Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Just Be You

I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well.” Psalm 139:14

My sisters, every now and then we, as pastors’ and ministers’ wives, need a reminder or maybe a little bit of encouragement to assure us that we are who we are and there is NO possible way we can please everybody in our churches. Ladies, we are in awesome company, because even our Lord and Savior, who was and is perfect in every way, didn’t please the masses. In fact, the religious leaders in His day were constantly finding fault with just about all that He said or did, and He is King of kings and Lord of lords! So, don’t let us think that we will escape the fault-finders and the criticism that come as a part of what it means to be a wife in ministry.

In my blog this month, I just want to give a few edifying encouragements, because at times people can be really insensitive or down right mean. This is nothing new, just a dose of comfort if you are feeling discouraged.


When people don’t like you, remember you can love them. Sometimes you’ve done all you know to do to be kind and compassionate, and to show the love of Christ to all, yet hearts are cold. Pray and love on them anyway; it’s the Lord’s job to change hearts. Only He can do the impossible. “We love because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19

When people try to pressure you into doing something you are not called to do, remember the gifts that the Lord has given you to serve Him. Sometimes we have to say, “No”; that’s not always easy in the church, but it is necessary when we want to truly be in God’s will. A “good cause” may not be your “cause”. Church members sometimes expect the pastor's wife to do everything in the church—play the piano, sing in the choir, serve in the nursery, teach Sunday School, and so on. Whoa! That’s not possible! It’s unfair to put those expectations on anyone! “Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit.” “But one and the same Spirit works all these things, distributing to each one individually just as He wills.” 1 Corinthians 12: 4,11

When people say critical things about you, your husband, and your kids, remember that no family on the face of the planet is perfect, and the same people who lash out with hurtful comments have issues and dysfunctions in their own families. We all have trials and sufferings that we go through in life---pastors’ families are not exempt! Our Father is still doing a sanctifying work in all of us, and one day we all will be conformed into the image of His Son. “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6

When you feel lonely and don’t think anyone understands your unique role in the church, remember God called you to be your husband’s support, to love him and pray for him. A pastor’s wife sees and hears things and experiences situations that no other person does. Use your calling in His kingdom to influence others for good. “Only, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk. And so I direct in all the churches.” 1 Corinthians 7:17

One day we will be perfect, we will have our new glorious bodies, not subject to growing old, sickness, or decay (aren’t we all looking forward to that!). Yet until then, let us allow God to work on us with our imperfections, flaws, and blemishes. Remember you are fearfully and wonderfully made! One day we will be like Christ; for now let us be patient with ourselves, and with our critics until that day arrives

So, my precious sisters, just be you!

1 comment:

Kathy Britton said...

Tonya....SOOOOO TRUE. We CAN NOT possibly do EVERYTHING in the church and should not be expected to. I have to remind myself every once in a while that it is okay to say "NO".