Friday, January 28, 2011

Letting Go of the Battle to be Perfct

We had invited a group of new members to come over to our home one Sunday night after their “new members” classes were completed. A fun way to end their sessions and since it was such a great group of people, I thought it would be fun to have them over for a fun dinner and fellowship and give them some "sussys".

By the way….I had wanted to do this for each new members group ever since we moved to Calvary, but had not. The reason? We still have not sold our home in TN and the mission house we are living in does not have much room for entertaining. Good excuse, right? Things would not be “perfect”…so I did not do it. Ridiculous huh?? I decided to to do it….crowded house and all!!

I knew what I would fix, thought how fun it would be….wanted them to know they were special….etc. They would come after church on a Sunday night and I could not wait!! However….

I woke up the Sunday morning of the “event” and realized I totally forgot about it!!!!! I jumped out of bed….told Ernie to cancel!! Find out a way to contact everyone and let them know I forgot and there would be NO way I could do it!! It would not be “perfect”! It could not be anything like I had imagined. I told him just to let them know we could not do it! I had forgotten.

Not only was the house very dirty and not picked up and definitely not in “company” condition I also had a baby shower I had to go to…and showers here are NOT come and go!! I knew it was the right thing to do!! They would understand.

He says, “OK” but then he calls me from church a little while later saying he just could not cancel. People were looking forward to coming…we’d find a way to make it happen. And make it happen we did!! Was it what I imagined? NO! Was it perfect? NO!! Was it fun? Yes?

I had to let go of “perfect”! I had to use the “so what” method. “So what” if I cannot cook all I wanted. So what if we had to order pizza instead. So what if the paper plates and napkins did not match. So what if I didn’t have “sussys” for everyone. So what……

Friend….let me encourage you to use the “so what” method as you deal with trying to have everything just right. Re-negotiate the invisible contracts that you have with people who expect too much from you. You have said it’s OK….so they expect it….renegotiate, friend! Surround yourself with people who do not expect you to be perfect. Find friends that you can have over with a messy house and no makeup and leftovers.

Say ‘yes’ to rest and say ‘no’ to the rest!

To be honest....there is so much more to say on this....but please know that I am praying....

2 comments:

Tara said...

Dana,

This sounds great, like you've changed your definition of perfect! But I have one question: What is a "sussy"?

Thanks for some great posts this week!

Tara

Dana said...

Ha!! I cannot believe I have not told you all about what a "sussy" is!! It is just a little something for no reason...just because...you know, a little gift...some people call them "happy's". Everyone needs a sussy every now and then!!