Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Dear Church Member....Part 2

Dear church member, (Part 2)

1.      When you publicly pray out loud for my husband and/or my family, tears of joy and humility and gratefulness flow down my face.

2.      Your faithfulness to our Lord encourages me.

3.      Hugs mean so much….especially when they are combined with a whisper in my ear telling me how much you love my family.

4.      Taking notes in Bible study and in worship encourages my husband.

5.      When you invite us to eat with you and we don’t talk about church ‘issues’ but talk about God or football or your life or anything but church issues….is so much fun!!

6.      Your willingness to serve our Lord blesses me.

7.      It helps so much when you want to babysit our children.

8.      I want our children to love church and to love going to church.

9.      Thank you for being a surrogate grandparent to my children….their grandparents live so far away.

10.  I am so grateful for the cards you send or the little notes you write on the back of a bulletin encouraging us.

11.  Sometimes I feel like I am the only one praying for my husband.

12.  I am not like your former pastor’s wife.

13.  I wish I could play the piano and sing in the choir.

14.  Thank you for your compassion for the lost, for your love for Christ’s church and for being faithful to His Word.

15.  Sometimes I stay in my jammies all day…..and so do my kids.

16.  My house is rarely completely clean, the beds are not always made and I hardly ever wash my windows….but I’d love for you to come over and chit-chat.

17.  I am not good at coordinating ‘funeral food’.  It gives me diarrhea just thinking about it.

18.  I am envious of other pastor’s wives who seem to have it all together and who do so much for you.

19.  I have to repent for being envious.  In fact, I do a LOT of repenting!!!  I sin a LOT!

20.  I am imperfect.

21.  I am forgiven.

22.  I am praying for you!

Lovingly, Your Pastor’s wife

Dear Church Member...Part 1

Dear Church Member,
1.      You are the best thing about being a pastor’s wife—and you are the worst thing about being a pastor’s wife.

2.      Please never say, “Oh that’s right, you are not one of us.”

3.      Sometimes I am afraid to wear something new to church because I wonder what you might think about me having something new.

4.      Just because my husband’s car is not at the church office does not mean he is not working.  Sometimes he is up in the middle of the night for hours praying for you.

5.      When you criticize my husband, you are criticizing me too…and visa versa.  We are one.

6.      Sometimes I don’t want to go to church.

7.      Each time you have a negative thought or word about my husband or the church or me or my children, replace it with a positive thought or word about my husband or the church or me or my children.  I am learning to do that for you.

8.      I wanted to buy a can of beer to put into a Southern Living magazine recipe for chili and was afraid someone would ‘catch’ me and think I was going to drink it….I felt rebellious and bought it anyway.

9.      The church of satan prays that my husband will fail, that my family will fail and that the Christian church will fail.

10.  It would be helpful if you would not look me over from head to foot when I come in to the church…and then say nothing.

11.  It is OK if other people in the church don't know that we are friends.

12.  It is hard and heart-breaking if you leave the church....or stop coming.

13.  Never get to the place where you believe you know all there is to know about God and His Word.....always be a life-learner....especially when it comes to things of God.

14.  I am lonely.

15.  I am grateful for you.

16.  I am fearful.

17.  I am encouraged….I get discouraged.

18.  I feel/am inadequate to be your pastor’s wife.

19.  I love you!!!

20.  I want to be your friend but I don’t want to talk about church stuff.

With much love,

Your pastor’s wife

Friday, August 23, 2013

Top 10 Reasons for a Minister’s Wife to Eat Chocolate

When I was asked to write a Top 10 blog article for the Arkansas Ministers' Wives blog, my crazy blonde brain automatically went to one of my favorite subjects-chocolate.  I can give you every excuse in the book for eating chocolate.  Seriously, I am the person who believes that chocolate should have its own food group.  However, I will limit my list today to ten reasons.

