Wednesday, August 17, 2011

To Shelter or Not to Shelter?

Recently, I was apart of prayer group consisting of mainly minister and deacon wives. The group meets monthly and despite what may be happening at their church, everyone will remain relatively mum on a certain topic. They have prayed each other through births, adoptions, deaths, illnesses, marital stresses and many other topics. The one topic they will always mention, but never elaborate on is the health of their church.

Their church IS going through a really rough season and it was on every one's mind that night. Yet, no one wanted to cross that invisible line and broach the subject of the giant elephant in the room. Then, one minister's wife did.

She is hurt. She is angry. She is bitter. At first, her comments were more subtle and veiled. Then they weren't. She openly blamed her church, the one her husband serves, as the reason her middle child refuses to darken the doors of any church.

The room grew really silent really fast. It was like all the oxygen had been sucked out of the room. No one made eye contact with anyone else. No made any excuses or apologies. She wouldn't have accepted them if they had. No one really acknowledged her comment. They let her keep explaining her prayer request with more slights on the church.

Honestly, I don't know all the details of her and her husband's situation. I do know enough that her feelings are justifiable. Obviously, over the years she had her husband have spoken openly with their teen children about what has happened at the church. Maybe more of their conversations needed to have taken place behind a closed bedroom door instead of at the kitchen table over dinner. I don't know. I wasn't there.

However, since that evening, I have wondered and asked myself how much of the "drama" that happens at the church should my children know? Should I treat certain issues with them in the same way I would another church attender or member? Then again, they aren't just any church member are they?

So ladies what do you think? Should I or shouldn't I shelter my kiddos from the politics of the church? If I do, how, and at what age do I stop?

By the way, please pray for this sweet family, this church and the futures of all involved!

2 comments:

lam324 said...

This. Is. Hard. My husband and I have 3 children and our oldest is almost 8. A few weeks ago, my husband came home from a board of directors meeting telling me something that was said about me at the meeting. I was crying and then our son walked in, we didn't know he had overheard the comments that someone at the meeting made about his mama. He was upset too at what they said and upset that his mama was crying. At that exact moment my eyes were opened to this very topic. This is something that my husband and I have been praying about as well. Looking back, I DO wish that we would have waited and talked about the meeting when he was in bed but since we didn't and he did hear, when he came to me, I wish that I would have stopped right then and there and prayed with our son, prayed for each of the board of directors and our church. This would have been such a good opportunity to show him how important it is to pray for those who come against you and love them how Jesus would have us to love them. I am looking forward to reading the comments and advice from others.

Tara said...

Wow! I have been there and I am sure I will be again. We want to keep our kids as innocent as possible to the ways Satan attacks the church, but when it hits home it is even harder to protect them. It is not too late to re-open a conversation with your son and talk with him about the situation. His feelings toward this person are probably still pretty raw. I know mine would be! Praying for you, your husband and your kiddos!