I Was Jealous Of Her

I was jealous of her.  And I did not even realize it…until this week.  And it crushed me.  Devastated me.  Hurt me.  My heart is heavy.  The conviction is deep.

I was jealous of her marriage.  Of her speaking ability.  Of her relationship with the Lord.  Of her ministry.  Of her ability to mother well.  All.  Of.  It.  I was jealous.  Envious.  I wanted her life.

We go way back to the mid 1970’s in Texas but I did not meet her until sometime early 2000’s in Tennessee.  Long before I met my husband, Ernie, she and her husband, Doug, worked with him in Young Life in Fort Worth, Texas.  She later told me that she prayed for Ernie to find a Godly wife.  I remember vividly how that affected me….that someone I did not even know was praying for me!  Me!  I had no idea anyone was praying for me….yet she was.  She is a pray-er!

Fast forward to today.  Doug died tragically several years ago….Suddenly.  She has been battling cancer for years and now can barely speak.  As she says in her own words, she is struggling physically.  Emotionally.  Spiritually.

Karen Alexander-Doyle was married to a pastor and wrote for this blog for a season.  I encourage you to go to the the TN PRIME RIB web version, look on the side panel for Karen, Click on it and read her posts.  She is the real deal.  Many of you know her.  You have heard her speak.  You have read her writings.  You know her story.  Her beautiful, tragic, incredible God story.

Her life is all about giving God the glory, praying, serving, encouraging, loving, speaking Truth and giving much joy.

Get on Facebook, go to her page and see/read/hear her current situation.  Pray for her.  Learn from her.  Encourage her.  Be encouraged by her.

She is living proof of 2 Corinthians 4:16:  “Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.”

Do I still want her life?  Her suffering is real….but not more real than her relationship with the God of the universe.  What I long for is that same kind of faith and trust and dependence on our Father. 

Father, right now as my sisters read this we pray in one accord with one mind and one heart....we lift up Karen and her family.  Fill them with Your Peace and Your comfort.  We believe You are near to each one of them....may they come to know You as they have never known You before as they walk through these days.  Would You use her story to bring many people to know You and glorify You.  Thank you for using Karen to encourage so many.....would You use many to encourage her.  In Jesus' name....amen!