She described how she felt that her husband was set-up, that he couldn't possbibly make everyone happy, how "their" expectations were unclear and/or unrealistic. She shared how strong he had been in the face of "their" critisizm, especially when she didn't see how "they" had ever really ever given him a chance.
The tears started to well in her eyes when I knowingly asked her if he was questioning his call to ministry and how he was holding up emotionally. She was hurting because he was hurting.
Having seen that look in my husband's eyes and felt powerless to defend him the way I wanted to, I encouraged my dear friend to be honest with her husband, but to look for and take every opportunity to encourage him.
I challenged her to make situations to uplift him - to write him notes, to call "just because," to remind him of his worth- to her and to the Kingdom.
When "they" attack, our husbands can't help but take it personally. Usually, they do a better job hiding the hurt better than we do. Yet, no matter how well it's hid, it takes its toll and the words do wound. While we can't provide the healing, (only our Lord can do that), we can provide First Aid. We can be the first to administer the words that our man needs to hear - He IS gifted. He IS capable. He IS important to the church and the Kingdom.
We have to be our husband's biggest fan, doing whatever we can from the sideline to exhort and encourage our best friend in this struggle.
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