Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Do It Afraid!!

What are you afraid of?



                        The Unknown?

                                    Being Alone?

                                                Going there alone?

                                                            Speaking in public?

                                                                        Praying in public?

                                                                                    The dentist?


                                                                                                            Enclosed Spaces?





                                    Driving at night?



Everyone is afraid of something!  Isn’t that comforting to know that we all struggle with fears??  Now granted, many of the fears we struggle with are irrational….and it is difficult to unearth the root causes…..but fear, whether rational or irrational, is fear!!  Many times it is paralyzing and it rarely does any good for people to tell us to 'not be afraid'!  If it was that easy to not be afraid, no one would be afraid!!  Nope, not that easy!

Our granddaughter, Anne, is afraid of dogs.  All sizes…all kinds.  Small, medium or large—at the sighting she runs to the nearest adult and/or chair to climb on.  Recently, she has gotten bolder and if the dog is on a leash, she simply freezes instead of running away.  Progress!

When my brother came to visit with his dog Cooper, Anne, over a period of time, became less and less afraid….to the point of actually touching Cooper when he was fast asleep!  I kept telling her over and over, "do it afraid, Anne, do it afraid!"


I am terrified of heights.  I cannot tell you how many times I would go completely out of my way in Dallas, Texas to keep from driving over a very tall bridge that was on my route to Tennessee.  Ridiculous.  Insane.  Crazy!

Last month my husband and I took a much needed vacation to Park City, Utah!  In case you might have forgotten….that was where much of the 2003 winter Olympics were held.  Lots of mountains.  Beautiful aspen trees changing.  Breathtaking sights.  But the best of the best sights...were on the top of the mountain….and to get there….you had to take the gondola.  Up.  Up.  Up.

I desperately wanted to see the creation God painted…and my husband really, really wanted to go….and so, I decided to do it afraid!

I gripped the handrail.  I pressed myself up against my husband.  I kept my eyes directly ahead.  I rode the gondola up the very, very high mountain.  Fearful?  Yes!  but I did it afraid and I am so glad I did!!

Once I got to the top….and off of the swinging torture chamber….I marveled at the beauty all around me! 

It occurred to me as I stood up on that mountain that I miss out on a lot of amazing, beautiful, God-kinds of things when I let fear make my decisions. 

Sometimes we just need to do it afraidand watch how God uses us or blesses us or speaks to us or who-knows-what!!!

So, my friend….what are you afraid of?  Pray.  Then…Do it afraid!! Tell your children to do it afraid!

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Divorce, Deception, or Death

I am always talking to ministers’ wives and asking for blog ideas.  Let’s face it there are only so many ways I can tie chocolate into ministry life.  I did have one sister share a good idea for a blog so here goes.

When you are dealing with another church with the potential of making a move, how do you feel?  This sweet sister said that with their last move she and her husband felt different emotions.  Her husband felt that it was “like a divorce or a betrayal.”  He really could not share with their current church that he was “talking” with another church.  For our sister in ministry, she said felt that they were being “deceptive.”  She also had no one to talk to other than her husband.  She added that she had to force herself to “continue blooming” where God had them planted at the time and not show that God was preparing them to be transplanted elsewhere.

When I read her message about this idea, I had to sit back and think on my own experiences.  To be honest, I had never really considered it.  I guess I was too tied up in the excitement of God working.
However, I think I would have to describe my feelings as a death.

When God moves us to a new ministry, my heart absolutely breaks with grief.  I am a pastor’s wife who strongly believes her church family is her family.  How can you not walk with people through births, baptisms, illness and death and not be emotionally attached?  For me, it is just not possible.  Having just walked though the valley of death by losing both my parents, I can honestly say that leaving a church family is like death.  I must go through the stages of grief-shock, numbness, anger, and acceptance.  The pain does subside and I soon plug in to the new ministry.  However, just as I miss my parents terribly, I miss my previous church family.  The comfort for me is in knowing that God’s plan is best and that one day I will spend eternity with all the church families we have served.

