Parenting as a minister's family definitely has some interesting challenges. We are in a unique position as many in our congregations look to us for the "right" way to raise their own children. However, in the some situations preachers and preachers' kids have not set a good example.
Ministers' children get a bad rap and the stereotypes are far from favorable. Unfortunately, many these kids deserved that bad press. BUT, I don't believe that they are entirely to blame. After all, where are their parents? Oh yeah, committee meetings and programmed events!
My husband and I have been in student ministry for many years, and in my experience loving on this truly unique type of young person, I have found that like all teens, they long for transparency and sincerity. Yes, many times the preacher's son or daughter "shares" their dad and their mom with the entire church. They grow up in a fish bowl with the whole congregation criticizing even their smallest, inconsequential decisions.
I believe these kids can live with all that pressure and even thrive in the midst of church politics if the faith they see their parents live out is sincere. The hardest place to walk the closest to Christ is home. Our kids know when we are being real or just putting on a show. Sometimes we have to put on the "show" at church - but what about at home?
Let me encourage you to pray with your kids, cry with your kids, worship with your kids. Let them see you walk in faith. If it is hard, let them see it. Their lives won't always be easy. Show them what to do. Lead by example. Go to your Jesus for your strength so that one day they will do the same.
They don't have to know every detail, but be real. It is okay for them to see you angry. They can relate to that emotion. They need to hear you say you were wrong and that you are sorry. Remember that once your child accepts Christ, he or she is no longer just your child, he or she is also your brother or sister in Christ. Our kids need to be discipled - by us!
Now as my oldest starts the third grade she is more than ever aware of the good, the bad and the ugly in the world and, unfortunately, in the church. I have to pray for guidance and I let her hear me say that I need the Lord's help. I try to point her back to Jesus every chance I get. Someday, she may think I sound silly or corny, but I pray my testimony will show that I am sincere. I pray my transparency will help her authenticity in her own walk with our mutual Savior. I pray that in her own way, her own genuine faith, she will break the mold of what it means to be a preacher's daughter.
What are some things you are intentional to do in order to be transparent with your kids?
1 comment:
Thank you so much for this. I really needed it. We have been struggling about how to be good parents to our children. It is so hard to balance ministry, school, work and normal everyday life.
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