Conflicted

I am conflicted. Excited about the future….yet sad to leave. What a blessing it is for us to be sad to be leaving because, to be honest, there have been times over the last 15 years that we have been here that I begged God to release us from this ministry here. Times that were so difficult and painful. Yet, how grateful I am that He did not release us when times were hard. That through His grace we persevered and saw the mighty hand of God at work.

We needed those times to know God in ways we did not know Him before. We have grown so much during the difficult seasons of ministry and it has given me such a passion and compassion for ministers and their families.

We have been showered with overwhelming love and tears as people found out we were leaving. I did not know how loved we were! Such sweet conversations and hugs and tears have blessed and encouraged us.......and then the joy was suddenly replaced with a cloud of oppression that came over me this weekend.

Of course the enemy is NOT happy and satan pointed out to me that there are some people who are glad we are leaving. Why is it that I allow just one negative person distort the entire picture? Why is it I allow them to affect my mind and heart? I can hear just one thing and it sends me into a state of depression or puts me on the attack!! I had my words all planned out….I was going after someone!! Why not? We were leaving….I could say it now!!!

Then, God took my face in His hands and spoke this very important truth to my heart. “Dana, I have asked you to forgive, to not be bitter or angry, and to love your enemies. How do you suppose you are going to do these things if you never have the opportunity? I am allowing these people to come against you in order to give you a chance to forgive and love well!!”

Wow! What freedom!! Bring it on!! As I forgave and loved and quit trying to plan what I was going to say to “get back”….my heart changed and my mind is no longer focused on the one negative word that was blinding me and robbing me of joy and I can now see and hear and accept love.

I have lots of questions for you as we leave here! So, tell me….

1. How do I make the wisest use of the short amount of time I have left here?
2. I will be staying for a while after my husband leaves….do I keep teaching my Sunday School class? Do I keep going to “our” church? Will that be difficult? Weird?
3. What tips do you have for selling a house?
4. What tips do you have for finishing well?
5. What has worked for you as you left ministries?

Keep remembering that "His grace is sufficient....His power is perfected in weakness...."