Friday, October 21, 2011

A New Place in Life's Journey


My brother and I are at the age where I will just call us “Tweens.”  No, it is not those couple of years between childhood and teen years, but the years between having families of our own and assisting our aging parents.  Since November of last year our parent’s health has deteriorated and our mom is really struggling.  We are forced to juggle careers, our own family, and meet the needs of our parents.


Some of you may be walking through this time as well or you have already gained your experience.  I can tell you that no one can prepare you for this period in your life.  I struggle daily with being eight hours from my parents.  I wonder if they are eating correctly, hearing the doctor’s correctly, etc.  There are many sleepless nights and even some tears.  I mean, these are the same parents who wiped my snotty nose and made sure I grew into a productive adult who loves Jesus.   Now, my brother and I are the ones making regular trips to our parent’s home and assisting them with simple task like shopping, cooking, cleaning, and caring for themselves.  At this point my parents are refusing to downsize to a smaller place or assisted living.  At least they have agreed to have someone come in once a month to clean.  Honestly, I am just so confused.


However, recently a dear friend who has been like a brother to me since we were three years old shared his heart with me.  He knows I blog for ministers wives and also meet many of you through the various retreats and conferences.  He sent me an email telling me how after much prayer for me in the ministry I have and with the issues with my parents that he feels I have a perfect platform to reach out to others, to share my experience, and to offer hope.  This friend knows what it is like to go through this “tween” stage in life for he lost his only brother, mother, and father just this year.  He and his wife have been giving my brother and me some advice that they learned and it is helping us deal with our particular situation.  What an encouragement my friend has been as my family just begins the next life journey.


And this stage in life is exactly a new journey.  I am learning that God will walk with my family as we handle our parents.  God loves my parents and so do we.  God wants the best for them and so do we.  Girlfriends, I am going to be brutally honest and say that I do not like to see my parents or anyone suffer.  What this journey is teaching me right now is not to take our family (parents) for granted. 


In the meantime, I will continue to make the eight hour drive about once a month to attempt to meet some of their needs.  I will have a supply of Peanut   M & Ms in the car with me.  But more importantly God will be walking with me through this stage of life.  One thing I ask is that you pray for my family through this time, and if you have “been there, done that,” please share encouragement and advice for me and other ministers wives who may be in the middle of this journey.  You never know who you might impact with your comment.


God bless you all,
Vickie Lee





1 comment:

Pat said...

Just wanted you to know I'm praying for you. I went through that several years ago and although I was blessed to live close by, it was still a rough time in my life. Juggling family, ministry, school and work was really a struggle, let alone all the mental anguish of the whole ordeal. One thing I learned to do was make decisions concerning them with my head not my heart and never second guess those decisions. That may seem harsh, but their well-being is the critical issue and that's what I had to keep in mind. Know that I'm praying for you as you travel this road. Love you, friend!