complimenting his ministry. Still, I was the one who spent the most time and had to turn down some opportunities at church while my children were young.
Ladies, it is worth it! I have three grown sons who love the Lord and love serving Him. I now have many opportunities to travel, speak and serve the Lord in new ways. I do not regret a single minute at home.
It is impossible to share all the things God taught me in this space. I am leading a Children's Seminar in Tennessee this spring. You can catch the details on my website: karenalexanderdoyel.com I apologize for announcing this on the blog, but I have so many of you asking questions via email that I thought this might be helpful. Feel free to contact me and I will be glad to answer questions or talk to you.
Proverbs 54:13 "All your children shall be taught by the Lord, And great shall be the peace of your children."
When I discovered I was expecting our first child, I immediately went to the Lord, lifted my Bible in the air and said, "Lord, I am going to start on page 1 of this Book and do my very best to do everything in it you teach about children. Please do not let me have the worst kids!"
I began to study, research and obey. It is amazing how clearly God gives instructions for raising our children. I quickly discovered it was going to be work, take time and everything would start with my own relationship with Christ. God began to work in my heart, so He could then work in the heart of my children.
Ministry is full of blessings and full of demands. God clearly showed me that in order for my husband to be able to fulfill the demands of ministry in our church, I had to pick up the ministry at home. Don't misunderstand, Doug was very involved with our children and we did not feel like we were competing with his ministry, but complimenting his ministry. Still, I was the one who spent the most time and had to turn down some opportunities at church while my children were young.
Ladies, it is worth it! I have three grown sons who love the Lord and love serving Him. I now have many opportunities to travel, speak and serve the Lord in new ways. I do not regret a single minute at home.
It is impossible to share all the things God taught me in this space. I am leading a Children's Seminar in Tennessee this spring. You can catch the details on my website: karenalexanderdoyel.com I apologize for announcing this on the blog, but I have so many of you asking questions via email that I thought this might be helpful. Feel free to contact me and I will be glad to answer questions or talk to you.
Proverbs 54:13 "All your children shall be taught by the Lord, And great shall be the peace of your children."
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
We Saved Him!
One of the ways we included our children in ministry was allowing them to go with Doug on visitation. Each son was allowed a turn to go with their dad to homes, hospitals or even some meetings.
There were many rules and instructions given as they prepared to go with dad. We were careful to explain how important it was for them not to distract so God could speak to the person they were visiting. They were to sit still, pray quietly, listen and not touch anything! Does that sound like some of your rules?
On one visit it was Stephen's turn to go. He was very excited. They were visiting an older man that lived across the street from the church. He had been visited by every minister that ever served at the church. He just was not interested. Like the minister's before him, Doug had visited him early in his new ministry.
This would be Doug's second visit to his home. He had seen him in his yard the previous Sunday and felt he needed to go see him again.
Doug and Stephen had been gone for about an hour when my phone rang. When I answered I heard a very soft, whispering voice saying, "Mom, can you hear me?" My heart went into fast gear and I immediately said, "Stephen, what are you doing, whose phone are you using?" (There were no cell phones in those days) The next thing I heard in a very loud, shouting voice was, "WE SAVED HIM, MOM, WE SAVED HIM!!!"
(He crept away into the man's kitchen to use his phone, while his dad continued to talk)
Of course, Jesus saved that dear man, but my son was able to see God work and participate in his dad's ministry. Stephen's excitement could not wait, he had to share immediately. Help your children get excited about ministry by including them each day as a team member.
Eccl. 3:14a "I know that whatever God does, It shall be forever."
There were many rules and instructions given as they prepared to go with dad. We were careful to explain how important it was for them not to distract so God could speak to the person they were visiting. They were to sit still, pray quietly, listen and not touch anything! Does that sound like some of your rules?
On one visit it was Stephen's turn to go. He was very excited. They were visiting an older man that lived across the street from the church. He had been visited by every minister that ever served at the church. He just was not interested. Like the minister's before him, Doug had visited him early in his new ministry.
This would be Doug's second visit to his home. He had seen him in his yard the previous Sunday and felt he needed to go see him again.
Doug and Stephen had been gone for about an hour when my phone rang. When I answered I heard a very soft, whispering voice saying, "Mom, can you hear me?" My heart went into fast gear and I immediately said, "Stephen, what are you doing, whose phone are you using?" (There were no cell phones in those days) The next thing I heard in a very loud, shouting voice was, "WE SAVED HIM, MOM, WE SAVED HIM!!!"
(He crept away into the man's kitchen to use his phone, while his dad continued to talk)
Of course, Jesus saved that dear man, but my son was able to see God work and participate in his dad's ministry. Stephen's excitement could not wait, he had to share immediately. Help your children get excited about ministry by including them each day as a team member.
Eccl. 3:14a "I know that whatever God does, It shall be forever."
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Serving Together
Serving God comes with blessings, joy, trials and often stretches us beyond what we thought was possible.
