Married to Minister Living in Sin

My heart has been heavy and I have known for a while that I needed to address this issue….but I did not want to….I kept putting it off. After meeting with the friend I mentioned in my last post, I knew I could put it off no longer...yet even knowing this week I must bring it up, it is now Saturday and I have procrastinated all week. It is uncomfortable. It is easier to talk about things that are funny, encouraging, and light.

There have been so many times where a minister’s wife has pulled me aside to share with me how her husband is living, walking in sin. He stands to preach or teach the Word before a group of spiritually hungry people who take in every word while at the same time has dark secrets. He is doing exactly the opposite of what he is teaching/preaching. Please be sure you are hearing me correctly….I am NOT talking about your husband who sins…because we are all sinners!! I am referring to the one who is living, walking, abiding in sin.

Here are just a few examples:
My pastor husband encouraged me to have an affair….and I am.
My pastor husband and I are divorced….living together….and no one in the church knows.
My pastor husband is addicted to pornography.
My pastor husband is consistently harsh and cruel and mean to me and our children.
My pastor husband emotionally and verbally abuses me.
My pastor husband has swindled thousands of dollars from our friends and now bankrupted our family.
My pastor husband is having an affair.

The list could go on and on and it is something we don’t like or want to talk about. And to be honest, there is not the time or space to deal with it here. But one thing I have learned is that often times the enemy will get our husbands to think they are invincible. They can get to the place where they are not willing to hear the truth about their lives.

Sweet ladies, perhaps you are dealing with a husband who is walking in sin….and if you are not, please realize that we and/or our husbands are all one decision away from making these same mistakes or worse. One decision. No one wakes up one day and says, “I think I will have an affair!!” It happens gradually, little by little, and before we know it we have crossed the line.

We must do two important things. Confront and expose. Confront him with your concerns. Speak with love and truth and pure motives. If he does not listen to you (which honestly, might be the case) bring someone with you. This is Biblical. This must happen. It is embarrassing because we like to keep it all in the dark. BUT darkness is where the sin grows!! Expose it! Get it into the light so that it can be dealt with!!

I wish that as ministers’ families we did not have to deal with this pain and hurt….but trust me, the enemy wants to destroy the Body of Christ and one of the best ways he does it is to attack the leaders!!

Be courageous. Confront. Expose.

I am praying…..I wish we had more time/space to really talk about this…..maybe later. Oh Father I ask that You would put a hedge of protection around those who are leading the Body of Christ. That You would give that woman the insight and courage to confront her sinning spouse. That he would listen to her. Father raise up a people who will be trustworthy that we can turn to who will go with us to expose any life of sin. We desire pure marriages, families, churches. Surround our sisters who are hurting as a result of sinful decisions their husbands have made. In Jesus’ name…..amen.