Tell or Not Tell?

Do I tell or do I not tell? That is the question! As a minister’s wife, I have had several “ground rules” that I have typically adhered to over the years.

One ground rule is that I normally don’t automatically go and tell my husband stuff people tell me because I do not want to be the ‘go between’. I never want the people in our church to assume that if they want my husband to know something, but don’t want to tell him themselves, that they can tell me and I will tell him. If there is a life or death issue I break the rule—this is more for the people who want to complain or gripe or fuss about things that don’t matter but sometimes even for issues that deal with people or staff.

This ‘ground rule’ has served me well over the years. People soon learn that if they want my husband to know something….have concerns or “issues”, they need to talk to him not to me. I love to protect him that way.

Sometimes it has been super hard to keep quiet…other times it is quite easy!! Right now I am facing a dilemma. Something was shared (as a prayer request by the way!!) that I feel like my husband needs to know—but I don’t think I should be the one to tell him. Or should I?

First of all, it was a prayer request in a group that has a “ground rule” of what is said in group, stays in group. Secondly, I think they need to share their concern (it is a valid one) with my husband. BUT this is not the first time this concern has been brought to my attention.

Honestly, this has been on my heart and I have been praying about this for over a week—I want to “fix” this! I want to be a fixer!! I want to tell him….I want to tell them to tell him! BUT God keeps telling me to be quiet and pray! Pray and let Me handle it My way!!

Oh how freeing! To let God handle these “issues” His way without me getting in the mix and messing things up. Faith, Dana. Faith!!

Great! Good idea, God! That’s exactly what I will do. Say nothing to no one and pray!! So, pray I did. That is, until Sunday….I had a moment alone with one of the ladies with the concern and my big mouth busted out with, “will you please pray about telling Ernie about your concern? I think he needs to know.”

Grrrrr…..I so wanted to not say a word and let God handle this His way!! Forgive me Lord for thinking I can handle things and therefore miss out on seeing You do things that only You can do!!

So, what do you do? Do you always tell your husband the “stuff”?