So ladies here are a couple of questions I would love for you to answer.

1.        How does your husband deal with the emotions of leaving a church and what does it feel like to him?
2.       How does leaving a church feel to you and how do you deal with the emotions?
3.       What about your children?  What are their emotions and how do you help with deal with a move?

I really would love for you to respond to these questions and have some good discussion.  I know my sister who asked for this blog idea would love to hear your responses.

Monday, October 13, 2014

Ministry First

Have you ever experienced a  "first" in your ministry life?  A time that blew you away, surprised you or shocked you?  I recently posed this question to some fellow sisters in ministry.  Let me share one of the first with you.

One sister shared about the first baptism at their new church plant and how Jesus literally rescued the new convert.  The individual being baptized was a Hispanic woman.  She wrote out her salvation story to be read by the person who led her to Christ.  The church learned that day that this new sister in Christ was about to commit suicide the very day her friend called and told her about Jesus.  What an amazing first in ministry!

My "first" in the ministry took place at our first church out of seminary.  We were the new "kids" and very naive.  When the church took the vote to call us, the members placed their votes in a small 3 x 5 metal box which looked much like my mom's recipe box.

A couple of weeks later at the end of our very first Sunday at the our new church, the chairman of the deacon body and who was also the chairman of the pulpit committee came forward.  The man was a huge cowboy-over six feet tall, 250 plus pounds, big hat and cowboy boots.  With his booming voice, he called our then family of three to the front of the church and handed me the "box."  I started shaking because I thought they were "de-calling" us.  This gentleman then announced the church was giving us an old fashion pounding.

As I said we were VERY naive.  My heart skipped a beat and I held my ten month son very tight.  Ladies, this young pastor's wife was raised in the city and had never heard of a pounding except for a fight.  My blonde brain started picturing the members passing through a line and "pounding" us.

Thankfully, my first was a blessing.  Our kitchen was well stocked with more flour, sugar, and noodles than you could image.  Oh, and the metal box contained recipes from all the sweet families in the church.

So ladies, what is one of your "first" in ministry?

By the way, the metal box is still part of my kitchen accessories and shares a reminder that there are always first in ministry life.

Friday, October 10, 2014

Ten Years As A Pastor's Wife

This past first Sunday marked a milestone in our lives. It has been ten years that my husband has been a pastor and I have been a pastor’s wife. However, we have been a ministry couple for a total of 17 years, since 1997 when my husband accepted his call to be a minister of the gospel.

I remember when my husband came to me and told me he was sensing a strong calling from the Lord to proclaim His Word; we had been married 4 years and at the time we were parents of a one-year old daughter. I accepted the news with a calm spirit, not yelling, kicking, or screaming, as I have heard some wives share as they recall similar conversations with their spouses. In my mind I always had the attitude that wherever the Lord was leading my husband, then I was sure to follow. I always felt that his calling was genuine, that Jesus Christ had called him to the ministry, and not that he called himself.

I have experienced a lot in these ten years, as I am sure many of you have as well. As clergy wives, we have all seen our share of the joys of ministry: salvation experiences and subsequent baptisms, weddings, births, graduations, and other joyous celebrations. We also witness some of the sorrows of ministry: marriages gone sour, illnesses, deaths, long-time church members leaving (which can almost feel like experiencing a death since we grieve) and the list could go on. The wonderful saints in our churches become like family to us as we build relationships and enjoy fellowships that we will cherish for the rest of our lives.

The Lord also teaches us to love the whiners and complainers, those looking for the “perfect church”. Maybe one day they will figure out that there is no such thing, but in the meantime, Jesus wants us to be patient and gracious to these individuals (after all, isn’t He patient and gracious to us when we whine and complain?).

Also, my husband and I have been at the same church for the entire ten years; I can’t imagine how it must feel to grow so close to a church family and then have to move away and start all over again, as I know some of you have done. Yet when we belong to Christ, all lives are not our own. We have to be willing to move and move again if necessary if our Savior leads us to new places of service.

