Tuesday, June 12, 2018

Sunday Mornings for a Pastor's Wife

My husband and I have been in full time ministry for many years.  We raised our two PK son’s now 34 and 31in the “glass house” world.  One thing I have learned is that every day is a battle with the evil one.  Oh, there are awesome days when all is right in the world and there is peace on earth.  However, let SUNDAY roll in and the wham!  Life seems to fall apart.  That is Satan trying to keep you from God’s work. 

Well girlfriends, that is why God made chocolate and a little humor for the us.  I am sharing today a FEW of the SUNDAY events that have occurred in our ministry.  They are very real moments in from this crazy, blonde, chocoholic preacher’s wife life.  See if you can relate to any of them.
1.      “Do I have to go to church AGAIN?”  Let’s see.  Are you running a fever or throwing up?  No?  Then yes, you GET to go to church again.
2.      “Mommy, I have going to wear my cowboy costume to church today because Jesus loves cowboys.”  Hmm, he got me on that one.
3.      As my husband leaves for church one SUNDAY morning, he casually mentions that I need to bring a casserole for lunch because a Sunday School class decided to have a pot luck.  Hmm, let’s see.  The pantry is empty and I still have to get two children under five to dressed for church.  NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!
4.      A certain two-year-old decides to play Army man on a SUNDAY morning.  He scales the piano bench and climbs on top the piano. I realize the house is too quiet and peer around the corner of my kitchen just in time to see my little one attempt to jump from the piano to the coffee table.  Instead he hits the corner of the table with his head.  He screams. I scream. (I want to run for chocolate ice cream!) Running to check on my little one, I discovered a huge goose egg bump on his forehead.  Thankfully, there was a nurse in our country church who lived across the highway.  Note to self:  never, ever leave a two-year-old independent future military guy unattended especially on a SUNDAY and you might want to become a military medic in case of battle injuries.
5.      As I stood in my bathroom in my robe with wet hair with two preschoolers who are crying for breakfast, my smiling, fully dressed for SUNDAY morning husband steps in and says, “Honey, I am heading to church to prepare for the message.  See you there.”  In my mind I imagine myself walking in to church in my bathrobe and wet hair dragging to two crying and hungry preschoolers who are clinging to my leg.
6.      Once I was so proud of myself because I actually going to be on time for Sunday School.  I was dressed; kids are fed and dressed.  As I gathered my purse, bible, and diaper bag, I heard squeals of laughter coming from our sons’ room.  Soon I saw my three and half year-old chasing his one and half year-old brother down the hall.  The younger of the two had decided that clothes and diaper are optional attire for church. I sigh, grab the streaking toddler, slap a diaper on his bare bottom and head to church.  You can always dress him there. Lesson to self:  Pride comes before a fall especially on SUNDAYS!
7.      My husband was baptizing a child during the morning service.  I was sitting at the back of the church with my toddler, who is watching intently, on my lap. (Yes, it was a small church with no nursery).  Suddenly, as the new convert was dunked under the water, my toddler started crying, “I want to go swimming with Daddy too!”
Note to self:  Always wear a clothing article that coordinates with the deep red coloring in your face.
8.      I was huge pregnant with my second child and trying to entertain/restrain my toddler.  Suddenly, the fiercely independent future military toddler spotted his favorite church member in the choir and skillfully slid like a wet noodle out of my lap.  The future military man then proceeded to “army man” crawl under all the pews all the way to the front of the church to go see his buddy. Hmm, those crawling skills did help develop him in to an awesome military officer.
9.      A visiting pulpit committee takes our family to lunch to further get to know our family.  The meeting lasted a couple of hours.  In the process our six-year-old and three-year-old decide they needed to go to the restroom which is across from your table.  After several minutes, the three-year-old ran in to the restaurant dining room screaming, “Bubba is locked in the potty and can’t get out!” Hmm, at least he didn’t fall in or the three-year-old flush Hot Wheels cars in the potty and cause a flood.
10.  Same pulpit committee, same lunch, same people, and same children.  Our three-year-old decides the “meeting” needed some entertainment.  Mr. Mischievous Funny Man crawled under the table and began barking and panting like a dog.  Hmm, at least my toddler did not think they were fire hydrants.

Sigh . . .SUNDAYS!  I did survive . . .I think.

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