As a minister's wife you often have the opportunity to serve the Lord in ways others cannot imagine. A phone call, a drop in, email, text can change your plans for the day completely.
As I served along side my husband, much of the ministry God called me to was raising our three sons. Their dad was often late coming home or our family time interrupted by emergencies. God clearly taught me that He wanted me to support Doug by teaching our children. I had the opportunity to teach them to pray for their dad when he was not there or complain about him for not being there. My sons were quick to pick up on my moods. They knew when I was supportive and they knew when I was resentful.
I did not want our sons to dislike the ministry. The desire of my heart was that they would have God as the desire of their hearts.
Doug was great about making time for each of us, yet there were times that His work called him away from us. As we walked through this journey, God began to teach me how to make Doug's time away our chance for ministry. I thought I would share a few things we did to join Doug as He ministered.
1. Clearly explained where Doug was and what He was doing.
2. We then each put on our Spiritual Armor. We taught the boys that they were soldiers in the army of God and we were Doug's back up.
3. Stopped to pray for the circumstances. (If a meeting, hospital visit, death, conflict)
4. The next time we were together as a family, Doug shared with us what God did during his time of ministering. Always assuring the boys that God heard and answered their prayers for him. Letting them know they made a difference.
5. Stopped to pray and thanked God for His work through us and in others.
This is just one of the ways we brought our sons into the ministry. I will share more with you later. Take time to share the ministry with your children. Become a team and watch God work!
Eccl. 4:9-10 "Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion."
As a minister's wife you often have the opportunity to serve the Lord in ways others cannot imagine. A phone call, a drop in, email, text can change your plans for the day completely.
As I served along side my husband, much of the ministry God called me to was raising our three sons. Their dad was often late coming home or our family time interrupted by emergencies. God clearly taught me that He wanted me to support Doug by teaching our children. I had the opportunity to teach them to pray for their dad when he was not there or complain about him for not being there. My sons were quick to pick up on my moods. They knew when I was supportive and they knew when I was resentful.
I did not want our sons to dislike the ministry. The desire of my heart was that they would have God as the desire of their hearts.
Doug was great about making time for each of us, yet there were times that His work called him away from us. As we walked through this journey, God began to teach me how to make Doug's time away our chance for ministry. I thought I would share a few things we did to join Doug as He ministered.
1. Clearly explained where Doug was and what He was doing.
2. We then each put on our Spiritual Armor. We taught the boys that they were soldiers in the army of God and we were Doug's back up.
3. Stopped to pray for the circumstances. (If a meeting, hospital visit, death, conflict)
4. The next time we were together as a family, Doug shared with us what God did during his time of ministering. Always assuring the boys that God heard and answered their prayers for him. Letting them know they made a difference.
5. Stopped to pray and thanked God for His work through us and in others.
This is just one of the ways we brought our sons into the ministry. I will share more with you later. Take time to share the ministry with your children. Become a team and watch God work!
Eccl. 4:9-10 "Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion."
Monday, October 19, 2009
God Still Speaks
As I read the blogs of the other women who are sharing in this privilege the reocurring theme seems to be, GOD IS SPEAKING! He is being heard through the changing seasons, memories, everyday chores, friendships, in His church.
I spent a busy week of speaking. I spoke at a Mom to Mom event, a business women's lunch, a funeral and a weekend retreat. It has been a very intense week of studying and going.
Each and every place I went there were women waiting to hear from God. I would love to tell you it was me they wanted to hear from, but I assure you it was not. They all had different stories, circumstances, praises and trials. The common thread at every place was we each wanted God to speak to us.
I am happy to tell you that God did speak. He is always ready to speak if we are willing to listen. He has so much to teach us, mysteries to unveil, plans to lay out.
I know that school is back in session, church programs are in full swing and it is time to prepare for the holidays. None of these things are bad, but they can keep us from hearing God speak.
Psalm 46:10a "Be still, and know that I am God."
As you minister and serve take time to be still. God wants to speak to you. He has a plan, He wants to be your Guide, He wants time with you.
I spent a busy week of speaking. I spoke at a Mom to Mom event, a business women's lunch, a funeral and a weekend retreat. It has been a very intense week of studying and going.
Each and every place I went there were women waiting to hear from God. I would love to tell you it was me they wanted to hear from, but I assure you it was not. They all had different stories, circumstances, praises and trials. The common thread at every place was we each wanted God to speak to us.
I am happy to tell you that God did speak. He is always ready to speak if we are willing to listen. He has so much to teach us, mysteries to unveil, plans to lay out.
I know that school is back in session, church programs are in full swing and it is time to prepare for the holidays. None of these things are bad, but they can keep us from hearing God speak.
Psalm 46:10a "Be still, and know that I am God."
As you minister and serve take time to be still. God wants to speak to you. He has a plan, He wants to be your Guide, He wants time with you.
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