Top 10 Reasons I Would Like a Stand In

 

1.        I need a stand for business meetings.  Since my husband always tells to sit on my hands and just smile during the meetings, there is no reason for me to be there.

2.       When I am in the restroom at church, I need a stand in for when another woman feels the need

to “share” about another church member.   First off I don’t want to hear the dirt on another person.  Why do people think ministers’ wives want to know all the “details?”

3.        I need a stand in when a person wants to tell me something so that I can tell my husband.  Just go tell my husband whatever it is that you need to tell him.  I promise he won’t bite.

4.       I need a stand in when I must attend meeting after meeting on a Sunday afternoon.  Seriously, don’t people ever take naps?

5.       I need a stand in when I am having a bad hair day.  I would rather the stand in face the stares than me.

6.       I need a stand in when my husband comes home with that “we need to talk” look on his face.  That look usually means God may be preparing to put us in the “relocation program” of ministry.  In other words, move.

7.       I need a stand in when I feel like standing in the church parking lot and screaming in frustration.  Now girls, you know that we have all felt this way at one time or another.  While ministry is a great blessing, there are difficult times too.

8.       I need a skinner stand in so I can wear the cute clothes they don’t fit on a chick like me who has “fuller” hips and thighs.  I have always wondered what it would feel like to wear tights with a cute little dress.  Sigh, only in my dreams!

9.       I need a stand in to take over some ministry responsibilities so I can focus on a couple of deadlines without interruption. 

10.   I need a stand in because I would love to sleep late on a Sunday morning just once like so many of our church members.  I just want to see what the thrill is all about so I can better relate to them.