Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Different Rules or Higher Standard?

I was scrolling through my Facebook feed earlier this week and read something that made me pause. In between the pics of cute kittens and the status updates complaining of the weather, there was a post from a minister's wife that caught my attention, in a negative way.

If you are on Facebook, you may be like me and come to expect certain posts from certain people. I have "friended" people from high school and college. Not every one's social, political and even theological views are like mine. Students and former students from the various churches we have served are my Facebook friends too. I come across a variety of opinions, videos and ideas that do not begin to honor God. So, it takes a lot to get my attention and truly make me feel sad.

You see, this young minister's wife crossed "the line." You know "the line" I am talking about. The one that as a minister's wife separates you from everyone else. The one that when crossed, everyone seems to gasp and say, "She didn't!"

Her post was vague. She didn't name any specific name. Yet, she made it clear that she was feeling she had been wronged by someone in her church. She felt unappreciated for volunteer work. She wanted some acknowledgment. She needed to vent.

No doubt, if you have been married to your minister for very long, you can relate.

Ladies, the Internet is no place for this.

It may be fine for others to use the Internet and Facbook in this manner. But as a Christ-follower (notice I didn't say as a minister's wife!) everything we say, do and type, represents Jesus and His Bride, the church.

Somehow, if another Christian had written this, I might not have been too surprised or as disappointed. But, I confess, coming from another minister's wife, I was both surprised and disappointed. Maybe I do hold our sisterhood to a different set of rules. I guess I just feel like we should know better.

I am praying through how I should reach out to this sister. We are not close, only having met once or twice, but it is obvious she needs some support.

Whether it is fair or not, what do you think? Do we, as minister's wives have a different set of unwritten rules we should follow? Is there a higher standard? Do we place it on ourselves or do we allow others to put it on us? If so, what is it? What are those pesky rules?

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