He Did It For You And Me

Passion Week…It was quite an eventful week for our Lord and Savior as He drew closer to the agony and death on the cross. It was a death that He would experience because of His lavish love for you and for me.

As I reflected on Passion Week, I thought about:

• The Upper Room Discourse, where the Lord promises to send the Holy Spirit to teach, guide, and comfort us. That same night our Savior prayed (John 17) an awesome prayer, not only for the disciples that were with Him, but also for those of us who are His followers today.

• The awful betrayal by Judas and the unjust trials that produced false witnesses and false testimonies.

• The excruciating physical torture of our King, stripped and beaten beyond recognition, a crown of thorns placed on His head, spat on, beaten with a reed, mocked, and treated with contempt.

It all culminated at the cross, where Jesus hung for several hours, naked and bloodied, the first time in all eternity separated from the Father, enduring it all to pay for the sins of the entire world. My words are not adequate to fully describe the passion of our Savior. Out of His glorious love, He did it for you and for me.

The true meaning of Easter is not egg hunts, baskets of candy and toys, bunnies, or wearing new clothes.

The true meaning of Easter is the incomprehensible love of God, sending His Beloved Son to die for the sins of wicked, evil, sinful humanity.

AND...

The Resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ, raised to life, conquering sin and death for all time, securing a place in heaven for all who believe in Him as Lord and Savior for the forgiveness of sin.

WOW! Meditate on this marvelous truth during Passion Week, and remember He did it for you and for me!!

Halleluiah to the Lamb of God!!!

We Love You LANA ROSE.....

We LOVE you Lana Rose............you have done sooo much for the TN Baptist.....the wives, this blog, secretaries, VBS ....just to mention a small portion.

I am happy for you, but said to see you leave.  I know that this year....in fact the last few years have been tough years for you.  You have lost many, many loved ones through death.

I will miss your leadership.............but most of all, I will miss your friendship and fellowship.  I will miss your encouragement and your vote of confidence.

Late nights the end of January in Music Road Hotel lobby will never be the same.

Thank you for loving US and loving our husbands.......who many times gave you a hard time.  WE ALL LOVE YOU and will miss you.

Enjoy your retirement.............you deserve it.  You have devoted your life to helping others.....................it is LANA TIME now.  Take care of your "fur baby" and don't forget us CrAzIeS in Tennessee.

 

LATE NIGHT....at Music Road Hotel!!!

 

CrAzY TeNnEsSeE WeAtHeR

Welcome to Tennessee!

Folks were wearing sandals and short sleeves the first of the week. 
Monday night folks were dodging tornadoes.
Tuesday was the first day of Spring.
Wednesday morning, some places had snow.
Thursday morning and Friday morning we were under a Freeze Warning.
And Saturday is supposed to be much warmer and thunder storms.

Go figure!

How are we to switch out our winter clothes for summer clothes?  NOT.  Not is Tennessee.....you have to keep those closets crammed full because at any given day, who knows what you will need to wear.

On a brighter note.......aren't we blessed?  We DO have different "weather".....some places have the same ole same ole all year long.

We have it all......except, very little snow..........but, then again, that is probably a blessing too.

God is good to us and we have so much to be thankful for.

I am thankful that God chose for me to live in Tennessee. 
I am thankful for my family.
I am thankful for my church family.
I am thankful for my friends.
I am thankful for all of the people that God puts in my path each and every day.

God is good......and He loves you..........and so do I.  I

I Met Beth Moore aka Vickie Lee

Okay.........we are busy, busy, busy...........especially this year with our crazy last six months.  However, one year ago, I promised Lana Rose that I would do everything in my power to attend the Minister's Wives Retreat this year........it was at Dolly's DreamMore Resort and it was Lana's last year.

Because I teach school and because we are very involved in the state Bi-Vo group......I do not have enough days to take off to attend the Good Cup or any of the other wonderful sessions offered to wives during the year.

And....because I do not get to attend those, many times I feel isolated because I do not get to mingle with any wives that are not BiVo wives.

I got to go to the Retreat in March..............and it was JUST WHAT THE DOCTOR ORDERED.  (I was stressed and worn out............because of Blow #1 and Blow #2.......Blow #3 had not been revealed at this time.....)  I really enjoyed the weekend and fellowshipping with other ladies that were all on similar paths.....wives of pastors, moms, Mimi's, etc.  It was VERY refreshing.

AND......I got to met BETH MOORE...aka Vickie Lee.  Smile.  See....way back when Lana asked me to blog for the TN PRIME RIB and to represent the BiVo wives..............I said....so there are four Beth Moores and then there is Kathy.  Well.....I finally met in person one of the Beth Moores.