1.  An ounce of dark chocolate has been proven to keep our hearts healthy.
2.  Chocoalte releases endorphins which reduce stress.  We all know that ministry has plenty
      of stress.
3.  A rationed bag of M & Ms can keep an active preschooler PK entertained during a
     worship service.  Oh, and it can keep the PK's mother calm as well.
4.  Chocoalte is cheaper than therapy.  Being a minister's wife, the mother of two sons, and
     hormonal, I often question my sanity.
5.  If you love M & Ms, there is a flavor for any occasion.  For example, coconut flavored M & Ms
     are for the beach and peanut M & Ms are for heavy duty stress.  An additional bonus to M & Ms
     is that they come in a variety of happy colors.
6.  Sometimes you just need a "Hug" or a "Kiss."
7.  Eat chocolate to stave off the desire to slap someone (like a mean church member)...in
     Jesus' name of course.
8.  God's Holy Word says, "Taste and see that the Lord is good."  Psalms 34:8
9.  With all that we do each day, if you put "eat chocolate" at the top of the list, you can be
     assured you will accomplish at least one thing on the list.
10.  The top 10 reason to eat chocolate . . .GOD CREATED EVERYTHING INCLUDING CHOCOLATE
Well, this is my list for this blog.  I may come back with more at a later date.  Now girlfriends,
share your favorite reason for eating chocolate.





Well, this is my list for this blog.  I may come back with more at a later date.  Now girlfriends, share your favorite reason for eating chocolate.





Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Vulnerable Pastor's Wife

Today I am not going to write a blog for us.  Instead I am sharing a link for blog article that was shared with the Arkansas Baptist ministers' wives.  I believe it will touch a chord with you.  It certainly did for me.  Finally, someone is able to put into words what a minister's wife feels at times.

Please take time to read this link and share your thoughts.


Monday, August 19, 2013

Life Lessons in the Midst of the Storm

I have just returned from another road trip and vacation stay in Louisiana.  Well, maybe not a vacation just a “hospital-cation.”  Not only was my dad admitted for heart failure but that same week my sister-in-law had a hysterectomy and biopsy for further cancer.  A few days after her surgery and while Dad was still in the hospital recovering from a heart procedure my brother  had a bike wreck when a big dog ran out in front of him.  Plus, I had started a healthy eating/exercise 30 day challenge five days prior to all this chaos.  Needless to say I had three patients on pain medication and NO CHOCOLATE over the course of ten days.  Girls, I seriously am not making this up.  It seemed that instead of a small life storm God sent a category 5 hurricane!

During one of those chaotic days, I was doing my quiet time.  On August 8th, Jesus Calling by Sarah Young spoke directly to me.  “I am training you to cultivate a thankful mindset.  This is like building your house on a firm rock, where life’s storms cannot shake you.  As you learn these lessons you are to teach them to others.  I will open the way before you one step at a time.”  My heart literally said “Wow” when I read those words.

So here is what I am learning in this particular storm:

1.        Make sure you have a firm foundation.  Just as a structure cannot stand on sand, our lives must be soundly cemented in Jesus.

2.       Make preparations ahead of time.  Storms do come.  Before a major storm like a hurricane, we receive warnings and can prepare (food, water, evacuation, etc) to be safe.  Life’s storms will come too.  We need to be prepared.  We need to be rooted in scripture and prayer in order to be ready for whatever may come our way.

3.       Take shelter.  Major storms like tornadoes pop up frequently especially in the south.  When the warning horn sounds, I head for a bathroom or closet for safety.  Life’s storms can be horrendous too.   We have a God who is waiting with outstretched arms to shelter us in the midst of the storm.  If you are in doubt of His protection just read Psalms 91.  (I personally had to claim this chapter this past week). 

4.       Remember to breathe.  Breathing is involuntary.  When I say breathe, I mean try (and I know how hard it is) to relax and let God have complete control.  Just like in a weather related storm, there is absolutely nothing we can do to keep life’s storms away.  So trust the Lord, take a deep breath and breathe in the His faithfulness.

5.       Be thankful.  I think this is the hardest lesson I have learned so far.  When you see the devastation that a natural disaster can bring, it seems utterly hopeless.  Life’s storms can cause emotional and physical exhaustion, chaos, stress and sometimes great loss.  They can leave us feeling hopeless.  However, when the storm is over and we have survived, we need to stop and be thankful.  We need to praise the Lord for bringing us through the storm.  For God did not leave us alone in the storm, He walked with and sometimes carried us through the storm.

 Are storm clouds on the horizon?  Run for the cover of God’s sheltering wings and He will set His angels to guard over you.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

I Could Never Do That

How many of us have ever said, “Oh no! I could never do that!!”

In life there are situations and circumstances that we encounter that stretch us beyond what “we think” that we are capable of doing. If we want to be technical, there is really nothing that we can do in our own strength---at all! We are totally, absolutely, undeniably, unequivocally dependent on Almighty God to even draw our next breath!!

