Help! I Want A Friend!

Are you sensing a need to develop close relationships? Are you even willing to admit your need for community? Do you even want people to get to know you? Get close to you? Are you fearful that if you drop your masks and walls that they won’t like the “real” you? What if they find out that you are not really very “spiritual”??!!

Once we admit that we definitely do need friendships…then below are a few additional ideas from what I talked about in the last post about how to go about developing Godly friendships.

Ask God to provide. Pray!! (Too often my philosophy is “Why pray when I can do something about it??” How terrible is that??)

Find a mentor—an older woman that walks with God and speaks Truth. These women will be your greatest joy and encouragement and friend!

Find a disciple—a younger woman who needs to know what it means to be a Godly wife or mother or woman. She will become a life-long friend.

Be genuine/real/transparent. Stop trying to be/look perfect!! Make a conscious choice to drop relational barriers and learn to reach below the surface to cultivate deep relationships.

Know when to move on. Unhealthy relationships rob and sap the life out of you! And know when to hold on. Sometimes a friend will pull away from you because she is running from God.

Re-connect. Locate old friends you have lost contact with.

Re-evaluate. If you float from one friend to another or have always had a hard time developing or continuing relationships—maybe (and I hate to say it) the problem is with you. Do you have control issues? Are you smothering? Do you have blind spots? Do you give way too much advice? Perhaps you are just too perfect?

Just a side note--Recognize that you might be in a season of waiting. Don’t just sit and wait it out. It is not a dry wasteland. Seasons of waiting can be a fertile soil where surprising new relationships spring up….or deep changes can happen within us.

During times of loneliness take stock of your life. It is during personal reflection that we often grow the most. We hardly ever reflect when things are going well....when we are full and feeling happy. Often times it is when we are hungry, empty, dry that we sit down and consider our options. Loneliness can be painful—but pain motivates us to evaluate.

I'd love to hear your insights on how you develop friends and/or deal with your seasons of loneliness.

Blessings to you, my friend!!