And....Vickie....I want to tell you it was a pleasure to meet you.  I discovered that you are almost as big of a NUT as me.  Smile.   

At the retreat......I met several new friends who I plan to stay in contact with.  One dear friend lives on Tybee Island.....and several live in West Tennessee, etc.


I REALLY needed that weekend.  Wives....I know we are all busy, but I challenge you to FELLOWSHIP MORE with other Pastor Wives.  The Retreat was one week before we received Blow #3.  God KNEW I would need the fuel from the retreat to help me crawl through the following weekend.

WE NEED GOD............but we also NEED EACH OTHER.

The Road Traveled....

Honestly....I do not mean to sound like I am complaining....I just wanted to you sort of see the road we are and have been traveling..........in case some of you are experiencing similar situations.....

• September - Found out Roger's secular job of 20+ years was ending because they were out-sourcing to a company in India.
• End of October - Blow #1.  (When we got socked in the face....dealing with something we have never dealt with personally or with other folks...something I will eventually share....because we all know I am an open book....but right now I am not at liberty to do so.)
• November 11th - Roger's last day of secular work, so our combined income was decreased by 2/3.
• January 2018 - discovered that my shoulder pain was not due to tennis elbow...it is a secondary issue....got a cortisone shot in my shoulder and began Physical Therapy for a month.
• End of January....Blow #2.  (Which compounded with Blow #1.......)
• First of February - I'm being sent to a spine and neck specialist because the shot and physical therapy did not help me.
• First of March.....Blow #3.  (Which now....with Blow #1 and Blow #2.....we were at our near breaking point.)
• In late summer, Roger got a cortisone shot in his shoulder.....it's gotten worse so he went back to his doctor and they did an x-ray.  It is torn, he has spurs and something is pushing on the nerve...............a MRI was ordered.....because of insurance delays... he was finally scheduled for March 16th.....and he was to go back to surgeon in three weeks to see what could be done.
• March 16th Roger had his MRI.  An hour and half later....got a call from the surgeon and he wants to see him Monday morning.
• March 16th.....afternoon - Roger has been doing tons of labor work, trying to get everything done in case he has to have surgery.  He took the riding lawnmower to the shop to get new tires.  To help the guy out, he lifted the front of the mower...wound up twisting and his back that has been hurting off and on for a couple of weeks.........wound up in severe pain.....running down his leg.
• March 17th - went to the doctor.......Roger has pinched his sciatic nerve.....got a steroid shot...sent home to rest, use ice pack and alternate Tylenol and Advil.
• MONDAY.....Roger's doctor gave him the results of the MRI.  His rotator cuff is hanging by a string.  He's torn his labrum and tendons and he has bone spurs.  Surgery is scheduled for April 3......they will have to cut him open.  The doctor feels he can fix him.................but it will be a LONG, EXTENDED process.

BUT....in spite of all of these DETOURS in our life.........GOD IS GOOD..........and He Blesses Us Each and everyday.  We have SOOOOO much to be thankful for.  Our blessings by far outweigh the troubles.

I am sure part of the detours are where Satan is trying to discourage us because.....right now.........OUR CHURCH is BOOMING.  Sunday we had a baptism.....during the day, two more got saved.  That makes 10 saved since December.  AND....we are a country church..........we run in the 80's in Sunday School...............so we are not a huge church.  God is GOOD!

P.S.  If you have read any of my previous blogs....you will know....I am a DETAILED person.  I drive my husband crazy...........he always tells me to birth that baby.....he don't need the entire nine months.  Well....sorry ladies....you just got the nine months version!

PRAYERS HELP

Our church family has been praying for us.  Our friends have been praying for us.  We are praying.

PRAYERS HELP.

We all know that.............but sometimes we have to be reminded.

Blow #1 and Blow #2 are real............and so is Blow #3...............But God is using Blow #3.........and prayers are being answered.  KEEP PRAYING.

I guess one of the hardest things about Blow #1, Blow #2 and Blow #3..............Roger and I have NEVER been on this end................we have NEVER desperately NEEDED the love, support and prayers of our Christian people. 

We have ALWAYS been the ONES to GIVE the encouragement and prayer and love and support.

God is good and we have sooooo many things to be thankful for and because of everyone's prayers......I am reminded every day of my many blessings.

When someone asks you to pray for them.  PRAY.....I mean REALLY PRAY.  You NEVER know what another person might be facing that they can not share.

Please continue to pray for us...........PRAYERS ARE WORKING!!!