What is it that YOU thought you could never do? Speak in front of a large group? Teach a Sunday School class? Start a ministry to help others? Compete in a marathon? Write a book? Sing a solo at church? Go back to school and get a degree? Fulfill the role of a minister’s wife? Of course, this list could go on and on, depending on your particular “oh no” situation.

The Lord has a very tender and loving way of preparing our hearts for those things that we thought we could never do, and sometimes those monumental tasks are directly related to doing the Lord’s work and sometimes they are not. Yet whatever those desired tasks may be, we all must heed what God’s word says, “…do it all for the glory of God”.
1 Corinthians 10:31
We must certainly honor the Lord in our daily lives and even in those things that we aspire to do, always seeking His will in doing them.

I had an “oh no, I could never do that” event in my life. But my Precious Savior showed me that “oh yes, you can do that”. So for the very first time last school year, I homeschooled my youngest daughter.

In years past I had heard of many families homeschooling, I had talked with families who were successfully homeschooling, and yet I remember feeling that teaching your kids at home would be a very scary and challenging task. Oh, I could never do that! However, the year my daughter was in the fifth grade, I began entertaining the idea--I eagerly wanted to give it a try. My husband and I were being very prayerful about where she should attend middle school, and since private tuition was not an option at the time, the decision to teach her at home became a consuming desire in my heart. So I spoke with other homeschooling families, read books, attended a seminar, researched curriculum, PRAYED A LOT, and took the plunge. I did what I thought I could never do! In fact, my first year went so well that, by God’s grace, I am homeschooling her again this year!

The Lord was so faithful to take away my fears and equip me to teach my daughter, and just as He empowered me to do what I thought was impossible, He can do the same for you. Pray to Him, trust Him, submit to His will, and watch Him work!!

Is there something you think you could never do? Remember we can do all things through Christ who gives us the strength!! Philippians 4:13

Monday, August 12, 2013


We as wives have many roles and numerous responsibilities. Wearing a lot of hats as we navigate the waters of life, we serve at home, in the workplace, in our communities, and at church.

I love to create acronyms; you may have noticed this fact from some of my blogs in the past. So as I was pondering what to write, I thought about creating a very simple acronym for “wife”. I felt compelled to narrow my focus as I thought about a pastor’s wife/minister’s wife since that is what I am and so are many of you. But this can apply to any wife, no matter her calling.
Ladies, here we go………………

W=Worshiper Above all else, we are to be worshipers of the Lord Jesus Christ. He is our life, and we should make our relationship with Him the top priority in our lives. When He is first, all other things should take their proper place. Life may still be chaotic at times, but when we spend time at His feet, praying to Him and reading and studying His word, we are better equipped to live our lives as the wives He has called us to be.

I=Intercessor Ladies, if no one else is interceding for our husbands before the throne of God, it should be us! Pray for him every day, throughout the day, as the Holy Spirit leads you. Intercession is a wonderful ministry that we can have for our husbands as they face the challenges of preaching, teaching, counseling, visiting, and, for some, being bi-vocational. As the Lord shows you his needs and concerns, remember that interceding for your husband is a wonderful privilege; and seeing God answer your prayers on his behalf is a tremendous blessing!

F=Friend We are friends of God since we have been reconciled to Him through His Son. Also, we are our husband’s friend, really his best friend as he is ours. Our husbands need our friendship as they serve in the ministry. They should be able to depend on us to be there when no one else is around. Also,we should be there for them to lean on, pray with, cry with, and celebrate life’s joys with as well.

E=Encourager Other than our Savior, we are to be our husband’s greatest encourager. Support him, defend him, and love him through all that he faces as God uses him to shepherd the flock where He has placed him. Serving in the ministry can be very difficult at times, so encourage him regularly with smiles, hugs, and words of affirmation. Also, encourage him to take some time off occasionally to refresh and relax, since “downtime” will help him to press on and do the work of the Lord.

I hope this gives you some “food for thought” as you live out your God-ordained role of being a wife.

He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Friday, August 9, 2013

Philosophies of Life

Many years ago, my brother typed out his “Philosophies of Life” for his four children and posted them on their bedroom walls. After I started back teaching, I decided to modify them and use them in my classroom.

My brother’s Philosophies of Life were:
1. Life is Not Fair.
2. There is No Such Thing as Free Lunches.
3. Always put God First and Do Your Very Best.
4. Get Over It.

