My "How-To" for Intimacy With God

I am learning how to cook.

Don't get me wrong, I can follow a recipe. I can measure our ingredients and set timers. I have a subscription to "Southern Living" and at least three Pinterest boards dedicated to organizing my culinary dreams. I peruse my collection of Pioneer Woman cookbooks to find something new to try.

Yet, I often find myself intimidated to alter a published, proven recipe to make it my own. I appreciate the step-by-step instructions that "should" lead to proven success.

My husband is a great cook. As we watch the Food Network and the Cooking Chanel, he gleans ideas and methods to try and experiment with. He will see flavor combinations and want to try new things. He might consult a recipe or two, but he will concoct something on his own adding a dash of this with a bit of that. It is usually delicious.

I am afraid of messing it up. I don't want to waste the ingredients or the money spent on them. Plus, if the dish is a success, how will I ever know how to repeat it? The fear is real, but I am gaining confidence and and faith in myself as I am learning to overcome it.

Not only am I a recipe follower, I am also a list maker and a rule follower. I appreciate being able to cross things off my to-do list and to know exactly what is expected of me in any given situation. Whether it is a recipe, a list or a rule - I can respect the planning, the preparation and the procedure prescribed to bring about the desired result . . .

Intersect that with what God has been showing me this week - a calling to be intimate with Him.

I long for a method described in a book that will lead me to simply embrace being with Him, or at least accurately describes what that looks like for me. I know that these resources exist and I trust that by His good graces, He is already showing me points to start at and places to continue from.

However, intimacy with God is a deeply personal and individual journey - with a clear beginning and definite end. For all of us Christ-followers, our origin stories will have definitive similarities and our eventual destination is all the same. Yet, this middle part we are in now is as unique as our Creator-given DNA.

There is no proven recipe to follow.

There is no list that will produce the desired outcome.

There is no set of rules that will not preclude into legalism.

So, how do we learn to be with God instead of just doing things for Him?

I can't speak for you and your journey, but I can try to share what God is showing me for mine. .  .

First, He has impressed upon me a need to embrace quiet. I wrote about that in my first blog post of the week.

Then in the silences this week, He has impressed upon me a need to listen and to learn. When my attention is on Him, He shows me scriptures in a new light. He reveals ways to apply His truth. He allows me to experience more of who He is.

Specifically, as He has led me into a deeper intimacy with Him and I have loved it! It has been literally soul-gratifying and freeing.

What has this intimacy produced?

When I dump the distraction of lesser things and deny the demands of my hectic, fast passed life:  He has revealed to me my dependence on recipes for success. He has shown me my addiction to that feeling of accomplishment when I cross items off my to-do list. He has allowed me to see areas of my life where I have been striving to meet my own expectations of the rules I have set up for myself.

It is unsettling for me to not have a plan to pursue a deeper intimacy with God. Yes, I can put myself in places to hear from Him. I can practice spiritual disciplines, but I realize that it is only by His grace that these things I do will bring about the closeness that I desire.

It is honestly a little scary for me to forsake list making. However, I realize that in order to just "be" or "live" in the moment, I have to sacrifice my perceived need of getting the next thing done -because, let's face it, there is always a "next thing."

That small adrenaline rush of crossing off that item comes with a sense of personal accomplishment that can easily and temporarily replace that God-given thirst I have for Christ.

Only He can finish what He began in me. I can't follow the rules enough. I can't do enough good in His name. I can't be what I require of myself to serve Him. My attempts only fuel the dreaded to-do list. It is a vicious cycle ---

In the silence, God calls me to rest and to realize my identity in Him. It is in this intimacy, this realization that I can simply  -  be. with. God.

So, enough with the recipe. So much for the list. Goodbye rules - for now I am learning to trust, not in me, or what I do, but in Him and in Him alone.

I am learning how to be intimate with my God.