Broken

I've blogged twice about "the struggles" my husband and I are facing.....the unspoken struggles.

In November.....we were dealt with blow #1.....something we, personally has NEVER dealt with and had never dealt with even with other folks.

In December.....we were dealt with blow #2.....something that was bad enough within itself, but compounded with blow #1.......we were struggling.

Since that time.....then first of March....we were dealt with blow #3.....something that compounded with blow #1 and blow #2........almost BROKE us.

When we first found out about blow #3......we literally did not speak for way over an hour........and when we did, Roger said....."Kathy, I can't do this.  I can't keep going.  God promises he will not put more on you than you can handle, but I must not be as strong as he thought.  I don't even know if I can go to church tomorrow and preach.......I don't even know if I can continue to preach.  I can't do it."

We were broken.....and did not know what to do.  (It does not help that, as of right now, we are still not at liberty to "share what it is".

We went to bed and neither of us slept a wink.

Roger went to his office and was even considering calling our DOM and asking him to supply for him because.............we could not function. 

Well.....every Sunday morning, Roger will text, randomly different pastors that God has laid on his heart and send them a message of encouragement.  On this particular morning......that did not happen.  However.....he received a text from a pastor in Alabama.....one that he randomly texts but one that has never sent him a text first.  The simple text said...."Preach on brother, preach on."

That dear pastor probably has NO IDEA what he did....but I am certain God used him to get the message to Roger that he needed to NOT give up.

We got ready.............I taught my preschool Sunday School class............and Roger preached his heart out.  (None of this was done without emotions involved and tears shed, etc.  At the beginning of the service...Roger shared with the congregation that we were broken and needed their prayers.  We had just received blow #3...........and we are not at liberty to share details at the time, but when we can, we will.

Our church family was WONDERFUL.  They immediately got us both to go up front and they surrounded us.....prayed with us..........cried with us.........and loved us..................without even knowing the reason....except their pastor and wife were hurting.

And, man.....have we felt the PRAYERS, LOVE and SUPPORT all week.  That is what got us threw some very dark days and will continue to guide us.

I am sharing all of this................maybe...........in case there is another pastor and wife out there that is "BROKEN" and feels all alone.  We are HUMAN.............and we hurt just like everyone else.

I love you and I am praying for each and every on of you.

My "How-To" for Intimacy With God

I am learning how to cook.

Don't get me wrong, I can follow a recipe. I can measure our ingredients and set timers. I have a subscription to "Southern Living" and at least three Pinterest boards dedicated to organizing my culinary dreams. I peruse my collection of Pioneer Woman cookbooks to find something new to try.

Yet, I often find myself intimidated to alter a published, proven recipe to make it my own. I appreciate the step-by-step instructions that "should" lead to proven success.

My husband is a great cook. As we watch the Food Network and the Cooking Chanel, he gleans ideas and methods to try and experiment with. He will see flavor combinations and want to try new things. He might consult a recipe or two, but he will concoct something on his own adding a dash of this with a bit of that. It is usually delicious.

I am afraid of messing it up. I don't want to waste the ingredients or the money spent on them. Plus, if the dish is a success, how will I ever know how to repeat it? The fear is real, but I am gaining confidence and and faith in myself as I am learning to overcome it.

Not only am I a recipe follower, I am also a list maker and a rule follower. I appreciate being able to cross things off my to-do list and to know exactly what is expected of me in any given situation. Whether it is a recipe, a list or a rule - I can respect the planning, the preparation and the procedure prescribed to bring about the desired result . . .

Intersect that with what God has been showing me this week - a calling to be intimate with Him.

I long for a method described in a book that will lead me to simply embrace being with Him, or at least accurately describes what that looks like for me. I know that these resources exist and I trust that by His good graces, He is already showing me points to start at and places to continue from.

However, intimacy with God is a deeply personal and individual journey - with a clear beginning and definite end. For all of us Christ-followers, our origin stories will have definitive similarities and our eventual destination is all the same. Yet, this middle part we are in now is as unique as our Creator-given DNA.

There is no proven recipe to follow.

There is no list that will produce the desired outcome.

There is no set of rules that will not preclude into legalism.

So, how do we learn to be with God instead of just doing things for Him?

I can't speak for you and your journey, but I can try to share what God is showing me for mine. .  .

First, He has impressed upon me a need to embrace quiet. I wrote about that in my first blog post of the week.

Then in the silences this week, He has impressed upon me a need to listen and to learn. When my attention is on Him, He shows me scriptures in a new light. He reveals ways to apply His truth. He allows me to experience more of who He is.

