Supporting Him In Conflict

You may have been reading my last few posts and be thinking, "Well, Tara that is all and good, but right now I don't feel like supporting my husband." Let me assure you, dear reader, that I don't just assume that because you are married to a minister, that you have the perfect marriage that everyone in your congregation expects you to have. I know that it is hard to listen to your husband preach on family and marriage when you know that the picture he may be painting from the pulpit, doesn't match your reality at home.

Personally, there have been times in my life when I felt like the biggest hypocrite walking into church on a Sunday morning. I have plastered the smile on my face and done my best to act like everything is okay, but I am really fuming or hurt or frustrated or I-don't-know-what on the inside. Especially that first year of marriage, boy it was rough!

None of us like those feelings or situations, but I am pretty sure we can all relate. So how do we handle conflict within our marriages? This is yet another topic that is not exclusive to us as ministers' wives. 

From personal experience, like yesterday's post, I would begin with prayer. Then I thought my pastor had some great ideas in his sermon this past Sunday. (Thanks Chris!) He called his sermon "Rules of the Rings". I thought I would pass on his points to you:

1. Listen twice as much as you speak - I should understand before I expect to be understood, Proverbs 10:19
2. Choose your battleground - Location: Private, Timing: Immediately, Ephesians 4:25-27 & Acts 27:41
3. Don't attack the person, attack the problem - Ephesians 4:29-31
4. Always Forgive - Ephesians 4:32 & 1 Corinthians 13:5

I'd like to say that my husband and I never have issues, but hey we each married another sinner! We are bound to have problems. I just pray that we handle them in a way that honors and glorifies God.

What about you? I am sure there are ladies reading this post who have been married way longer than my nine and a half years. Any suggestions on how to handle conflict?