Growing up in a home as the only girl with 3 brothers, you might think I was spoiled. Quite the opposite!! In fact, I spent more time grounded than all 3 of my brothers put together!
As far back as I can remember, I longed to be accepted, liked, loved....by my family, my friends, my classmates. I thought, if I was popular, then I would be happy. I would sit for hours looking through my brother's high school annual at the pictures of the girls who were homecoming queens and class favorites thinking, "if I were chosen class favorite, then I would be happy!"
By the time I reached my Junior year in High School I had accomplished all my "dreams" and of course, still was not happy. It was not until I heard about Jesus through Young Life (a non denominational ministry to High School students)....and after many questions and struggles with lack of belief in the miracles....in my bedroom one night....I told God I wanted to be His...that I had no idea what it all meant...but that I wanted Him to take my life...all of it....and then true joy finally came.
The problem was that I carried this false mindset of conditional love and of wanting to please people into my relationship with God. I longed to be loved and accepted by Him. I thought if I "did right" He would love me, if I did not, I would be zapped or "in trouble"!! I had to learn all about unconditional love which I had never known before.
Not only did it affect my relationship with God, it affected my relationship with my husband and people in the church. I desperately want to be "liked", "accepted", "loved" and want to please everyone. To be the "perfect" pastor's wife. It is EXHAUSTING trying to be a people pleaser and a burden that God never intended for me/us to carry!!!
One day the Lord showed me Luke 6:26 which says, "Woe to you when all men speak well of you...!" What freedom that brought!! You mean, my job is not to make everyone happy??? He gently reminded me, "No!!"
Do you struggle with being a "people pleaser" like me? Do you want to try to make everyone "OK"? I am learning, slowly but surely, that it is not only impossible to make everyone happy....it is wrong. As I pondered on this issue, I remembered that not everyone liked Paul, or Peter, or Jesus!!! I am pretty sure that God wants me to please Him....and He will take care of all of those other people!!
Let's enjoy the freedom God gives us....that we are totally loved and accepted by Him!! Not by what we do or do not do but because of His grace and mercy!!
How can we KNOW we are loved unconditionally by God? How can we love unconditionally?
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1 comment:
Hey, Dana, I too have 3 older brothers. But I was fortunate to have a sister and a younger brother also.
I think knowing we are loved unconditional by God is a faith issue. It's one of those things we just have to accept by faith--because we know we are so unworthy it is hard to get our minds around the fact that God would love us anyway.
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