Specifically, as He has led me into a deeper intimacy with Him and I have loved it! It has been literally soul-gratifying and freeing.

What has this intimacy produced?

When I dump the distraction of lesser things and deny the demands of my hectic, fast passed life:  He has revealed to me my dependence on recipes for success. He has shown me my addiction to that feeling of accomplishment when I cross items off my to-do list. He has allowed me to see areas of my life where I have been striving to meet my own expectations of the rules I have set up for myself.

It is unsettling for me to not have a plan to pursue a deeper intimacy with God. Yes, I can put myself in places to hear from Him. I can practice spiritual disciplines, but I realize that it is only by His grace that these things I do will bring about the closeness that I desire.

It is honestly a little scary for me to forsake list making. However, I realize that in order to just "be" or "live" in the moment, I have to sacrifice my perceived need of getting the next thing done -because, let's face it, there is always a "next thing."

That small adrenaline rush of crossing off that item comes with a sense of personal accomplishment that can easily and temporarily replace that God-given thirst I have for Christ.

Only He can finish what He began in me. I can't follow the rules enough. I can't do enough good in His name. I can't be what I require of myself to serve Him. My attempts only fuel the dreaded to-do list. It is a vicious cycle ---

In the silence, God calls me to rest and to realize my identity in Him. It is in this intimacy, this realization that I can simply  -  be. with. God.

So, enough with the recipe. So much for the list. Goodbye rules - for now I am learning to trust, not in me, or what I do, but in Him and in Him alone.

I am learning how to be intimate with my God.

Dwelling in Intimacy

You really come to know and understand someone when you live with them.

Ask my college roommates. I promise there was a legitimate reason I had 4 roomies in my first 2 years of school.

Ask my husband. That first year of marriage is a real eye-opener to many couples.  I know it was for us.

Think about it, when someone comes to visit, we break out our best behavior, we fuss over the menu and we pull out all the stops to make sure everything looks the best.

But, when someone comes to stay, to move in and to live with you, you make some initial accommodations at first. Soon however the formalities fade and frictions arise as life falls into routines and normalcy. In the living together we really get to know each other. In the living together we can easily become complacent. In the living together the intimacy that drew us together at first can slowly slip away.

In John 1, we're told the Word became flesh to dwell among us. How better for us to learn and to know our God than for Him to live with us. The original language here gives the imagery of Christ pitching a tent in order to stay awhile. All this so we could do life together that we might have an unimaginable intimacy with our Creator.

In Romans 8, the same word is used by Paul to describe our relationship with God's Spirit. He dwells in us. We are His tent. . .

With God's Spirit dwelling within us, we have the best, the most incredible opportunity to know God. He is living in us, with us. We can pursue our relationship with God through the indwelling of the Spirit and grow in intimacy with God.

Yet, in the mundane, everyday tasks of life, I can easily become complacent. I take for granted that the Spirit of the Most High dwells within me. I relegate aspects of my life to Him and exclude Him from others. The first one I should go to with my problems and frustrations becomes the last.

In my efforts to be obedient and live out what I say I believe, I find myself doing things for God instead of living every aspect of my life with Him. Living like this, in my own effort, I become weary and tired. From outside appearances I seem to have it altogether, but inside I am overwhelmed and scared that someone will learn how weak and defeated I feel.

The relationship of my faith can quickly, easily slip into disfunction and it is all my own doing:

• It's so hard to believe and accept that Jesus loves me the way that I am. 
• I feel like I need to prove to be worthy of my salvation. 
• I want to be in control and determine what is best for me. 

The list of ways I continue to try to sabotage my relationship with my Lord could go on and on - yet when I stop striving and simply just start to be with Him - allowing Him dominion over every aspect of my life -no matter how ordinary and inconsequential that it may seem- intimacy can once again be restored. It is in these everyday, common place moments He teaches me the most, grows my faith and prepares me for whatever lies ahead. Through this intimacy I can learn more about my amazing God and accept who I am in relation to Him...

For me it is all about learning to dwell with God as He dwells within me. I want the intimacy that comes with the familiarity of living with Him. But, I don't want to take Him for granted.

Just like I want to have a growing, vibrant married relationship with the man I share a house with - I want that kind of intimacy with the Savior I gave my life to because He gave His life for me.

As I live with Him I will truly come to know God. As I dwell with my Lord in this life I will get a taste of the life to come (the restoration of when He dwelt with the first man and woman of His creation in the Garden) and to experience full life now as He promised (the realization of His incredible faithfulness to keep every singe one of His promises to me).

This is the intimacy I want -no I NEED, to dwell in...

