Supporting Him At Church

When we first married, being involved in my husband's student ministry was easy. For me, it just flowed with the gifts and experiences that God had given me. Later, after our daughter was born,  it became more challenging. Then God called my husband out of youth ministry and I was left wondering where and how I would fit into my husband's associational ministry.

I know some of you didn't have any idea that you were even marrying a minister when you and your husband exchanged vows. God hadn't called him into the ministry yet. But, here you are and you are so sure that you can in no way fit whatever stereotype your congregation wants you to be as a minister's wife. You don't play piano. You can't sing. You really do not want to organize the WMU. But all these things are expected of you, because the minister's wife that preceded you, did all of this while homeschooling her kids and volunteering at the local soup kitchen.

The best way you can support your husband in his ministry is to be true to your Creator. He designed you for a purpose, for your husband and for your church. Please don't try to be, or allow yourself to feel pressured to be something that you know God didn't design you to be. Find those things that God did equip you to do and then plug yourself into your husband's ministry.

I have a good friend Susan who has displayed this kind of support for her husband's ministry. He is the Minister to Young Families and is responsible for ministering to young families through a contemporary worship service and other programs. Susan didn't try to join the praise band. She didn't lead a discipleship class or become a small group leader for single women. While, I think she would do great in these capacities, that isn't what God gifted her for in this season. However, she is a fantastic hostess and a huge encourager. Susan has opened her home weekly, sometimes daily to various groups. She encourages her husband by attending his mid-week Bible study. She uplifts those around her with her positive words and attitude.

Now, don't get me wrong. I don't have this completely figured out in my own life yet. My husband ministers to over 40 churches and other ministries. At his encouragement, I don't go to every church he preaches in. In most meetings, I have no place. So supporting him in his ministry can be a little more challenging. One way that I have learned to encourage him is by doing just that. His love language is "encouraging words" (Thank you Dr. Smalley!). I support him in the way I know my husband as an individual best receives support -  I try to be intentional in verbalizing, in writing, in letting him know, I believe in what God has him doing. Sometimes I am better at this than others. It is definitely something the Holy Spirit will gently prompt me to do when I can't seem to make it a priority on my own. 

Yes, there are some very tangible ways we can support our husbands at church. We can serve on or lead a committee. We could bake bread for the visitors or send a meal with our man as he visits a shut-in. We may sing in the choir. Hopefully, we are all watching our own lives to make sure we are setting a God-honoring example for the younger women in our churches. (Titus 2)

But, there are some other ways that we can support our husband's ministry. Because we have such an insider's view on our husband, his personality and his life, God can use us to encourage and support our husbands in ways that no one else in the church can. It is both a responsibility and a privilege.

So, ladies, how do you do it? How do you support your minister husband at church? What is your God-given role in his ministry? Please post your ideas here. Your posting might just be what one of our dear sisters need to read . . .