Recent Forced Reality Check

I had known for about a week that the end was inevitable.

All the signs were there and I had confided in a few close friends and family members that it wouldn't be long.

I doubt the end was painful, but it was hard to watch all the same.

It was last Thursday night.

My cell phone flickered its last and died.

Two other times it had been ill and had received a second and then a third chance at life with the purchase and installation of a new battery from the local cell phone repair shoppe.

This time, I weighed the cost of yet another battery, considered that it's life span of well over four years had long since surpassed its life expectancy, and finally came to accept a hard truth: I needed to purchase a new cell phone.

However, I could not drop the weekend's activities and run to our local AT&T storefront. It would have to wait until Saturday evening....

Not feeling too excited about committing to an increase of our monthly cell bill, nor wanting to truly tax my brain to shop for the best deal or compare the 6 to the 7 with whatever letters may follow - I donned my big girl pants and went for it.

Cody was a nice enough salesman. He showed me my options and gave me space to think them through. He even apologized on behalf of the company for not being able to offer me any special deals that did not include changing our cable provider, despite over ten years of company loyalty and good standing (I'm not that bitter; I promise!).

Sure enough, the new phone I chose was the one item that wasn't in stock. It had to be ordered. The good news was that they would ship it to me for free. The bad news was that it probably wouldn't arrive at my doorstep until Wednesday....

Sigh....

So, for a solid week I have been without my fifth appendage, my smart phone.

At first, I had that feeling you get when you forget to put on the watch or that ring you ALWAYS wear.

The feeling turned in to a very vulnerable, exposed feeling - like I was missing a more "important" article of clothing.

Then I began to feel left out as a watched friends receive and text at various levels of importance, messages and pictures. Some were looking up trivial information while still others were getting updates on the natural disaster beginning to unfold in Texas. I was missing much more than the device..... Or was I?

After a day or two of forced cell phone hiatus, those initial feelings subsided and I began to feel as though a weight had been lifted, the noose I hadn't realized was there, loosened. I guess it took a detox of sorts.

No, I couldn't pick up the phone and call anyone. But not just anyone could get a hold of me either. Yes, I could still get text messages through the infamous "cloud" if my laptop is connected - but I found I did not miss the ringing, buzzing, and pinging of various alerts and notifications.

I had always said that I owned my phone, that it didn't own me, but these last few days have shown me how very deceived I was.

There has been nothing that has been THAT important that I have missed. I am sure I have lost out on seeing some great pics on Instagram, but I never realized the cost to view them was so very high.

I have been more present with my family and my friends. My thoughts have not been interrupted with a Fox News Alert. I have felt empowered by not allowing the information of this age to bombard me on its own terms.

Yes, I have texted. I have scrolled through Facebook. I have had to be intentional to think ahead a little - BUT I have done all of that on my terms, not enslaved to the pocket-sized rectangle that I carry everywhere.

As I set up my new phone, I am changing some settings. There are some things out there that I definitely don't need to be among the first to know. There are some rules of use I am going to employ as well.

God has definitely shown me that I have stunted some relationships by letting my phone rule over me. Instead, I prayerfully am submitting myself to be a good steward of this "tool" to be used and not allow it to use me . . .

He has also gently exposed my dependance upon this distraction. Instead of pondering that passage I read this morning in scripture or praying for my friend as I said I would - I have disengaged from the real world to escape into a world of lesser things, including meaningless and mindless games. I have sacrificed a deeper understanding of hard truths for literally feeling alone in a room full of other people.

Is there anyone else out there who has been forced to disconnect even a little?  How did it make you feel? Did you make any changes when you could reengage? Were you able to hear a little more of what God was impressing upon your heart? What guidelines or accountability did you implement?

Overall, I have had a great reality check. I am not that important. Some things really can wait. I refuse to give Satan an intentional foothold on my heart through a morally neutral piece of far eastern manufactured technology....