How do you do it? How do you say "no"?
My family is always on the go. There is always somewhere to be, something that needs to be done. Honestly, if we have a "free" evening, we will find a way to fill it with something, or else I fall fast asleep on the couch before 9:00!
So when people ask "How are you?," my standard reply is "Crazy!" I feel crazy. I feel like I meet myself coming and going. Honestly, I am thankful for all the snow days my oldest daughter has had from school because we have been forced to stop. It has been nice.
I realize that our crowded calendar is mostly my own doing. I am asked, "Tara, can you . . . ?" or "Tara, will you . . ?" and I say "Sure!" If my calendar was opened, it isn't anymore. Then there are the times that I simply see a need and because I know it needs to be done, I will try to squeeze it in between two other things I am not really sure how I was committed to in the first place.
Here is where I need your help. How do you say "no"? How do you not help? Where is your line and how do you keep from crossing it?
I really do need your help here . . . I need to have a conversation with my daughter's school's PTO president next week and the lady who heads up the girls' ministry in the youth group is waiting to find out if I am able to help drive to the girls' retreat in a couple of weeks.
So, whether you've been reading this blog from the beginning, or just happened across it, post your thoughts. It may be just what I need to hear.
2 comments:
I was having an email discussion with a friend just this week about that very thing. She said she and her husband sat down and came up with some goals for their family for 2011. Some financial, some personal, some spiritual. She told me that when faced with trying to decide on activities/events/things to be involved in, they weigh those things against the goals they set. If they don't help them achieve those goals, they don't participate.
I also heard a quote last week that basically said, it's better to do something about ONE thing, than nothing about everything. I've really been mulling that over in my head since I heard it.
by the way, I still haven't mastered NO, yet either.
Being home for almost a month with one or more sick kids really forced me to slow down and take stock of all the things we're involved in...
Just say it ONE time, it gets easier. Practice in the mirror "Oh, I appreciate your asking and I know it's a _________ (fill in the blank here . . good cause, great opportuinity, etc), but I WON'T be able to THIS time.
You don't need to explain to anyone. Keep your own power to say NO, don't give them the power to have you say YES.
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