Thursday, September 4, 2008

Everyone's Friend

Have you ever felt like you needed to be every one's friend?

As a minister's wife it often seems people either shy away from us or consume us. It is a swinging pendulum.

We have looked at the importance of having friends and the characteristics of healthy friendships. It is possible to have good friends and best friends in ministry, but we must be wise in those relationships.

Today I would like to give you some suggestions to keep the women in church from jealousy.

As I developed my friendships in the churches we served, I learned some important lessons.

First, when you are at church events do not always sit with your best friend. Look for different ladies at each event and spend time getting to know them.

Don' share private jokes between you and your friend while in a group of your church ladies. This makes them feel excluded or even paranoid.

If you are invited to go somewhere with other women in the church, do not insist that your friend be invited. Be gracious and enjoy you time with the women who have invited you.

As you and your friend spend special time together, do not flaunt it when with the women of the church. It causes them to feel left out when you talk about the things you do with one particular person all the time.

It is not necessary to announce to everyone that "this is my best friend"! Women crave friendships and hearing that from their minister's wife can cause jealousy. It makes them wonder why did she pick her instead of me? Your 'best friend' will be there and know that you have a special bond, but it is not necessary for everyone else to know.

I am grateful for the many friends I have made through the years. Some of them are life long friends and some were friends for a season. They each had an impact on my life and I pray I did the same for them.

I have learned and laughed with women of all ages from all different places and stages of life. What an incredible blessing from our Lord. As women we are blessed to be able to develope deep, lasting, meaninful, relationships.

Paul says, "The greatest of these is love." We need to practice this love for all the women we are called to serve and thank God for those special friends that enter our lives and love us.

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