My modified Classroom Philosophies of Life are:
#1. Life’s Not Fair!
#2. Nothing is Free.
#3. Do Your Best!
#4. Get OVER IT!

#1. Life is not fair. It is not fair that I am shorter than most of my students. It is not fair that children get sick and die. It is not fair that people get cancer. It is not fair that sometimes parents divorce, etc.

#2. Nothing is Free. Even the breakfast that is available for all students everyday at school at no cost. Someone somewhere had to pay for the food. Someone’s hard earned money paid for it, so we need to appreciate and respect everything because nothing is free.

#3. Always do your very best. Your best may be better than someone else’s or it might not be as good as someone else’s, but the important thing is: No Matter WHAT you are doing, ALWAYS do the VERY BEST you can to.

#4. Get over it. Life deals all of us a bad card at different times. Sometimes we lose a loved one to death. Sometimes we get hurt or sick. Sometimes bad things happen. BUT, regardless of our “cards”, we MUST not let it control our lives. We MUST realize it is what it is and pick up the pieces and become and stronger and better person in the process.

I guess we could all benefit by following the philosophies of life.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

School Daze....

School Daze......

No.  I did not misspell it.....at the beginning of school, we are always in a daze.  Smile.

Right now, in Tennessee, all teachers are experiencing mixed emotions.  If the pressure of the TEST SCORES were not enough......now they are trying to cut our salaries, etc.  The field of education is treading on thin ice right now.  I mean....who do we believe?  What are the answers?  How can ALL children learn, etc.

No matter how great a teacher is.....the result of the tests depend on what the child is going through or has been going through in his/her personal lives.  We can not control what goes on at home.  We can not control the mood of the child.....

Sometimes it seems hopeless.....

THEN.....I stop and take a deep breath.  From the bottom of my heart, I do not believe anyone should go into teaching for the money.....or for the summer vacations.  (Let's face it.....money is not great and summer vacations get shorter every year.) 

 A teacher should have a special CALLING.  He/she should feel led to go into education.  It is not about the money................and it is not about the test scores.  It is about making a difference in children's lives.

Teachers must stop and remember:  you may be the ONLY positive role model in that child's life.  YOU can make a difference.  You are important.

I am a public school teacher so I am writing this in reference to them.....BUT it also applied to Sunday School teachers.  You MUST have a calling from God and have a love and compassion for the children.

Even if you do not feel like God is calling you to be a teacher....the concept can also be applied to anything that God is calling you to do.  If it is your passion and your calling....regardless of what it is, pour your entire heart into it and do the best you can and God will bless you.

Many times, even as Christians, we loose our focus.  Being a pastor's wife is NOT a glamorous job.  It is not even a job that gets a lot of positive recognition.  Many times it is a position that is filled with judgment and criticism.  We are pastors' wives because that is what God called us to be.  Our focus should be on pleasing God and not pleasing man.
Pour your entire heart and soul into the calling and God will bless you

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Miracle #2

God is sooo Good!!!  A year and a half ago, the Fertility Specialists told our daughter that IF she would go through one more very expensive series of shots, she would have less than 10% chance of ever conceiving a child.  Without it, her chances were zero.

She said financially and mentally, she could not continue on, so she went back to her  midwife who told her that they were only physicians.  She said, "You and I know the Great Physician."

November 28, 2012, Miracle #1 was born.  Then the doctors told her that with her health condition (PCOS) it was a miracle that she got pregnant the first time and if she wanted any other children, the longer she waited the less her chances, and even at that, it would still take a miracle.

I am very proud to report that February 2014, God will be blessing them with Miracle #2.  Last Wednesday, I was privileged to go with her to her doctor visit and hear the beautiful heartbeat of Miracle #2.

Many have told our daughter how "hard" it will be having babies only 14 months apart.  She just smiles and says.....IT'S A MIRACLE...once again....and I praise God everyday!!!

Please keep our daughter, Kacie and Miracle #2 in your prayers.  With Miracle #1, she developed Gestational Diabetes.  After the birth, it did not totally go away; she is pre-diabetic due to her PCOS.  She is really watching her sugar this time and we are praying, once again for a healthy mom and healthy baby.  Because of her health, she will have to have a C-section.

Please join us in prayer.

God is so Good. 

Monday, August 5, 2013



Friday, the teachers started back to school.  Tomorrow the students come for half a day and Thursday we jump right into the swing of full-time school.