Quiet Intimacy

Living in a house with three kids, there is rarely a moment's silence.

Even after bedtimes, the television drones, the washing machine moans and the dishwasher whirls. (I am thankful it doesn't whine! I hear enough of that without the inanimate objects joining in!)

I have found even in the rare moments that I find myself alone in the car, I struggle with the quiet. I turn the radio on -even if just to zone out to the sports talk station that my husband left on the dial.

When doing housework or even writing I appreciate some sort of background noise. It's true, at times it helps me focus on the task at hand. But, other times I must confess it serves as more of a distraction from a greater task that God may be impressing upon me.

What is that impression? I am learning it demands the ultimate focus and a willingness to delve into hard things- rolling up my sleeves, shedding some tears and facing fears.  In the quiet I find Him gently impressing me to press into Him.

I heard a great devotion this morning from a man serving as a biblical counselor with over 40 years experience as a pastor. He expanded for us the definition of the word "intimacy." In his counseling of married couples, he was finding many of them had intimacy issues that were far more challenging then what was transpiring in their bedrooms. In his research and study he had learned that real intimacy is knowing and being fully known by someone else. He said he was surprised to learn the lack of true intimacy within these marital relationships.

In Ephesians, Paul equates the martial relationship as a metaphor of Christ's relationship with us, His church. He calls this relationship a great mystery and so it is. This type of intimacy is the same type of relationship that God wants to establish with us, His children. - with me, His child.

Here's the thing that gets me - that is simply beyond my understanding. He already knows me. Psalm 139 says that in the first verse: He has searched me and He knows me. Before a word is even on my tongue, He knows it completely.

So where does this intimacy between God and I fall short? Where is the weak link?

The devotion this morning also included this thought - we are as close to God as we chose to be.

He doesn't fail to be intimate. I do.

Yes, I am busy. I would even say most of the time I am busy doing things for Him - but am I doing them with Him?

Far to easily my Bible study becomes merely one more thing on my to-do list. I breeze over the pages of my Bible without really comprehending what I read, much less stopping to try to apply it. My prayers become one-way conversations at best, but could probably be better described as a laundry list of wishes.

It is in the quiet - when I allow the quiet to invade my busy - that God gently calls me deeper. He is beckoning me to seek Him, to know Him more, to know Him more intimately. Honestly, many times I don't like the quiet. I don't really want to hear what He will tell me in His still small voice.

I know that if I accept that invitation to become more intimate with Him, His Spirit will expose more of me to me. Sins, failures, shames, insecurities, will be exposed in the Light of His Righteousness. Those things He wants to free me from, those things He already knows about -but in my distracted, noisy, busy lifestyle I try to push aside and gloss over and pretend that they don't exist.

It is SO much easier to be busy, to be distracted, to zone out - yet when I give into those temptations, I sacrifice the intimacy I was made to crave and that can only truly satisfy me.

He tells us to take up our cross and follow Him. An intimate relationship with Him is costly.

He tells us to seek Him first. An intimate relationship with Him cannot be realized without being willing to be vulnerable with our Creator.

He tells us that we are a new creation in Him. An intimate relationship with Him is how He is renewing us with His new mercies every morning.

For me, I striving to turn off the background noise -even the praise music that's on repeat, so I can hear the quiet. I am trying to really listen to what He is saying to me. I am confessing that I have resembled my teenaged daughter's tendency to be physically in a room but completely tuned out in every other capacity. I am praying to seek the intimacy that can only be found in my embracing the literal quiet.

Being still and knowing He is God is taking on a new meaning to me this week. I am hoping to share more of this journey with you as write . . . Please pray for me to embrace the quiet and grow intimacy with God. Please know that this is my prayer for you too. . .

Retreat Time!

If you are reading this quick post, I am already heading to East Tennessee for the big ministers' wives retreat this weekend.  I cannot tell you how excited I am to get to come back "home" and see my Tennessee sisters.  I can't wait to laugh till my stomach hurts and to hug your necks.

I hope to see all of you there.  You won't be able to miss me.  I will be the short, chunky, crazy blonde gal eating chocolate.  (Girlfriends, I know there will be LOTS of chocolate at the retreat because I know the gals putting the retreat together).  So here is my quick thought about this weekend's retreat:

R-reuniting with Sisters in Ministry who love
E-eating chocolate as much as I do.
T-taking off the ministry mask and getting to be a
R-real person with a real name.
E-everyone laughs till their bellies hurt
A-and a few tears may fall but no judgement will be found because
T-true sisters in ministry always have each other's backs.