Friday, January 30, 2015

Speaking Your Mate's Love Language

The topic that I was asked to speak on today was "Speaking the Love Language of Your Mate".

First of all, had Roger and I known our own and each other's love language years ago, it would have certainly saved us some hurt feelings. 

 For example:  We got married in August.  My birthday was in October.  He had always done good with birthday presents, etc.  I was expecting him to" knock my socks of"f with this being our first time to celebrate it married.

That day, he took off work.  Helped me clean up around the house.  We worked on several to-do lists together.  We just did all kinds of things together.
That night, we got dressed up and he took me out to eat.

We came it got later.....I began to pout......I was hurt.  FINALLY, out of anger, I told him I was hurt because there was no card; no present and no cake.  He kept saying that he was sorry but he had spent the day with me so he did not have time to get anything.  WRONG ANSWER.  Late that night, he was out begging the manager of Food World to open the bakery and sell him one of the cakes and he grabbed some perfume and a card..................but it was too late.

Over the years I was embarrassed over my selfish actions.

After studying the Love Languages and discovering mine and Roger's.........I realized what the problem was.

Roger's Love Language is QUALITY TIME with Act of Service running a close second.
 He was working in construction at the time.  He took the entire day off to spend it with me.  He HELPED me in the house.  He worked on to-do lists and he took me to he was showing me HIS love language in every way he know.

The problem Love Language is RECEIVING GIFTS with Word of Affirmation running a very close second..  It is not about money. The gift could have been as simple as picking me a bouquet of wild flowers and writing me a sweet note.  The time and effort put into it was what I was looking for to make me feel loved.  Therefore....when he said, "I didn't have time.......I lost it and reminded him that my birthday had not changed so he had had 365 days to prepare. 

All of this sounds silly....................but had we known our own and each other's Love could have been avoided all the way around.

What is your love language?  What is your husband's love language?
  1. Word of Affirmation - Word people:  they need encouragement, compliments, reassurance, etc.
  2. Physical Touch - they need you sitting close, holding hands, a gentle touch, a hug...
  3. Receiving Gifts - is not materialism; thrives on the love, thoughtfulness and effort behind the gift.
  4. Quality Time - they need your full, undivided attention.
  5. Acts of Service - they want you to do special things for them like making dinner, fixing a favorite dessert, or just helping them.
If you don't know your husband's love language or even yours.....I would like to encourage you to read Gary Chapman's book and discover it. 

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