Quiet Intimacy

Living in a house with three kids, there is rarely a moment's silence.

Even after bedtimes, the television drones, the washing machine moans and the dishwasher whirls. (I am thankful it doesn't whine! I hear enough of that without the inanimate objects joining in!)

I have found even in the rare moments that I find myself alone in the car, I struggle with the quiet. I turn the radio on -even if just to zone out to the sports talk station that my husband left on the dial.

When doing housework or even writing I appreciate some sort of background noise. It's true, at times it helps me focus on the task at hand. But, other times I must confess it serves as more of a distraction from a greater task that God may be impressing upon me.

What is that impression? I am learning it demands the ultimate focus and a willingness to delve into hard things- rolling up my sleeves, shedding some tears and facing fears.  In the quiet I find Him gently impressing me to press into Him.

I heard a great devotion this morning from a man serving as a biblical counselor with over 40 years experience as a pastor. He expanded for us the definition of the word "intimacy." In his counseling of married couples, he was finding many of them had intimacy issues that were far more challenging then what was transpiring in their bedrooms. In his research and study he had learned that real intimacy is knowing and being fully known by someone else. He said he was surprised to learn the lack of true intimacy within these marital relationships.

In Ephesians, Paul equates the martial relationship as a metaphor of Christ's relationship with us, His church. He calls this relationship a great mystery and so it is. This type of intimacy is the same type of relationship that God wants to establish with us, His children. - with me, His child.

Here's the thing that gets me - that is simply beyond my understanding. He already knows me. Psalm 139 says that in the first verse: He has searched me and He knows me. Before a word is even on my tongue, He knows it completely.

So where does this intimacy between God and I fall short? Where is the weak link?

The devotion this morning also included this thought - we are as close to God as we chose to be.

He doesn't fail to be intimate. I do.

Yes, I am busy. I would even say most of the time I am busy doing things for Him - but am I doing them with Him?

Far to easily my Bible study becomes merely one more thing on my to-do list. I breeze over the pages of my Bible without really comprehending what I read, much less stopping to try to apply it. My prayers become one-way conversations at best, but could probably be better described as a laundry list of wishes.

It is in the quiet - when I allow the quiet to invade my busy - that God gently calls me deeper. He is beckoning me to seek Him, to know Him more, to know Him more intimately. Honestly, many times I don't like the quiet. I don't really want to hear what He will tell me in His still small voice.

I know that if I accept that invitation to become more intimate with Him, His Spirit will expose more of me to me. Sins, failures, shames, insecurities, will be exposed in the Light of His Righteousness. Those things He wants to free me from, those things He already knows about -but in my distracted, noisy, busy lifestyle I try to push aside and gloss over and pretend that they don't exist.

It is SO much easier to be busy, to be distracted, to zone out - yet when I give into those temptations, I sacrifice the intimacy I was made to crave and that can only truly satisfy me.

He tells us to take up our cross and follow Him. An intimate relationship with Him is costly.

He tells us to seek Him first. An intimate relationship with Him cannot be realized without being willing to be vulnerable with our Creator.

He tells us that we are a new creation in Him. An intimate relationship with Him is how He is renewing us with His new mercies every morning.

For me, I striving to turn off the background noise -even the praise music that's on repeat, so I can hear the quiet. I am trying to really listen to what He is saying to me. I am confessing that I have resembled my teenaged daughter's tendency to be physically in a room but completely tuned out in every other capacity. I am praying to seek the intimacy that can only be found in my embracing the literal quiet.

Being still and knowing He is God is taking on a new meaning to me this week. I am hoping to share more of this journey with you as write . . . Please pray for me to embrace the quiet and grow intimacy with God. Please know that this is my prayer for you too. . .