My brother and I are at the age where I will just call us
“Tweens.” No, it is not those couple of
years between childhood and teen years, but the years between having families
of our own and assisting our aging parents.
Since November of last year our parent’s health has deteriorated and our
mom is really struggling. We are forced
to juggle careers, our own family, and meet the needs of our parents.
Some of you may be walking through this time as well or you
have already gained your experience. I
can tell you that no one can prepare you for this period in your life. I struggle daily with being eight hours from
my parents. I wonder if they are eating
correctly, hearing the doctor’s correctly, etc.
There are many sleepless nights and even some tears. I mean, these are the same parents who wiped
my snotty nose and made sure I grew into a productive adult who loves
Jesus. Now, my brother and I are the
ones making regular trips to our parent’s home and assisting them with simple
task like shopping, cooking, cleaning, and caring for themselves. At this point my parents are refusing to
downsize to a smaller place or assisted living.
At least they have agreed to have someone come in once a month to
clean. Honestly, I am just so confused.
However, recently a dear friend who has been like a brother
to me since we were three years old shared his heart with me. He knows I blog for ministers wives and also
meet many of you through the various retreats and conferences. He sent me an email telling me how after much
prayer for me in the ministry I have and with the issues with my parents that
he feels I have a perfect platform to reach out to others, to share my
experience, and to offer hope. This
friend knows what it is like to go through this “tween” stage in life for he
lost his only brother, mother, and father just this year. He and his wife have been giving my brother
and me some advice that they learned and it is helping us deal with our
particular situation. What an
encouragement my friend has been as my family just begins the next life
journey.
And this stage in life is exactly a new journey. I am learning that God will walk with my
family as we handle our parents. God
loves my parents and so do we. God wants
the best for them and so do we. Girlfriends,
I am going to be brutally honest and say that I do not like to see my parents
or anyone suffer. What this journey is
teaching me right now is not to take our family (parents) for granted.
In the meantime, I will continue to make the eight hour
drive about once a month to attempt to meet some of their needs. I will have a supply of Peanut M & Ms in the car with me. But more importantly God will be walking with
me through this stage of life. One thing
I ask is that you pray for my family through this time, and if you have “been
there, done that,” please share encouragement and advice for me and other
ministers wives who may be in the middle of this journey. You never know who you might impact with your
comment.
God bless you all,
Vickie Lee
1 comment:
Just wanted you to know I'm praying for you. I went through that several years ago and although I was blessed to live close by, it was still a rough time in my life. Juggling family, ministry, school and work was really a struggle, let alone all the mental anguish of the whole ordeal. One thing I learned to do was make decisions concerning them with my head not my heart and never second guess those decisions. That may seem harsh, but their well-being is the critical issue and that's what I had to keep in mind. Know that I'm praying for you as you travel this road. Love you, friend!
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