Pastor’s wife, look back and celebrate all that the Lord has done through you as you have served Him in this role. As I stated earlier, ministry has its joys and sorrows, but it is a tremendous blessing to be used by the Lord. Be faithful, keep serving, and one day long to hear our Father say, “Well done, good and faithful servant!”

Tuesday, October 7, 2014


For me, this past year has brought a whirlwind of emotions and changes. In the midst of it all, there were times that I have felt quite overwhelmed! Life is a series of ups and downs, joys and sorrows, familiar routines and unknown territories, and TRANSITIONS. Oh yes, transitions are inevitable, and they can sometimes feel like a rollercoaster ride!

In the last six months, I have had some significant transitions involving my children…………………

I shared in a blog last year that I had begun the journey of homeschooling our youngest daughter. It was a decision that was entered into with much prayer and preparation, and both me and my husband (and of course my daughter) were in full agreement about the Lord’s calling in this endeavor. Well, some callings are for a season. This past spring, May 23 to be exact, we had our last class together at home. It was a sad time for me, and yes I cried. But just as the decision to start homeschooling was not a flippant one, the decision to cease homeschooling was not flippant as well.

Homeschooling was always a “let’s take it year-by-year” situation, and during the course of this last school year it was decided by all for her to go back into a traditional school setting. These past two school years were a success academically and a blessing spiritually. I got the wonderful privilege of being my daughter’s teacher, as well as her mom, and we drew closer to one another. This has been a season of my life I will always cherish. I can honestly say that this transition went well; she has adjusted quite nicely to her new school. Praise the Lord for that!

There also has been another significant transition: sending my oldest daughter to college. Thankfully, she’s not too far away, and she does live on campus. However, the months leading up to this change were very hard. My husband and I had to deal with some extremely rebellious behavior from her, and we were very broken hearted over some of her actions. (Some of you who have raised teenagers know exactly what I am talking about!)

But God……..

God is a healer, restorer, reconciler, comforter, and so much more! By God’s grace I am extremely grateful that much of that rebellion is behind her, and that the Lord has been working in her life. We have seen changes in her that only Christ could bring about. Praise the Lord for that!

As a result of these transitions, I have experienced the Lord doing His work in my heart. I believe transitions are also a part of our growing up in Christ. So when your transitions (good or bad) come, allow the Lord to stretch, bend, and mold you. We can be sure that we won’t break because our Father knows just how much pressure to apply to produce the likeness of His Son in us.

I look forward to what He is going to do in this next season of life. Yes, transitions are inevitable; it’s how we handle them that make all the difference!

Friday, October 3, 2014

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Weakest Link

Our church has been doing great....growing in numbers and in the Lord.  Along with growth, come THE DEVIL.  He is NEVER happy when a church is doing well, so he will always show up somewhere.

During these storms, it is easy to get really upset with "people".  One thing that I have learned over our ministry is, don't be angry with the "people" or "person" that is stirring the pot.....PRAY FOR THEM.  The only way Satan can cause problems inside a dedicated church is to use someone internally.  Therefore, he will search out and use the weakest Christian he can find and by working through them, he can cause some damage...especially if we allow him to.

The battle is with Satan........not necessarily the individual.  PRAY for Him/Her.  She/he is allowing Satan to use them to stir the pot and cause problems.  PRAY and stick not give up and try not to get discouraged.  Battling Satan is hard, but if he is attacking that strong, it must mean that your church is doing things pleasing to God and Satan is torn up.

Do not let one bad apple spoil the entire bunch......if you have to, get rid of it.  Sometimes the tree needs pruned so new life can grow.  Life is too short to fight internal battles...........we have more important things to winning lost souls.

REMEMBER......SATAN is the enemy.....not the person but the person is guilty of allowing Satan to work through them.  


Do not allow Satan and one weak Christian tear down God's work.