I Know Who Does

As a minister's wife and a Sunday School teacher and a weekday church preschool director many people expect me to have all the answers.

Heavens! Even in my "job" as a mom, my three girlies expect me to have all the answers to all their questions all the time.

Sometimes just because we profess to be Christians, we've been put on a kind of pedestal where people assume that we have it altogether and have it all figured out.

Sometimes I believe that hype - or at least believe that is the way it SHOULD be - never questioning or doubting, always knowing, agreeing and obeying.

Yet, when I am honest with myself, my doubts seem dangerously huge and my questions seem to mock my very identity. If I was a "good" Christian, or minister's wife, or Sunday School teacher, then I wouldn't feel this way.

I tell my Sunday School class of high school seniors all the time that it is okay to question God and to seek His answers. The Bible is full of people who did that and God never failed to answer them, not once. Abraham, Moses, David, Peter, Paul - the list goes on.

In fact, it tells us repeatedly that if we seek Him with our whole heart, that we will find Him and that He isn't far from any of us. He is more than big enough to handle whatever mountain of doubt and delusion we may feel buried under. Besides, how little must I think of Him if I don't think He can handle all my insecurities and issues.

Even the apostle Paul admits to being perplexed, but not crushed. (2 Corinthians 4:8). Here the guy with ALL the answer admits to not knowing - BUT that was okay, because it did not crush him. And it won't crush us either. Take courage! Even in our "not knowing" we are in good company.

Sweet Sister, it's okay not to have it all together and to not have the answer to every question. You don't have to live up to all the hype and everyone's every expectation of you. I'm not just saying this to give myself a pass or to try to type some words to placate both of us in our ignorance.

It is in these times of open honesty, when we confess before the Lord and others that we are lacking, where He can take over and make it all make sense. It may not happen instantly and we may not get all the answers we are looking for, but we will be more than satisfied with what He gives us. He will give us Himself, showing us that He is a good, loving Father answering His children when they call to Him.

If we try to be more than He made us to be we are not allowing the world to see Him through us the way He really is. It's as if we feel He is lacking and we are trying to make Him look better. He sure doesn't need us to make Him look better - He can't look any better, He is God!

It's okay to not have the answers. It's not okay to stop asking. This is where our faith becomes our own and we grow in it.

We can always respond to anyone who asks "I don't know, but I know Who does!"