I do not like conflict and I try to get along with
everyone. I realize people are created
differently with different opinions and desires from mine. However, I do have a problem with individuals
who believe they are the “voice” of the church body. Just this week one of our staff members was
questioned about a certain aspect of the worship service. Basically, the person berated our staff
member in front of a group of people.
Over the last several months, I have heard from several
minister wife friends who are suffering in silence because of the attacks on
their church and/or the church staff from individuals within their
congregations. When people
question/attack the ministers or ministry of the church, ministers’ wives all
too often must bite their tongues, keep their mouths shut, and paste a plastic
smile on their faces. It’s not fair!
Maybe I should not even touch on this topic or vent my
frustration here but I believe each of you have experienced this same negativity
within your churches as well. So why not
address it and find out how you handle these frustrating situations. Besides, I am on a “cut back on junk food
including chocolate” diet.
When negative people call, I just go ahead and bite my
tongue. This poor organ of my body has
so many scars. On the other hand, my
mind is racing. “Did God call you out as His servant in ministry?” “Didn’t you vote to
change (you insert your issue) at the business meeting?” “Oh, you don’t like the direction the church
is going. Well, where were you when we
had several open church hall meetings to discuss the direction?” Girlfriends,
I really try to tame my tongue and even put my brain in corral but sometimes .
. . well, I fail.
Recently a person came to me and told me that she was back
after visiting another church for several weeks. My response was “Oh, I didn’t realize you
were gone.” Okay, this probably wasn’t
an appropriate answer but I DID have a smile on my face. However, the reason
she came back is that the other church taught a “watered-down message” and “the
music was too modern.” I smiled from the
inside out and replied, “See, you will always find the Truth taught unashamedly
here and we have a wonderful blended music program. Our church staff prays each week for people
to be saved and they also ask their Heavenly Father for direction to their
ministry.”
One thing ministry life has taught me is that negative
people are all around us. They are there
to question and attack. They never seem
to say anything positive and always doubt the church staff they called. What is sad is that it is not the people who
we are at battle with but Satan and his demons. My comfort comes in knowing
that my Savior experienced the same attacks and doubters. They tried to trick him. They tried to dishonor him. They even tried to kill him and end his
ministry. However, my Savoir won. He willingly went to the cross and died for
my sins and for the sins of all the negative people in our world. However, Jesus arose and will never be
defeated. He stands with his arms open
wide for all of us, even the negative people.
So what do we do when negative people call? We love them like Jesus does.
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