Whewwwww.........where did the summer go?  I had soooo many projects I planned to complete and so many things to do.......but the time got away from me.  We got out of school the last week of May.....and the next week we jumped into Vacation Bible School......and it seems as if it has been non-stop since then.

I had good intentions.  I even mapped out my plans in my mind.  BUT....I never got around to it.

My husband and I signed up for Bible Classes last fall through Liberty Bible College.  We were excited.  We knew it would be something we could do together and we would really enjoy as we learned.  We had great intentions.  BUT.....we did not take into consideration all of our previous obligations:  church, our secular jobs, our families out of town, our children, deaths in the church, weddings in the church, etc.

Monthly, we make payments....paying for the Bible Courses that we committed to.......but almost a year later and we have still not started them.  Isn't that awful!!!  I am almost ashamed to admit it.

We had great intentions.....But we never followed through.

I always plan to send Sympathy Cards to hurting folks, but I am ashamed to say....many times, I have good intentions, but I never follow through.

It is almost time for my yearly medical check-up.  Last year, I decided that I would start eating healthier, add more exercise and lose some weight.  A year has past.  I had great intentions...............but I never followed through.

The list could go on and on of "great intentions" that I "never got around to it".

People all around us "intend" to get their lives right with the Lord.  They "intend" to get saved.  However, people, every day are dying and going to hell.  Most of those people had great intentions......they just never got around to it.

Are there things that you have "never got around to it?"  Let's work hard to shorten our lists of "good intentions" and change them to "good deeds."

It is Time to GET AROUND TO IT!!!

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Diary Versus Journal

What is the difference between a diary and a journal?  Or is there a difference?  Questions wondering minds like mine want to know!!  For me, there is a difference between the two.  Before I proceed….I must say that I am not a writer.  I don’t like to write.  I have not been a good diary-er or a good journal-er or for that matter, a good blog-er!!  Keep all of that in mind as you read!!
When I was a teenager my mother gave me a diary….you have seen the kind….the one with the tab across the pages that you can lock so that little (or big) brothers or parents or sisters cannot read your deepest, darkest secrets.  She told me how important it was for me to keep a diary….after all she did and so should I!  I recently discovered that diary and flipping through the pages I read life changing entries like these:

February 11—Joe asked me to go to valentines dance

April 28—found out I didn’t make drill team

May 3—Brenda had a party.  I had a wonderful time.  Love mike!!!  Oh guess what?  Jerry asked Carol to go steady!!!

June 6—Ronda’s party was fun. Just a few girls. When we went to Dairy Queen I got in trouble.

July 8—At summer school David kissed me in the hall upstairs in the high school.  I like him so much!!

December 8—Paul asked me to go steady. Told him I’d think about it.  Think I should?  Yes!  OK! Ha!

December 24—broke up with Paul
Changed your life reading it didn’t it?  I am amazed at how focused I was on boys and how many teenage girls today are no different!! You can see that God was not a part of my life then, in fact, I knew nothing about Him at that time and so it is no surprise that there was nothing about desiring to marry a pastor!! 

Those entries were about what I did, who I did it with, and maybe just a little bit about how I felt—but not much.  Bottom line—it was all about me!!  Those few diaries that I wrote in during my teenage years were the last ones I wrote in.  Fast forward many years and I hear about journaling.  I had not done any journaling.  My diary experience haunted me and honestly wanted nothing to do with journaling.
Soon the Lord convicted me that I needed to write about Him….what He was teaching me, what I was learning.  It was to be a conversation with Him….prayers expressing my desires, dreams, pain—all of it. 

To me, a diary is about what I did, who I did it with, where I went and maybe how I felt about it.  A journal is about what God did and is doing, conversations with Him, and the journey with Him!  The diary is about me—the journal is about Him.
As I was going through my parents things this month, I found and read my mom’s diaries….I learned much about my childhood—some things I had no idea had happened.  Some brought sweet memories.  Some brought tears and regrets.  I am thankful she wrote them and I am still pondering whether or not I am glad that I read them.  However, my mom did not have a journal.  She did not have a God story.

What will you leave for those coming after you to read?  To be honest, the thought of anyone reading any of my journals gives me diarrhea!!  Part of me wants to instruct a really good friend to come and destroy every journal I have as soon as I die….part of me wants the good, the bad and the ugly of my life to live on.  What about you?