TOUGH LOVE

There Comes A Time

When You Have To

Stop Crossing
Oceans for People
Who Wouldn't Jump
Puddles For You. 

 

I saw this posted on Facebook and read it to my husband because I felt that it "fit" our situation.

 
It is a joke around everyone that knows Roger and I.....we are weirdo magnets.  I say that loosely. 

 

When I happen to be home and actually cook supper, I have to cook LOTS because you never know how many people we will feed.  One night we smoked ribs.....thinking we would have plenty left for left-overs.  We were originally cooking for our son and daughter-in-law; and our daughter, son-in-law & grandson and the two of us.  By the time we were cleaning up......we fixed the neighbor across the street (the one that does not work; does not want to work and feels that the world owes him.....and he is in his mid-forties.) Another couple down the street happened to stop by and were hungry (they do not work either and are always looking for small jobs to pay a fine, etc.)  You get the picture............before we finished, we had fixed 7 extra plates and delivered them.  (So in all that night we fed 14 people supper.)

 

It was not unusual for me to come home and have some random something on the porch.....that Roger has taken as a "pawn" and loaned someone money until they got paid.

 

We are called to court.....to the hospital......,etc.......just from folks in the neighborhood.  (These are not even our church folks.............our church is 32 miles away.)

 

I read the above quote and told Roger.........we need to stop and listen to that.  Don't get me wrong............we HELP People....all the time and I feel like that is something that God wants us to do. 

BUT.....we do not hesitate to tell parents of grown children that many times they need to practice "tough love" and make them accountable for their actions.  We are guilty....of not practicing Tough Love to our "Neighbor Clients".  It is fine to show them Christian Love, etc......but we need to be careful and not enable them to not even try to help themselves.

 

We are doing much better and have been practicing this for several months.  We still feed them.....when we have left-overs.  (I can't even let stupid folks starve.....)  We still pray for them.  And we still listen to them.........BUT....we do not loan anymore money; we do not pawn items; we do not allow them to consume our every moment that we are home.  We have definitely backed way off.

 

It is very hard to accept that "You Can Not Help Some Folks"...no matter how hard you try.  You CAN pray for them and live an example that would be pleasing to the Lord.  But, you don't need to try to "Cross the Ocean".....it won't help them....it will only hurt you.

 

Even as Christians.....we need to sometimes practice "Tough Love".