Recently, I have felt a lot like I remember feeling in my college days. I was a decent student and did not procrastinate too much, but come exam time I can remember feeling like I was in well over my head. Trying to balance my time between tests, papers, and projects all the while not wanting to forgo any social commitment, left me with frayed nerves and little sleep.
My September was CRA-ZEE! Like many of you may do, I forgot the word "no" from my vocabulary and found myself over-committeed and over-committed. It has spilled over into my October and it doesn't seem to matter how organized I try to be, but little things are falling through the cracks.
Some of my commitments are my own doing. Others are where I have been "volun-told." Either way, it is too late. The commitment was made. The responsibility is now mine. Then I have my own expectations to contend with.
In order to stay sane, I have prayed for God to by my priority and for Him to set my agenda. I have shied away from a to-do list, because I have wanted to give God the freedom to dictate each day what is truly important and what really needs to get accomplished. A list that never seems to get any shorter would just stress me out all the more and that would lead to all kinds of extra "issues" (aka sins) on my part.
I must say that God has been so faithful. As I have sought Him above all else, all the really important "stuff" has gotten done on time. A couple of times I have even had time to spare!
In seeking God, and asking for His guidance, giving Him control on how I steward my time, I have also learned what really isn't that important. Those things He is teaching me to just let go, to let them fall.
For example, my house isn't the cleanest but I have still enjoyed sweet fellowship with friends here. My friend's birthday gift will be given a week late but I have had sweet moments reading with and playing with my daughters. Dinners have come from a take-out box but the conversation over the Kung Pao Chicken was meaningful and needed.
It IS hard to let things fall. As women we often feel if we let something fall, then we fail. Dear Sister, I have to believe as we allow our Father to order our steps, we have to trust that He knows what is best and won't allow that to happen. IF we give Him that control, we will be blessed. We just have to open our hearts and our hands, giving up that control to submit to live the full life He promised us in John 10:10.
I know, I know, I know that is a whole lot easier said than done. For me, I have to daily surrender it back to Him. Some days, some hours I have to surrender it back over and over again.
A spotless bathroom, an empty sink and a whole lot of ironing have fallen. What is it that God is calling you to let fall?
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